


Names Series

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-07-31
Updated: 1998-07-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11351541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Our heroes seek out love in a Cancer-free world. (Archived at RatB)





	1. Unknown

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Unknown

  
**Unknown  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
Things were happening he didn't understand. 

It wasn't completely unheard-of that things happened to Fox Mulder that he didn't understand. The theory of relativity, while almost childlike in its simplicity, somehow empirically didn't unfold itself in his brain. The reason that his toaster, whether set on light taupe or dark black nevertheless insisted on popping up small chunks of charcoal, was a complete mystery. The Loch Ness monster he could grasp; UFOs, serial killers, and the reason that his partner didn't find the Three Stooges funny were within his consciousness. What stared at him from the screen of his computer went far beyond simple unexplained phenomena, however�it was downright _strange_. 

It was an e-mail. On the surface, a harmless and relatively normal occurrence in the daily life of an FBI agent. This particular e-mail, however, was from Alex Krycek. 

Alex Krycek. The bad-haircut boy wonder patricidal ratboy, sent him an e-mail. And not just any e-mail. It was an invitation to meet; and it was one that he didn't think his curiosity would let him ignore. 

He found himself tapping in a reply before his brain had even begun to weave through possible set-ups, conspiracies, and the really, really bad feeling he was getting from this. He could practically hear Scully's voice in his ear: "Since when has the possibility of your own death ever stopped you from doing anything, Mulder?" 

"Never," he said aloud, as he clicked the 'Send' key, and watched his e-mail disappear into cyberspace�straight to his worst enemy. 

Scully turned off her computer with a sigh. "Did you finish your half of the report? Mulder?" 

He looked at her, absently. "What?" 

"Hello. You've been in outer space for the better part of a week, now. What's going on?" She leaned against his desk. "Is it your mother? She's not worse, is she?" 

"No, she's fine. I'm just�trying to figure something out. I'll be fine, really." He glanced at his watch. "You should go home." 

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah. _I_ should." She pulled her coat on. "Don't stay here all night, okay?" 

"Sure. See you tomorrow." 

She nodded at him, and left the office. That was one of the things that he really liked about her�she knew when to pick her battles, and when to just leave it alone. 

He stared at the unfinished case report on his desk for another half-hour, reading the same sentence over and over again even though it had permanently etched itself into his brain the first time he looked at it. It had been six days since he'd received the e-mail from Krycek, and he hadn't heard a word. He didn't even know if his return message had been received. Hell, he didn't even know if it was really Alex who sent the message in the first place. 

"Hard at work?" 

He whirled around, the dim light from the hallway shining through the partially-open door. It, and the light from his computer screen, was affording the only illumination in the place. It was enough, though, to glint off the dull leather jacket on the personage of his worst enemy in the world. It took him bare seconds to raise the gun off of his desk and aim it at the calm, unruffled face of Alex Krycek. 

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you where you stand." 

Alex stood there immobile, hands raised. "A reason, or a good reason?" There was no humour in his voice. 

Mulder released the safety on his gun. "You think you don't deserve it? After what you did to Scully, and her sister? After what you did to my father?" 

"If you think I deserve it, why haven't you shot me already?" Alex took a tentative step forward, hands still skyward. "Why didn't you do it before, any of the other times you had the chance? Why have you never done it, Mulder?" 

Mulder's eyes shifted. "Don't come any closer." 

"It's because you know, don't you? You know that I wasn't the one who killed your father. You know that I didn't kill Scully's sister, either. And as for what happened to your partner," he shook his head, he was almost close enough to touch the gun, "it would have happened whether I was in the picture or not." He reached his hand out and pulled the gun out of Mulder's hand, clicked the safety back into place, and set it down on the desk in between them. 

Mulder stared at it for a minute, but didn't make a move to pick it up. "I don't know anything," he said, finally. "Least of all, why you're here." 

"Don't you?" Alex asked, his voice soft. Something in it make Mulder look up at him, quickly, hoping to catch a clue as to what was happening here, but any answers vanished behind the cold veil of his eyes. Instead, Alex said, "We have to get out of here." 

"We?" 

"Listen, Mulder, neither one of us has any time for this. If you didn't want to talk to me, you wouldn't even have acknowledged my message. I can't stay here�you know that." 

"Afraid you'll get caught?" 

"No�I'm afraid that we're both going to get killed, and then nobody will ever know what that bastard's gotten away with." 

It was the first sliver of a clue that Mulder had been given, and he ran with it. "Cancerman?" 

"I didn't mean the tooth fairy. Look, I'm leaving, whether you come with me or not." He turned in the doorway, carefully shielding himself as he scanned the hall. He looked back over his shoulder. "Coming?" 

Questioning his sanity every step of the way, Mulder picked up his jacket and went to the door, motioning Krycek behind him, and providing cover for him until they'd managed to get out of the building entirely. 

It wasn't until they were in Mulder's car and twenty minutes away from the Hoover building that either of them spoke again. 

"So, who killed my father, Krycek? I _saw_ you there, and the funny thing is, I didn't see anyone else." 

"There wasn't anyone else." 

"So you did kill him." 

"I didn't say that." 

Mulder's heart skipped a beat, and he pulled off the highway onto the shoulder, and stopped the car. "What the hell are you talking about? Why are you here? What is going on?" 

Alex was silent for a moment, staring straight ahead. When he spoke again, it wasn't about Bill Mulder, and once again, there was no emotion in his voice. "I knew they were going to take Scully, and I also knew that there wasn't anything that I could do about it. They would have taken her whether I was there or not. But because I was there, they didn't get the chance to kill you." He looked at Mulder, his eyes distraught. "You were never supposed to reach the top, Mulder. The car was supposed to crash before you reached it. Why do you think that Duane Barry ended up there in the first place, just after the cables had been installed, but _before_ they'd been tested?" 

"And the operator?" 

"I hit him, he was unconscious, and then I went to find you. When they told me that he'd disappeared, I knew it was just another notch against me. They'd set me up so perfectly that I couldn't _move_ without their say-so. They don't care about me, Mulder. I'm supposed to be dead ten times over by now. I don't really know why I'm not. You're the only thing that he cares about. Keeping you alive, and keeping you away from the truth. We have to stop him." 

"Why now? Why not before?" 

"Because I didn't have any proof before. We have to get out of here," he said, tiredly. "We can't go to your place. They keep you under almost constant surveillance." 

"My mother's place�" 

"No, they'll look there, too. We have to go somewhere anonymous." 

"What do you suggest?" 

"Pick a motel, any motel, and wake me up when we get there." 

Mulder stared at him for a moment, then started the car up and pulled smoothly off the shoulder. Alex was asleep before they'd even gotten back into traffic. 

He drove steadily for an hour, remembrances of Alex's safe driving tips ringing through his mind. "Do you know how many traffic fatalities are caused by lack of sleep?" he muttered to himself. 

It was all too unbelievable. He didn't dare even let himself hope that Alex was telling him the truth, and this mystery evidence would surely lead him down the same dead-end that he'd faced every single time before. But if it didn't - 

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty," he said, shaking Alex's shoulder. "We're here." 

"Great." He looked around before exiting the car, then headed straight into the room. 

"I hope this is all right." 

"Believe me, Mulder, compared to where I've been the last year, this is paradise." He turned with a half-smile on his face, which faded almost instantly when he was faced with the barrel of Mulder's gun, pointed straight at him. He shook his head, raising his hands. 

"Hands behind your back," Mulder said, turning him around. He handcuffed the man and threw him against the bed, straddling him and patting him down. 

"Why Mulder, I didn't know you cared," Alex said, his voice flat. "It's in my left breast pocket." 

Mulder pulled out an envelope containing a computer disk and a small gold key. 

"The key's for a safety deposit box. You bring your laptop?" 

Mulder nodded. "It's in the car." 

"Good. Boot it up, but don't connect the modem. They've probably got you wired that way, too. We may have a jump of an hour or two on them before they find us." He shifted on the bed until he was lying on his side, and curled up slightly. 

Mulder went to his car and brought out his laptop computer, plugging it in to the table by the window. He slid the disk in and prayed that it didn't short the thing out completely. Alex was once again asleep, despite his uncomfortable position on the bed. 

To his great surprise, there was no explosion from the computer. After a few minutes, encrypted files started to show up from the directory. The code was a simple enough one, not that it would really have mattered. If the information had gotten into anyone's hands but his, it would have been destroyed, not de-coded. He rubbed the back of his neck, put on his glasses, and started to work. 

"Scully?" 

"Mulder, where are you?" 

"I can't tell you that. I need you to listen to me. You have to meet me. It's important. I think I've got him." 

"Who? Mulder, what's going on? We're supposed to be in a meeting with Skinner in twenty minutes." 

"Cancel it and get in your car. Meet me in an hour." He gave her directions. "It's a coffee shop. Sit down somewhere and order yourself some coffee. I've got to get another car, so I may be a little longer. If I haven't shown up within half an hour, that means that you were followed." 

"What are you talking about? What's happened?" 

"I've got them Scully. I'll see you in an hour." 

He hung up the payphone and carefully wiped his fingerprints from it. _Damn, Alex is making me _more_ paranoid. We should have a contest._ He got back into his car and took a circuitous route back to the motel, doubling back several times to make sure no one was following him. When he returned, Alex was still asleep. He'd slept the night through�Mulder had even checked on him a couple of times, just to make sure he was still breathing. 

He patted his coat pocket, fingering the disk there again. He'd held it so often that it should have his fingerprints permanently etched on it. After the first stunned realization of what he had, he'd copied it several times and mailed the copies out to a couple of dead-end addresses, where he'd be able to retrieve it, if necessary. He'd even sent a copy to the Lone Gunmen�sort of an early Christmas present, so to speak. They'd definitely be breaking out the imported beer over this one. 

Names, dates, times, places, people�everything was there, from the moment it had all started, until the day he'd received Alex's e-mail. How he managed to get the information on the run, he'd never know. Scully's "abduction" by the Department of Defense and a foreign conglomerate conducting covert tests of a biological warfare; Melissa Scully's assassination, which hadn't been as much of a case of mistaken identity as they'd thought; his mother's stroke and subsequent healing; several of the X-Files cases that had been mysteriously pulled; everything, everything he could have hoped for was there, and more. And less. 

There wasn't one word on the entire thing about Samantha Ann Mulder. 

"The key is to a safety deposit box in Montreal." Alex's voice was tired and shallow, and he startled Mulder by speaking. "I can give you the directions." 

"You aren't coming with me." 

"Mulder, do you honestly think that they're going to let me leave the country? At best, I'll provide a bit of diversion for you." 

"Why are you doing this?" 

Alex looked at him, and stretched his neck back. "I'm tired. I can't run forever. I did a good job of it for a couple of years, but I can't do it anymore. Everyone involved with this ends up dead." He shrugged. "I guess I'm ready." 

"I'll protect you. I need you to testify." 

Alex smiled. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say." 

Mulder sat down on the edge of the bed, and took the handcuff key out of his pocket. "I swear to god, Krycek, if you run�" 

"Where am I going to run, Mulder?" He winced as the cuffs came off, and rubbed his wrists gingerly, as the circulation returned to his hands. "Thanks." 

"I have to go and get Scully. Do you want any food or anything?" 

"No, I think I'll just have a shower." 

"I should be back in about two hours. Keep the door locked, and don't run." 

"Believe me, I don't have anywhere left to go." He went into the bathroom and shut the door. Mulder heard the shower turning on before he left the room, closing and locking the door behind him. 

He realized how conspicuous he looked only after he'd made it to the coffeeshop�rumpled FBI-type suit on a man who obviously hadn't slept in the last two days. He accounted for every car in the area, driving around the place ten times before he pulled into a lot a block away and walked up. She was sitting in a booth in the corner, drinking her coffee. 

"You look like hell," she said, as he sat down. "What's going on?" 

"We've got them, Scully," he said, the glee finally starting to register in his voice. "Hard evidence of the government conspiracy, with Cancerman at the head of it." 

"Where have you been all night?" 

"I've got a witness who came forward. He's in a motel room about forty-five minutes away from here. He's got documentation on him that will bring the entire thing down." 

"And you left him alone there?" 

"That's why we have to get back, before anyone finds him. Come on." He got up, swaying a little. 

"Whoa," she put a hand on his back. "When was the last time you slept?" 

He shook his head. "Two days ago. I'm fine, really." 

"Right. I'm driving." 

He looked willing to protest for only a few minutes, then shrugged. "Fine, but we take my car." 

He filled her in as she drove, and the depth of his information just started to sink in to him as he talked. When they reached the motel and she shut off the car, they sat there in silence for a few minutes. 

"If this is true�" she said, then broke off. 

"It has to be," he said, and opened his door. "It has to be." He tossed her the motel room key and grabbed the take-out food he'd ordered from the diner. He'd almost forgotten about Alex until she'd unlocked the door and had quickly pulled her gun out of her purse. He came in and kicked the door closed behind them. Alex was sitting on the couch, his hands raised, a magazine on the floor in front of him, where it had fallen from his hands. 

"What the hell is he doing here?" She made no move to lower her gun. 

"Scully, put the gun down." 

"Mulder," she glanced at him, "handcuff him." 

"Scully, it's okay, really. You can put the gun down." He moved over to her. Alex hadn't made a move off of the couch. _Smart guy,_ he thought. "He's not going to do anything." 

"Of course he isn't. We're going to take him in." He made no move towards Alex. "You can't mean to say that _he's_ your witness? Mulder, you can't believe anything that he says! We have to call the Bureau. We have to take him in." 

"We can't do that, Scully. They'll kill him. Look, just put the gun down, and sit and listen to me for a minute. If you don't believe me, you have my permission to shoot him." He glanced over at Alex, who gave him a 'very funny' look. 

Cautiously, she lowered the gun, but refused to put it down. Not taking her eyes off of Alex for a second, she sat down on the chair closest to the door, as if expecting him to make a run for it. "Okay," she said. "Talk." 

"You don't seriously expect me to believe any of this, do you?" She was sitting in exactly the same spot, three hours later. She'd put the gun down on the table beside her after half an hour, and shed her coat after an hour. A completely untouched cup of coffee was beside her. 

Alex, unneeded through Mulder's narrative, had fallen asleep again, after having eaten a few bites of the food he'd brought with them. He had the strength of a newborn puppy, all of a sudden. Mulder couldn't help but think how young he looked�the kid wasn't even thirty, for god's sake, and he had half of Washington on his bad side. 

"Scully, we have evidence. Documents, photos, videotape, wiretap, everything. It's all spread out here, just waiting for us to do something with it. What more do you want?" 

"I want to know why you trust him, Mulder. He killed your father!" 

"No," Mulder said, shaking his head. "He didn't." 

Scully turned her head, and Mulder did, too, reflexively. Alex's eyes were open; he was staring at Mulder, but he didn't say a word. After a moment, Scully went over to him. She held a wrist up and checked his pulse. "Mulder, what did you do to him?" 

"Nothing. I�" 

"His pulse is thready." His eyes had closed again. "Has he done anything since you picked him up?" 

"No. He's just been sleeping, almost all of the time." 

She carefully pulled his shirt up, revealing dark bruising over his abdomen and chest. "Somebody did this to him. He's probably got internal injuries." 

"Dammit! Why didn't he say anything?" 

"We have to get him to a hospital, Mulder." 

"If we take him anywhere, he'll probably end up dead." 

"If we don't, he's going to end up dead anyway. He may need surgery." She turned to him. "If this evidence is real, that means that we have them now. Nothing that they do to Krycek will change the fact that we know, and we can expose them. Listen to me, Mulder," she took his arm, "we have to open this up." 

Mulder was staring at Alex's still form on the bed. "If we do, I might never find her." 

"Do you want to sit on this? Sweep it all under the rug and pretend that it never happened? You have to make a decision, and you have to make it soon. If we don't act right now, and they find you and Krycek here with this information, then you're as good as dead, too."

He nodded. "I know." He looked at her, searching her eyes. "Let's do it." 

"We have got to make this as big and public as possible. That where we went wrong in the past. We need police, ambulances, FBI, media, everything." 

Mulder snorted. "You want to Oswald him?" 

She rolled her eyes. "Without Jack Ruby, I hope. Get on the phone and call Skinner. I'll get the ambulance." 

It was as flashy and public as they could manage it on such short notice�there were television cameras and newspapermen at the motel before the ambulance even arrived, all proclaiming the capture of a wanted fugitive who was in possession of evidence which would rock the highest levels of government. Skinner had shown up, breathing fire, until Scully took him aside and showed him a few pieces of their evidence. Afterwards, he took over like a pro, issuing a press release and coordinating the efforts of his agents to track down the missing pieces and start rounding up their suspects. 

Mulder and Scully rode with Alex in the ambulance, trusting no-one else to ensure the safety of their prime witness. Scully even scrubbed and accompanied the surgical team, observing the operation from inside the O.R. There were armed guards at every entrance to the hospital, but Mulder didn't trust any of them not to be on Cancerman's payroll, and stood guard himself, not ten feet from where his ex-partner, ex-nemesis was being cut open. 

Alex did have internal injuries and bleeding, but they managed to patch him up and get him into a private, guarded room in ICU within a couple of hours. The doctors gave him a fifty-fifty chance of surviving the surgery; afterwards, they were giving him the first twenty-four hours in recovery before they made any long-term predictions. If he survived that, he'd probably be all right, but if he didn't, they'd lose their best witness. 

Skinner himself had assigned the guards to watch over his room, but even so, Mulder didn't leave him alone for four days. He slept in a plastic chair beside his bed for the first night, until Alex woke up and they knew he was going to survive. After that, Scully persuaded some hospital staff to bring in a cot for him, knowing that he'd never agree to leave until Alex went with him. It was as if Alex Krycek was Mulder's own personal odyssey, now, and he never once spoke of Samantha. 

The three men around the table looked at each other, seeing nothing. They'd come to this plain office away from the hub of governmental activity early that morning, before the first reports had surfaced on television, before any of them could be named. 

"You were supposed to take care of him," the first one said. 

"I did," said the second, striking a match. The room shortly filled with a blue haze of tobacco smoke. 

"Apparently not well enough." 

The third man said nothing, just folded and re-folded the single piece of paper on the desk in front of him. 

The cigarette-smoking man pressed a button underneath the table. A younger man in a gray suit came into the room. The older man gave him a thick manila envelope. "For this morning's mail," he said. The younger man took it and exited the room. 

There was a pause of silence for a few moments, then the man dropped his cigarette to the cheap carpeting on the floor. He removed a gun from his right suit pocket and paused. 

From outside the room, the younger man heard the report of three gunshots, and then nothing. 

"You still here?" 

Mulder shifted, waking from the half-doze he'd fallen into, and pulled his chair closer to the bed. "Yeah. You okay?" 

Alex nodded, stiffly. "You should go home." 

Mulder stretched out his arms. "And leave all this?" 

Alex grimaced. "Don't make me laugh. What day is it?" 

"Friday." 

"How long have I been here?" 

"Only three days. Are you in pain? Do you want me to get the nurse?" 

"No, I'm okay. Did you get him?" 

Mulder nodded. "It's over," he said, only lying slightly. Better to let Alex get his rest, and tell him everything when he was out of the hospital. 

"Good." His eyes fluttered shut again, and he was asleep. 

They'd rushed the offices immediately after de-crypting the final parts of the disk, and sending fifteen armed guards along with the courier to the safety deposit box in Montreal. The final links of the puzzle had fallen into place then�more names, even more specific and high-level than before. The consortium, of course, knew everything hours before anyone else, but this time, there was nowhere left to run. One final meeting of the minds responsible for more governmental policy in the last thirty years than anyone else, three shots fired, and it was all over. 

The nondescript government office was ablaze almost immediately; one of the firemen who responded to the call remarked that it looked as if it had been napalmed; later, they would find the culprit to be the combination of a simple household chemical spray used on the carpets, and a 'carelessly' dropped cigarette. The fire destroyed everything inside, including the bodies of the three men, all consortium members, who'd taken their lives inside the room where they had conducted the most heinous of their crimes. All were eventually identified through dental records. Mulder didn't even have to be told that Cancerman was one of them; he'd known, somehow, that the cigarette-smoking bastard would find a way to escape, in the end. 

The remaining consortium members were indicted and tried individually; high-ranking men in business, industry, government, and military, they were passed around from group to group, refusing to accept blame or provide any sort of answers when questioned. Eventually, the prosecutors gave up trying to question them and presented their cases and witnesses without any opposition from defense counsel. All were given life sentences; two died mysteriously in jail awaiting trial, three would be pardoned after serving a minimal amount of their prison sentence. 

The only answers he would get would be the ones provided by the evidence brought to him by Alex Krycek. 

"Discharged already?" The nurse came into the room, smiling. "One of our best patients, too." 

"I bet you say that to all of your unconscious patients," Alex said. 

"Only the important ones." 

Mulder rolled his eyes at the exchange. All of Alex's nurses somehow managed to be young and pretty, and they spent an inordinate amount of time in his room, or so it seemed. 

There was a knock at the door, and Scully poked her head in. "Are you decent?" 

"Is that a loaded question?" 

Alex glared at him. "Come on in." 

There was still only a tenuous truce between Mulder's current and former partners, but the air was clearing, day by day. "We've nearly got you ready to leave," Scully said. "We're just waiting for your transportation to show up, and then you're on your way to the safe house." 

"Wait," Mulder said, stopping her. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Sure," she said. They flashed their badges to the guard at the door on the way out. "What is it?" 

"I want him to stay with me." 

"Mulder, notwithstanding the fact that you swept your apartment and found enough equipment in there to start your own electronics company, your place is too small and too well-known." 

"I'm not letting him out of my sight, Scully. Tell Skinner if he stays with me he'll be saving the American taxpayers untold thousands of dollars." 

"Why is this so important to you?" 

"I owe him, Scully. He's my responsibility." 

"Not any more. There are people whose job it is to take care of governmental witnesses." 

"He saved my life, Scully, on more than one occasion. He put himself on the line for _me_ , not anyone else. I could have shot him on sight�" 

"No, you couldn't. He knew that." 

"Maybe. But I had very little reason�or thought that I did�not to want him dead. He trusted me with his life, too. I've got to follow up on this." 

She shook her head. "Fine. But _you_ get to talk to Skinner about it." 

"Home sweet home." 

Mulder held the door open, fighting the urge to have Alex lean on him for the final walk over to the couch. He'd been hovering over the man for so long, he was starting to wonder if having him stay here was such a good idea. But he also knew that he couldn't have him stay anywhere else, with anyone else, until this whole thing was over. What he'd told Scully was the truth, or most of it: Alex Krycek was his responsibility. "You want something to drink? Or eat? Are you tired? I made the bed up�" 

"Mulder, I'm fine, really. Just relax, okay?" Those green eyes smiled at him, amused. 

He nodded his head and closed the apartment door, bringing Alex's single bag into the bedroom. He checked the window there and saw, to his relief, the two unmarked cars of their babysitters out there. That, and the double guards posted on the door, would make sure that no-one touched either of them before they were able to testify. 

_As if there was anyone left to be worried about,_ he thought, and dropped the bag. Life on the run hadn't treated Alex very well� all he owned in the world were the clothes he'd been wearing when he met Mulder that night�was it only six days ago? It hardly seemed possible that the world could have changed so quickly. He'd brought him some of his own clothes to wear home from the hospital. _Home._ He threw his own jacket into the closet and went back into the living room. 

Alex was standing beside the window, peering out of the blinds. 

"That might not be the safest place in the world." 

He turned, and smiled. "Yeah, I know. Just looking for the backup." 

_Once an FBI agent, always an FBI agent._ "You want some dinner? 'cause I'm famished." 

"Sure. You cooking?" 

"Are you crazy?" He opened the desk drawer closest to his phone and pulled out a handful of flyers. "Chinese, Italian, pizza?" 

"You choose." 

He grabbed the flyer from the best Chinese place he knew and went to phone in an order. As Alex turned away from the window, they brushed past each other, a move which seemed to Mulder to be electrically charged. Alex glanced at him, then went back to the couch and sat, turning on the television. He stood there with the phone in his hand for a good three minutes before he remembered what he was doing and dialled the number. Even as he spoke, a single thought was running through his mind� _What the hell was that?_

The government inquest, including their testimony, was broadcast live on cable, although not many people probably watched it outside of Washington insiders, interested conspiracy theorists, and those directly involved. In a suit and with his hair cut short again, Alex looked even younger than he had when Mulder first met him, everywhere except for his eyes. He testified for five days in a row, refuting all attempts to discredit him, taking the blame on himself at times, and proving to be an impeccable witness. The chief counsel personally congratulated him when he'd finished. 

They spent days and nights together, almost inseparable. It became a running joke in the Bureau that Mulder and Krycek were joined at the hip�nobody saw one without the other for weeks. There was speculation on lower levels about their relationship, but most people agreed that "Spooky" Mulder was too obsessed with his job to even acknowledge sex as a form of physical gratification� unless there was an alien involved, of course. 

Their lives revolved between the office of the X-Files, the room that the inquest was held in, and Mulder's apartment. They'd offered Alex witness relocation, but he'd turned it down, much to Mulder's relief. Small things like that were continuing to play on his mind� why this man, more than anyone else, had come to mean so much to him in such a short amount of time. He realized how closely they were connected, but there didn't seem any way around it�Alex could help him find out what he needed to know, and he was helping him, every day. He never wanted it to end. 

But there were other things, too, beyond the work. There were looks that Alex gave him that he couldn't decipher, and the pleasure that he seemed to afford from things that shouldn't even have concerned him. They became more and more comfortable around each other, unconsciously; but consciously, it was starting to bug the hell out of him. 

Finally, one night, after a long day testifying, he had to ask. They were back home, and had polished off most of a lasagna and a couple of bottles of beer. Mulder looked over at Alex, curled up against the corner of the couch, and asked, "What's going on here?" 

"What do you mean?" Alex said, but his tone gave Mulder the idea he probably knew exactly what he meant. 

"Between us. What is it? I can feel something between us, but I don't know what it is. Talk to me." 

"I'm in love with you," he said, not looking at him. He put the beer down on the table in front on him and stared at it. 

"Alex�" 

"Look, you don't have to say anything. I wouldn't even have told you, except you asked me directly." He sighed. "I guess I just wanted you to know before I left." 

"Left?" 

He nodded. "I got an apartment today. We're more than halfway through the inquiry. If they wanted to do something to me, they've have more than enough chance already. You don't need to babysit me anymore." 

Mulder nodded, mutely. It was true, there wasn't any good reason for Alex to stay there any longer. So why did the fact that Alex didn't need him any more bother him so much? 

"I really appreciate you letting me stay here, Mulder. I've enjoyed it. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable just now�" 

"It's okay. You didn't." 

Alex nodded. "Good. I've got my stuff packed up, and I can go in the morning. They've assigned a guard to me, and he and I will be moving into my new place then." He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'll be glad to have this place to yourself again." He stood up and took his empty bottle into the kitchen, then walked over to the bedroom. "Goodnight." 

"Alex�" 

He turned, leaning against the doorway. Mulder couldn't remember how many times he'd seen Alex there, just as he was, smiling that half-smile at him. What was worse, he couldn't remember _not_ seeing him there, or somewhere in the small apartment. He found the thought of not seeing him there again very unsettling, but all he said was, "Goodnight." 

Alex smiled. "Goodnight," he said again, and turned back towards the bedroom, then stopped himself, and looked back at Mulder, with an indecipherable look on his face. Then, seeming to make up his mind about something, he walked over to where Mulder was sitting, bent his head, and kissed him. 

The brush of his lips was soft and warm, and Mulder found himself opening his mouth to deepen the kiss almost automatically. Alex tasted good, the slightest tang of the beer still in his mouth, along with the sweeter taste of himself underneath. Their tongues touched almost shyly, then retreated, and Alex broke the kiss. He smiled at Mulder, his lips wet and slightly reddened, and went into the bedroom. 

Mulder stayed awake all that night on the couch, staring unseeing at the television, feeling the touch of those lips for hours after Alex had fallen asleep. 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	2. Alex

 

Alex

  
**Alex  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
The tv flickered, something innocuous, something for three in the morning. Flowbee, probably, or make thousands in your spare time. He never watched that. 

He had missed the end of "War of the Worlds." Video just wasn't the same; tv had an immediacy. You had to be somewhere at that time, it was a date, a time, something tangible. _Great,_ he thought. _My reality is now determined by TV Guide._

Still, he had fallen asleep before the end. Or, rather, _they_ had fallen asleep. _His_ warm body was curved precariously near the edge of the sofa, but he slept on, completely unaware. They were tangled together, his arm curved around Alex's waist, back-to-chest, although the evening hadn't started out like that. They had necked like teenagers for a while, before Alex suddenly pulled away, giggling, and flipped around in front of him. 

"What?" he asked, brushing his lips against the mussed hair. 

"I'm missing the movie." 

"You've never seen this before?" 

"Not since I was a kid." The voice was soft. "I don't remember how it ends." 

"We win." 

"Well, duh." Mulder snorted at that. "You know what I mean." 

He did know, too. They had brushed up against that dark place again, almost getting caught up, carried away. They could have stepped over at any time in the last six weeks, but they didn't, always coming so close to the edge, before one of them pulled back. Somehow he thought that once he knew that Alex loved him, that it would be different� easier�but it wasn't. They were taking it slow�too slow?� but neither one of them had completely dropped their defenses. Or rather, one had, but the other- 

"Damn." 

"Hunh?" Sleep-slurred noise, then Alex rolled�the wrong way. Mulder reached out an arm and pulled him back, close, before he fell off the couch. 

"You need a bigger couch." 

"I need a lot of things." The head twisted, a bloodshot eye peeked up at him. "The bed's free." 

"Yeah." Alex had crashed there many times, crawling into the previously seldom-used bed when he was too tired to go back to his apartment. Mulder usually kept him there late on purpose, he liked knowing he was there. He had fought Alex's leaving, but there wasn't really a valid reason that he could give for him not to move out once the indictments were put into motion. He was simply too high-profile to hurt now, so he couldn't argue that he needed protection anymore. And there wasn't any other reason - 

Alex turned and pressed hard against him. The kiss was fleeting. Then he pulled himself away and headed for the bedroom. He turned in the doorway. 

"I missed the end of the movie, again." 

"So did I. We probably won." 

Alex smiled, tiredly. "Yeah." 

He had no idea why he'd agreed to this. Parties were interminable to him in the best of circumstances, but an _FBI_ party�the whole concept was just so wrong. Still, Scully had nagged him into going, and Scully never nagged unless it was important. The case was wrapping up so well, and the shockwaves were still reverberating. Cancerman dead, the others dead or rounded up�it was big news. The world had changed. 

A party seemed almost distasteful, but it wasn't celebrating death, it was the annual Christmas party. This was the first time he could actually conceive of going�the atmosphere around "Spooky Mulder" had changed at the Bureau. Respect, hard-earned, was trickling it's way down to him. Reluctantly, in spite of himself, he was enjoying the feeling. 

So he was going. And not only that, Alex was going, too. 

Wow. 

"Pretty good, huh?" He blinked, and Scully smiled at him, her eyes sparkling. She looked great. Not just great, but, to corner a stereotype, she looked _fabulous._ Rich, green velvet, wicked-looking heels, hair swept up�and her smile was infectious. And at her side�what?�Skinner. In a tux. Hand on her arm. 

The world really was coming to an end. 

"Everybody's here. I can't believe who's crawled out of their holes to come here tonight." Mulder shot her a glance, but she was busy scanning the crowd. She grabbed his arm. "Isn't that Emily Green?" she asked, directing him with her eyes. "I didn't know she was back from Canada." Then, before he could stop her, she was crossing over to where the tall, stunning agent was standing. 

Emily Green. Great, that was all that he needed tonight. A flash of memory brought him back to a night almost four years ago, a night he spent with Emily Green at a computer terminal that nearly�nearly�turned into a much more meaningful encounter. 

Before he knew it, the green-eyed blonde was standing at his side. "Fox Mulder," she smiled, and reached out a hand. "It's been a long time. I can't believe I'm seeing you at one of these things. Still, with the year you've been having, this should be a celebratory bash for the X-Files alone. So, are you joining us on the stag line?" At his puzzled look, she explained, "All of us poor unfortunates alone at this professional function." 

"Well, I�" Before he could get any further, behind him he heard a familiar voice saying, "Scully, wow, you look incredible." 

"I wish people wouldn't keep saying that like it was such an unbelievable effort on my part, Krycek," she sighed. "If I had known I'd get such a reaction, I would have worn a suit." 

"Well, you would have looked wonderful even if you had," he assured her. "But still, wow�" 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she laughed. "I've heard all I want to, for the moment. You clean up real nice, too, Alex." 

This final remark startled Mulder. He couldn't remember ever having heard Scully call Krycek by his first name. Their conversation continued. 

"So, which one of these guys won your hand for the evening? Or are you on the prowl?" 

He could hear her mock-glare, and struggled with a smile. Then Alex said, more seriously, "Ah, sir, good evening." 

"Krycek." Dryly put, succinct. Mulder winced. Then, to Scully, "So, do we dare risk a dance at a public function?" 

Mulder had been aware that his superior and his partner had been developing their friendship over the past few months, and vaguely recalled a few lunches taken together, but he was only now starting to put things together. 

"I think we dare," Scully replied. 

"Agent Mulder?" Emily Green's voice startled him back. 

"Sorry. Lost in space there for a moment," he apologized. 

She smiled. "So, are you seeing anyone?" 

"I�um�" 

"I only ask because office gossip has shifted away from you and Dana," she lowered her voice conspiratorially. At his smile, she continued. "The secretarial pool still has great hopes for you." 

At this he smirked, "Well, hope springs eternal." 

She laughed. "I suppose I sound like every other married woman trying to pair up the poor unfortunate unattached." 

"I didn't realize you were married." 

"Wow, you are out of the gossip loop, aren't you? I got married about a year ago. He's not with the bureau, thank god, although for as much as I see him, he might as well be. He's a doctor." 

"Nice, low-key profession." 

"Yes, I'm learning that. Well, I'd better not monopolize your time any more tonight. The vultures are starting to circle." 

"Help," he said weakly. 

"You'll be fine, Mulder. Nothing compared to what you've been up against this year." 

_I'm not so sure,_ he thought, as she walked away. Drawing a deep breath, he turned around. 

Alex was standing a few feet away from him. He was dressed similarly to Mulder himself, a dark tux, white shirt, but with no tie. It wasn't his outfit that drew Mulder towards him, though�it was the look in his eyes. He looked lost. 

"I shouldn't have come," he said, without looking at Mulder. 

"We can leave." 

"No, you shouldn't. Scully was right, this is your night. You should gloat a little. Get back at the bastards." 

"I couldn't care less," he said. "If you want to leave, we leave." 

At this, Alex looked at him for the first time. He could see the sincerity in Mulder's eyes and visibly relaxed. "I just feel like any minute someone's going to put the cuffs on me and hustle me away. 'Hide in plain sight' sort of thing." 

"Except that you're not hiding anymore." 

"I guess I'm just too used to it to get over it so fast." He looked around. "I don't even think I know anyone here." 

"I'm here, and Scully." 

Alex smiled. "Yes, Scully. It's a revelation, isn't it?" 

Mulder wasn't sure if he was talking about the outfit or Skinner, but he agreed anyway. "There must be someone else�" 

At that, a hand came around and clapped Alex on the back. "Alex, god, I can't believe you're here." 

Alex was pulled into a hug by a big guy, solid, dark hair. _Donovan,_ Mulder thought to himself. 

"Bren," Alex said, with a laugh, "I'm having trouble breathing." 

"Aw, sorry, Alex. It's just so good to see you. I was expecting a visit sooner." 

"Well, I've been somewhat low-profile for the last" two years "little while." He turned to his side. "I'm sorry, Mulder, do you know Brendan Donovan?" 

"We met a couple of years ago at VC." He reached out a hand. "Donovan." 

"Of course everyone knows Fox Mulder. Amazing case you're wrapping up. I'm looking forward to the trickle-down." He turned back to Alex. "You look well, Alex. How are you doing?" 

"Can't complain," he said. "Life's gotten a whole lot better, lately." He shot a quick glance at Mulder. 

Deciding Alex was okay catching up with this old� friend?�Mulder turned towards the dance floor. A few of the "vultures" were indeed making broad circles around him, and he decided to fan the gossip flames a little by cutting in on Scully and Skinner. 

"May I?" 

"Certainly, Agent Mulder, if it's all right with the lady." 

"I'd be honored." 

Once they started to dance, Mulder said, "So, what's with the new Scully this evening?" 

"What do you mean, Mulder?" 

"The clothes, the attitude, the date�" 

"It's not a date," she protested. 

"Not officially, maybe," he said, "but he's acting like a date." 

She smiled. "Well, I guess," she agreed. "I decided to make my New Year's resolution early this year." 

"And what is it?" 

"To take more time for the things that are important. I mean, the things we do, the work, the search, they're important, but they're not the only things." 

Mulder nodded. 

"I can't remember the last time I had dinner with my mother, for goodness' sake. And we're supposed to be close. And as for Assistant Director Skinner�" Mulder raised his eyebrows at that "we are just friends. For now." 

They danced a little while longer in silence, and then Scully said, "So, what's with the old Mulder?" 

"What?" 

"You know. I thought things were progressing between you two. But this past week you've been tense and moody, even for you." She looked over at Krycek. "Alex seems to have found a friend." 

Mulder glanced over, and then back, but she had caught him. "Ha! That was a jealous look, if ever I saw one. Mulder, Donovan's married�" 

"And I'm straight, according to the grapevine. What does that mean?" 

"Why are you so worried? Has something happened?" 

"No." _Absolutely nothing,_ he thought. 

"Ah," she said, perceptively. "Are you going to end it?" 

_It hasn't even begun yet._ "I don't know." 

"Mulder, I'm sorry. I wish I could give you some advice, but I'm not much better than you at this stuff." 

_At least you're taking a chance._ "It's okay, Scully. I've cried on your shoulder enough about this. I can't get anyone else to make this decision for me, no matter how much I try." 

"It'll be okay," she said, as they walked off the dance floor. "As long as you do what you need. Trust your instincts. I do." 

They stayed at the party much longer than they had intended. Brendan Donovan's approach to Krycek had seemed to open a gate of old acquaintances who greeted the redeemed former agent. Mulder, too, had been engaged by a number of people anxious to talk shop, and a few 'vultures' braved a dance invitation, two of which he accepted. The evening was a success. 

Well, a qualified success, anyway. Having drank a bit too much, Mulder decided to take advantage of the evening's car service. He pulled Krycek into the back with him. 

Alex, too, was feeling no pain. He settled into a light doze as soon as he hit the seat, so when the driver asked for the address, Mulder just gave his own. 

"C'mon, Krycek, time for bed." 

"Promises, promises," Alex mumbled, and unsteadily pulled himself out of the back of the car. 

They made it into the apartment, and Alex weaved his way to the bedroom before Mulder could even turn on a light. He smiled when he realized that Alex knew the way even in the dark. He followed him in to see if he needed anything. 

Alex had pulled off his jacket and collapsed on the bed. Too much to drink, a late evening, and too much socializing had taken its toll on him. Mulder reached over to pull off his shoes and started undoing the shirt when Alex rolled over and buried his face into the pillow. He was fast asleep. 

"I hope that's not a rental," Mulder murmured. He was going to leave, but instead sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out a hand to touch Alex's back, surprised at the heat that he felt. Alex was always a study in extremes, temperature-wise, either he was an oven, or he was freezing. There was no middle ground, except when they slept together on the couch, and Mulder modulated him. They complemented each other. 

"I could have my way with you, you know," he murmured, leaning over to place a kiss on Alex's neck. "And you wouldn't even fight me off. So why don't I?" 

With the unanswered question in the air, he snapped off the bedside lamp and went out to the couch. 

A smell of fresh coffee woke him the next morning, but he didn't open his eyes right away. Alex was in the room with him, he could sense him, and he played possum, wanting to see what he would do. Slitting his eyes an imperceptible bit, he watched. 

He was sitting across from him, sipping some coffee, flipping through, of all things, an old 'Lone Gunman'. The tv was off. Mulder had fallen asleep to it, as usual, and Alex must have shut it off when he got up. He was showered� his hair still wet�shaved, and dressed in some of Mulder's casual clothes�a pair of jeans that were just a little too long and tight for him and a t-shirt. Mulder vaguely wondered what time it was. 

After about ten minutes, Alex had finished his coffee and went into the kitchen. When he came back in, he took a long look at Mulder, then strode into the bedroom, coming out with his tux on a hanger and a borrowed jacket in his hands. When he leaned over Mulder for a goodbye kiss, the prone man unexpectedly grabbed his wrist and pulled him down on the couch. The jacket and tux slid to the floor. 

"How long have you been awake?" Alex asked, a little breathless. 

"Little while," Mulder mumbled into his ear. 

Alex pulled back, a strange look on his face. "I'm not sure if that means you don't trust me, or you do." 

Mulder was silent. Alex reached down for the dropped clothes and attempted to pull himself off the couch. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Home. Gotta drop this thing off," he said, indicating the tux, "and change. I'll bring these back tomorrow, I guess." 

"You've got something planned for today?" It was Saturday, no work, and they usually did something together \- a movie, something on tv, the gym, or lunch out somewhere. 

"Bren�Donovan," Alex quickly amended, "he invited me over for dinner. Meet the wife sort of thing. It seemed like such a normal, suburban type thing to do that I said yes." 

"Ah," Mulder said. "'Bren.'" 

"Do you want to ask me something, Mulder?" Alex asked, suddenly tense. "I kept getting these strange looks from you all night, and now this. What do you want to know?" 

"What do you want to tell me?" 

"Brendan Donovan has been a friend of mine since high school. Just a friend, but a good one. He told me last night that he _knew_ that the charges against me were false, but, of course, he couldn't get a hold of me to help." He paused, then said, "Now, would you like a list of the people that I'm sleeping with? Alphabetical? Chronological? By gender? What?" 

Mulder was struck by the question, then he realized that he _knew_ that Alex wasn't sleeping with anyone�he recognized the sexual tension every time they were anywhere near each other. It wasn't just desire they both felt, it was frustration. It had been a long time, for both of them. 

He was about to apologize when Alex collapsed on the floor in a heap. His head in his hands, he mumbled, "I am so tired, Mulder. I've been running for such a long time that I didn't think I could stop. But I have stopped, and now, I don't know what's going on here. I know this isn't easy for you�I know you don't have any experience with men� maybe I should just go. Maybe we shouldn't see each other any more. I mean, I'm willing to wait as long as you need, but if it's just hurting both of us maybe we should just stop." 

"No," Mulder said. "No. This is my problem�" 

"It involves both of us. Don't keep shutting me out." 

He sighed. "I'm not used to this Alex, it's true, but it's not just that I've never been with a guy before�although that is big�but I've never been good at relationships with anyone. The best union I've ever managed has been with Scully�" 

"I always wondered about you two." 

"You know we're just friends." 

"Yeah, but, didn't you ever just wonder?" 

"Yeah. Maybe, if the timing had been better, or if we weren't working together, or if I hadn't fallen in love with you �" 

Alex gasped. He had known, he recognized it in Mulder at almost the same time he realized it in himself, but he was almost certain that he'd never hear the words coming out of the man in front of him. He felt tears start in his eyes and looked down, trying to blink them away. 

Mulder cupped his chin and raised the face until their eyes were level. "We have to stop hiding from each other, Alex. I love you. I want to be with you. Stay." He swallowed, hard. "Please." 

With a strangled cry and tears he couldn't stop, Alex pushed himself onto the couch, into Mulder's arms. "Shh, it's okay, we're okay," he could hear whispered over and over, but he couldn't stop trembling. "You are exhausted, Alex. Let me take you to bed." 

"No," Alex protested, "I want to be with you." 

"You will be," Mulder assured him. "Come on." 

They slowly made their way into the bedroom, clinging desperately to each other. They peeled away their clothes, leaving only the underwear, and slid into the bed, holding each other. 

"God, I want to touch you," Alex whispered. 

"Later," Mulder said, stilling his movements. "You need to sleep now. We have lots of time." 

And, curled up in the bed together, they both slept. 

When Mulder awoke, it was late afternoon. The winter sky peeking through the blinds was showing a rapidly darkening gray. He looked down to the man cradled in his arms and smiled. "How long have you been awake?" 

"Little while." 

"Does that mean�" 

"That means that I absolutely trust you," Alex reassured him. "And it means that you are beautiful when you're asleep. I hardly ever get to see that." 

Mulder was about to return the compliment when Alex suddenly pulled out of his arms and the bed. He raced out of the room muttering "Shitshitshit" under his breath. 

Curious, he followed him out of the room to find him running through the pockets of his discarded tux, still on the floor. "Ah," he said, pulling out a crumpled napkin. "Phone, please." 

Mystified, Mulder gave him the cell phone. The phone call put him at ease. 

"Bren? It's Alex. I'm sorry, I completely lost track of time�No, no, don't hold dinner for me�Bren, I'm going to have to take a raincheck�I'm sorry, something's come up" Mulder snorted, and Alex leered at him "and I'm going to have to�What? Yeah, something like that�Oh, next weekend would be great, I promise�Okay, I'll call you on Thursday, okay, and firm it up? Great, great, apologize to Susan for me, okay�Thanks, Bren, bye." 

"Something like what?" Mulder asked. 

"I told Bren that I was sort of seeing someone last night \- he's been fixing me up ever since he got his first serious girlfriend. What is it with people who are involved, anyway? They can't seem to leave everyone else alone." 

Mulder smiled at that. "I don't know, misery loves company?" 

"Probably," Alex agreed. "Anyway, I wanted to dissuade him from trying it again. I can't believe that I almost forgot about dinner." 

"Well," Mulder said, "we _were_ kind of involved." 

Alex blushed at that. "Do you realize," he said, getting up and walking over to Mulder, "that ever since you told me that you love me, we haven't even kissed?" 

"We haven't?" Alex shook his head. "Well, we'd better, hadn't we? Make things official." 

With that, Mulder wrapped his arms around Alex's waist and drew him close. They closed the distance between their mouths with a deep, passionate kiss. When they drew back and had caught their breath, Mulder asked, with a deceptively straight face, "So, what do you want to do now?" 

Trying to hide crushing disappointment and failing miserably, Alex replied, "Uh, well, I don't know. You?" 

"I think that I want to take you into the bedroom and make love to you. How does that sound?" 

"You are a cruel man, Fox Mulder. Don't ever scare me like that again." 

"I promise," Mulder agreed. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, and then Alex shivered. Mulder realized that they were standing in the middle of the apartment in just their underwear. Taking a deep breath, he took Alex's hand and led him back into the bedroom. He started for the bed, but Alex stayed in the doorway. 

"Honestly, Mulder, we don't have to do this yet, if you're not ready." 

"You don't want to?" 

"Are you kidding? After six weeks of drooling over you and having an exclusive relationship with the Palm sisters every night?" Mulder laughed out loud, and Alex did, too, joining him to sit on the bed. "Are you sure?" he asked, after a minute. 

"I'm sure." 

The look in his eyes was so naked and honest, as if he had just realized that he _did_ want this, that Alex had to look away. He turned to close the blinds, then turned on the bedside lamp. 

"What�" Mulder asked, indicating the light. 

"I want to see you. All of you." And with that, he came back over to Mulder's side and pulled him down on the bed. They were facing each other, stroking each other's chests, arms, a cheek, a thigh, and all the while kissing so deeply that Alex though he'd come in his underwear. "Whoa," he said, pulling back, "this is a little too fast." 

"We have all night," Mulder teased, nuzzling his earlobe. "We can do it again, if we like it." 

"If? Damn, Mulder, I'm at least going to be naked before I come. And so are you." He quickly shed his underwear, then reached down for the other man's waistband and pulled the boxers off him. The urgent erection that had been pressing against him was freed. Christ, it was beautiful, and big�the biggest one he'd yet encountered. This was going to be fun. 

He hadn't realized he had gasped until Mulder pulled him up for another kiss. "You okay?" he asked. 

"I'm more than okay," Alex asked, then slid his tongue down the other man's chest, pushing him back onto the bed as he did so. He pushed himself down until he was faced with that gorgeous penis, waiting for him, and engulfed it with his mouth. He felt the immediate tension of Mulder losing control, and pulled back. He smiled at his "Jesus" delivered through clenched teeth, and paused, considering. Making a decision, he wet two fingers in his mouth and then slid back onto Mulder, taking him deep in his throat. Reaching around with his hand, he plunged the two wet fingers deep into Mulder's tight ass, pushing hard. He came in a torrent, barely muffling a scream, hands desperately twisted into the sheets. He gushed into Alex's waiting mouth, his complete release and the friction of the mattress triggering Alex's own climax. 

Finally sated, Alex reluctantly pulled himself off of Mulder, pulling his fingers out of him and kissing his relaxing penis. He rolled off and collapsed beside him on the bed. The only sound to be heard was their laboured breathing. 

"My god, Alex - 

"I've waited such a long time�" 

They both spoke at the same time, stopped, and started again. With a laugh, Mulder pulled him up closer, and brought the blanket up around him. Alex tried to pull away, unsuccessfully. 

"Where do you think you're going?" 

"Just to get a towel. I came all over the bed, and your leg, and�" 

"Leave it. I think the bed's going to get a whole lot messier before this night is over, don't you?" 

"Yeah, I guess so," Alex's voice was husky, and he relaxed back into Mulder's arms. 

Needing desperately to taste him, Mulder pushed Alex onto his back and loomed over him. He couldn't even wait to let the man rest, and he realized with a start that he was getting aroused again, just looking at him. His beautiful eyes, and that mouth�relaxed, soft�the damp, tousled hair \- he was transfixed. He brought his mouth gently down to Alex's, plunging in deeply, claiming it as his. "You're mine, you know," he said, when he had the strength to draw away. 

"I know," Alex nodded. "Completely yours." Suddenly overcome with an unaccustomed shyness, he looked away. "Anything you want, Mulder�I'll do anything." 

"I want to feel you, all of you. I want to be in you. Now." 

Mutely, Alex, stared at him, reaching to stroke his nipples. Rising up for another kiss, he wordlessly gave his permission. "Do you, uh, have any lubricant?" 

"Damn, I don't think so." 

"Don't worry. I'll find something." Alex did pull away then, and Mulder stared at him, at the strong, muscled back, and then lower, to the unbelievably arousing sight of the naked curve of his ass. 

"Perfect," he called, coming out of the bathroom with a little bottle of massage oil, a couple of towels, and a smile on his face. 

"I forgot all about that. I don't even know why I kept it. It was a sample in the mail." 

"You must have known you'd have a use for it, someday." Alex handed the bottle over to him, and climbed back into the bed. "How do you want me?" he asked. 

"I have no idea," Mulder said, when actually faced with the reality of his request. 

"I'll decide, then. I think I want to be on my back in front of you. That way I can see you when you come inside me." 

"God, Alex�" 

"Shh," he shushed him with a kiss. "I want it, too. No more breaking your promises." 

"You'll have to help me out here, Alex. I don't want to hurt you." 

"I know that you'd never hurt me on purpose, Fox." Mulder's eyes glowed green at the mention of his name, but he liked it. Coming from Alex, here, now, it was a caress. He kissed him. "Lucky for us both, I'm not a virgin. Otherwise," he reached for Mulder's swelling erection, "I don't think we'd be able to do this the first time." 

"Well, I _am_ a virgin, at least when it comes to this. What do I do?" 

"Use a lot of the oil, on you and on me. Then, well, go slow, at the beginning. I'll let you know if you're doing it right." He reached around and pushed the pillows together at the head of the bed, then leaned back against them. He beckoned Mulder closer with his hands, grasping him and pulling him in for a kiss, then snaked his legs around the agent's slim waist. Mulder fumbled with the oil bottle, then steadied himself and poured a generous amount into his hands, slicking the warming liquid over his almost painful erection. He thrust first one finger, then two into Alex's impossibly small opening, feeling him stretch to accommodate the invading digits. 

Lost in the vision of his hand inside Alex, he was startled to hear his voice. 

"Mulder? Are you all right?" 

"Sorry," he shook his head, as if clearing his brain. "I'm just losing myself in all of this." 

"Good. Now how about losing yourself in me?" 

It was all the invitation he needed. Slowly, carefully, and not a little afraid, he pushed gently against the small hole. The head slipped inside, and he paused. Seeing Alex's encouraging smile, he started to push, a little at a time, until he was completely inside. Then he collapsed on top of Alex, giving their bodies a chance to accommodate each other. His head was on Alex's chest, and he could hear the reassuring, quick thrum of his accelerated heartbeat. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. 

"You feel wonderful," Alex breathed, "keep going." 

The familiar rhythm started then, not so different from what he'd experienced before, with women, but somehow startlingly different. Alex was so warm, so responsive, his moans, his hands, egging him on further, faster. He brushed away Alex's hands at his own erection and settled into a rhythm himself, intent on staving off his own release until after Alex was satisfied. The rhythm was reassuringly familiar, relying on what he himself enjoyed, and he felt, and saw, the pleasure he was giving Alex. His eyes were closed, he was panting, but there was no sign of pain on his face�just unbelievable delight, joy, happiness. Suddenly Mulder stopped, and leaned forward, lying atop the prone man. 

"What?" Alex asked, eyes wide with concern. 

"You said you wanted to see me when I come in you. You'd better keep your eyes open." He plunged his tongue into Alex's mouth again, biting the already swollen lips. 

"Absolutely." 

Mulder pulled back, then, and resumed stroking Alex and pushing inside him. Gentleness was forgotten in the heat of their lust, and he knew that it wouldn't be long. He couldn't care anymore if he was hurting him, he just had to push, harder, faster - 

Alex came with a cry, spurting his semen over his stomach, his chest. The tightness around Mulder's cock was too much, then, and he felt his climax being forcibly wrenched from his body. He couldn't remember ever coming so much, especially not the second time in such a short period. 

He pulled out, sated, feeling completely boneless, and rolled over at Alex's side. He couldn't open his eyes, he couldn't even seem to breathe, and all he wanted to do was just lie there forever, not moving, not thinking. 

Finally, he opened his eyes when he heard a small sound coming from beside him. Alex was crying. 

"Alex? God, I hurt you, I'm so sorry, Alex, please�" 

"No," Alex said. "You didn't hurt me." 

"What then?" 

"Hold me." It was almost a question, instead of a request. He immediately pulled Alex deep into his arms, feeling the stickiness of his semen join their bodies together. Alex continued to cry for a few minutes, and Mulder felt completely helpless. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. It was just so�" 

"Wild, I know, Alex. I'm sorry. I just lost myself in you, like you said. I couldn't control what I was doing. I just wanted to feel more and more of you around me, and I couldn't�" 

A warm mouth surrounded his, cutting off his apology mid-stream. "Fox," the caress was there again. "You said you were lost inside me. Well, having you there was the first time that I can remember feeling completely safe, and warm, and _real_ in years. Maybe ever." 

"And that's the reason for the tears?" 

"I just don't know what I'll ever do when you're gone." 

"I'm not going anywhere." 

"It's just going to be so hard, you don't know, you've never had to do it before. I have, I know." 

"So we get through it together." 

"I want to believe that." 

Mulder laughed. Alex looked at him, puzzled, then rolled his eyes and hit him with a pillow. "Aliens would be easier, you know." 

"Maybe," he said with a grin, and then, more soberly, "I don't know what's going to happen to us, Alex. All I know is that I love you and I want to be with you. And I want that to be enough for you. I don't want to hide and I don't want to feel guilty, and, frankly, I don't even want to think about all the bad stuff right now." Alex looked at him in amazement. "Hey, can't 'Spooky' take the night off and let Fox out to play?" 

"Definitely. It's great to see him." Relaxing against Mulder's chest, he asked, "So, what do you want to think about?" 

"Dinner. I'm starved." 

"Mulder!" 

"Well, admit it, aren't you the least bit hungry?" Alex raised an eyebrow lewdly, but Mulder just groaned. "C'mon, now, neither one of us is seventeen. Three times in a row would be pushing into Guinness territory." 

"Okay, but I hope you don't want to go out somewhere, 'cause I don't think I can handle dressing tonight." 

"No, take-out is fine with me." 

They decided on Chinese and called in a huge order. It would take forty-five minutes to arrive. 

They were heating up the shower when Mulder heard his cell phone ring. Reluctantly pulling himself from Alex's embrace, he went to answer it. 

"Mulder." 

"Hi, Mulder, it's just me," Scully's voice answered him. 

"Oh, damn, it's not work, is it?" 

"It's good to hear from you, too, Mulder." 

"I'm sorry, Scully. How are you?" 

"I'm fine, Mulder, how are you?" 

"Fine." Pause. "It's not work, is it?" 

She snorted. "No. I was just concerned. I didn't want you to mope around your apartment all weekend, and I wondered if you wanted to get something to eat?" 

"Well, actually, Scully�I, I'm a little tied up at the moment." 

"Handcuffs or rope?" 

"Scully!" He was too flustered to even make one of his rude comments. 

"I'm kidding, Mulder. Still, I assume that you've got your situation, um, well in hand?" 

"You're stealing all my best lines, Scully." 

"What can I say, I've been taking notes." 

"I knew you weren't writing reports the entire time you sit at your computer. You realize that I'm going to have to hack in, now, don't you?" 

"As if you could. My personal security measures include a burly guy named Vinnie who comes out and breaks the kneecaps of anyone who even turns on my computer." 

"Vinnie, huh? I thought his first name was Wal�" 

"Don't go there, Mulder." 

Even her 'stern voice' over the _phone_ made him behave. "Yes, ma'am." 

"Now, be a good boy and go keep Alex company. And, Mulder?" 

"Yes?" 

"Are you happy?" 

"Yes, I am," he said, with an enormous sigh of relief. 

"Good. Tell Alex that if he ever hurts you I will personally kick his butt." 

"That'll scare the hell out of him." 

"That's the point. 'Night, Mulder." 

"'Night, Scully. Thanks." 

The shower spray was warm when he stepped in and wrapped his arms around Alex's waist, sighing against his back. 

"It wasn't work, was it?" 

"No," he smiled. "Just Scully, checking up." 

"Oh," Alex said. "Did you tell her about us?" 

"Yeah," Mulder answered, then turned him around. "That was okay, wasn't it? I mean, I didn't even ask you if you wanted to tell people, but she's known that we've been getting closer, and I just thought�or didn't think�" 

He was cut off by warm lips against his own. "It's great. We can spray paint it on the side of the Hoover building if you want to." 

"Can we really?" Wheels were turning, and Alex looked worried. "Bright pink?" 

"Bad Mulder! No! Promise me!" 

"Okay, okay. God, I wonder what my mother's going to say." 

"She'll hate it?" 

"I have no idea. We may never find out. She tends to be pretty closed-mouthed and unemotional." 

"Gee, are you sure you aren't adopted?" 

"Funny. You can't say I've been unemotional lately. Or closed-mouthed, either." 

"No," Alex agreed. "I like it. You should do it more often." 

Somehow, they managed to finish their shower cleaner than when they started. Mulder tossed sweats over for Alex to wear, and pulled some loose jeans and a light sweater on himself. They surveyed the damage done to the bed, stripped it down and remade it for that night. Then they wandered into the living room, collapsed on the couch in each other's arms. Mulder flipped the tv to a basketball game, but they were soon more engrossed in each other than in anything on the screen. 

The buzz of the door startled them like a couple of kids caught by their parents, but they both laughed when they realized that it was just their food. 

"I can't believe we actually ordered all of this." 

"Hell, after the day we've had, I could eat all of this _myself_." 

"Just a growing boy, eh, Mulder?" Alex said, wickedly, reaching around to pat him on the stomach. "What did you do for exercise before I came along?" 

"Oh, you know, the usual. Chasing bad guys, researching aliens, toppling shadow governments�" 

"Takes a lot out of a guy." 

"Nothing that a good dinner can't make up for." Alex was looking at him like he was an alien himself. "What?" 

"I'm just amazed at the Fox Mulder that I'm getting to know. Where have you been hiding him? Wait a minute." With mock-concern, he turned Mulder around and pulled the neck of his shirt down in the back. After a moment's scrutiny, he let him go. 

"Are you convinced?" 

"Well, not really. I could just be dreaming all of this and wake up in the morning in the silo again." 

"No, you won't. Let me prove it to you." With that, he tackled Alex and they ended up on the floor together in a heap. He covered Alex's body completely, and pinned and helpless, he started to make love to him again. 

"Mulder�" 

"Alex, I love you. You're here, we're both awake, now decide�what do you want? Me or the spring rolls?" 

"Um, both?" 

"Good choice." 

"No!"

Mulder was somewhat used to being awakened in the middle of the night by a nightmare. This time, however, it wasn't his own. 

"Alex? Alex, wake up, it's okay, it's just me, you're safe, I'm here..." 

It was difficult, but he managed to wake the man at his side. Alex looked wild-eyed and terrified, a scared boy chasing monsters that weren't real anymore. 

"What was it about?" 

"What it's always about. I'm running, I'm cold, I can't get warm, I can't stop. The usual." 

"Damn." Instinct made him draw Alex even closer into his arms. "Between the two of us, we should be world experts on nightmares. I wish I knew what to do for you." 

"You do. You're doing it." Alex was almost breathing normally again. "Do you ever think we'll actually get to lead a normal life ever again?" 

"I don't know. What's normal?" 

"Good point. I'm pretty sure most of the world wouldn't think that this particular scene" he indicated Mulder and himself "exactly constituted 'normal.'" 

"Screw 'em." 

"Uh-unh. I'm too tired." He yawned, and Mulder could feel him relaxing back into sleep. "Maybe later." 

The next morning Mulder was awakened not by Alex, but a call from Scully. Instead of good wishes, however, this time it _was_ work. 

"Minnesota. When's the flight?" 

"About three hours. Do you want me to pick you up, or�" 

"No," he looked at the bedroom door. He could make out Alex's leg across the bed. "I'll get a ride." 

"I'm on my way to the office to pick up the files. You stay there and just meet me at the airport." 

"Are you sure? I could come in now." 

"Say good-bye, Mulder. You can read everything on the plane just as easily." 

"Thanks, Scully." 

"'Bye, Mulder." 

"'Bye." 

He walked back into the bedroom. Alex's eyes were open. "Minnesota?" he asked. 

"This time it is work. I'm sorry. There's three deaths they think are attributable to a commune worshipping some sort of sun god�" 

"Say no more. I guess I'll have to get used to this, eh? Being an F.B.I. widow." He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "I _am_ going to have to get used to this, aren't I?" 

"Absolutely. Alex�" the rest of his words were cut off by a kiss. 

"Mmmh?" Alex was attempting to push him back down on the bed. 

"What are you doing?" 

"Um, how can I put this? I'm attempting to have intimate sexual knowledge, with your permission, of course, of your person. Is that graphic enough?" 

"I have to leave soon. Do we have enough time?" 

"I can go as fast, or as slow, as you need. You have no idea what you're in for." 

"I'm looking forward to it." 

Forty-five minutes later, Mulder was stepping out of the shower. Alex lay sprawled across the bed. "Are you going to stay in bed today?" 

"Mm-hmm. I want this picture to haunt you for the entire time you're away." 

"I'll never be able to get any work done." 

"Maybe they'll fire you for incompetence." Alex's eyes gleamed at the suggestion. 

"There's a thought." 

"Nah, that'll never work. They'll just send you for counselling, and then you'll have to confess all the erotic dreams you're having about me, and then they won't know what to do with you." 

"They might commit me. Sexual compulsion." 

"Has it been a problem before?" 

Mulder laughed. "Hardly." He made a face. "Although I was warned of the dangers of too much experimentation." 

"Meaning what, exactly?" 

"Someone suggested my death would involve auto-erotic asphyxiation." 

"Whoa." A pause, then, "Who, exactly?" 

"It's not important. Just something to keep in mind." 

"I don't think I'll be able to think of anything else." 

Two days later, Alex answered the phone. Three am. Of course. 

"Hello?" 

"What are you wearing?" 

"Mulder?" 

"Who else calls you up at three am to ask you what you're wearing?" 

"I'll fax you the list in the morning." 

"Thanks." Pause. "So?" 

"So what?" 

"What _are_ you wearing?" 

A laugh. "Well, at the moment, I'm not wearing anything." 

"Oh, god." 

"You asked. Just me and the covers. You?" 

"A pair of jeans that are becoming tighter by the minute." 

"That's it?" 

"Uh-huh." Pause. "I miss you." 

"Good." 

"Good?"

"Well, it's better to be missed than not to be missed." 

"True. It's much better to be there in person, though." 

"Definitely. How's the case going?" 

"It doesn't seem to be turning into anything, actually. Just a bunch of hyperactive teenagers." 

"Does that mean you'll be coming home soon?" 

"Well, if all goes as I expect, we should be back in D.C. tomorrow night." 

"Well, that was a lot better than I expected." 

"Me, too. I wish we hadn't come in the first place." 

"That goes without saying." 

Another pause. "Alex�" 

"What is it?" 

"Would you�I meant to ask you before I left, but we really didn't have a chance to talk�but, well, would you mind �"

"What, Mulder?" 

"Moving back into my place. I know it seems soon, but I'd really like you to be there when I get in. I need to see you. I want to know where you are. I�" 

"Okay." 

Mulder laughed. "I will never get used to that." 

"To what?" 

"I sweat over asking you things, about telling you things, and you just accept them, and me, at face value." 

"I love you. You don't have to worry about stuff like that. Chances are, I feel the same way you do. I want to be there when you get in." 

"It could be late." 

"I'll wait." 

"I love you." 

"I know. I'll be waiting." 

Twenty hours later, Mulder's flight got in, two hours late. He was practically out of the plane before it touched down. Everything he needed was in his carry-on bag. He looked expectantly at Scully. 

"Mulder, for goodness' sake, get out of here. You're making me anxious. I've never seen you so wired. I thought you were going to offer to fly the plane yourself." 

"I would have, if it would've got us off on time. I hate delays." 

"Just go. I'll get my bag and get a cab. I'll see you at work in the morning." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes." She smiled. "Go, have fun." She called out to his retreating form, "Say hi to Alex for me." 

He waved his reply, not turning around. 

The cab ride took forever. Bounding up the stairs, key in the lock, and�silence. He turned the lights on, called out, but� nothing. No one was there. 

Fighting down his disappointment, Mulder took his bag into the bedroom. The bed was neat, there was no sign of Alex anywhere. Pulling open the closet, he was momentarily heartened to see a few of Alex's clothes on the hangers. Still, where was he? 

He called his old apartment, but there was no answer. It was too late, but he took a chance and dialed Brendan Donovan. 

"'lo," Donovan answered sleepily. 

"Donovan? It's Fox Mulder, sorry to call so late, but I was wondering�do you know where Alex is?" 

"Alex? No, sorry, I don't. Is something wrong?" 

"No, no, nothing like that. We�he�I was supposed to see him, and I can't find him, that's all. I guess we just got our wires crossed." 

"Probably. I was talking to him this afternoon, and he said he was going to set up some sort of a surprise, maybe he got caught up doing that." 

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll probably catch up with him tomorrow. Sorry again." 

"It's okay, Mulder. Let me know if anything's wrong, okay?" 

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure there isn't anything, though. 'Bye."

"'Bye." 

Half an hour later, Mulder was showered and in sweats and a t-shirt, flipping channels. He was startled by a key scraping the lock, but when it opened, it was Alex. 

"Here you are." 

"Where were you?" 

"At the airport. I went to meet your flight, then you were delayed. They said it was going to be an hour, then another, then another, and by the time I got to the right gate, you were in and gone. I met Scully in baggage claim and she told me you had left already. I was going to surprise you." 

"Damn, I'm sorry, Alex." 

"It's not your fault. I should know better than to trust the airlines." 

"You and me both. I felt like I'd be here sooner if I'd've walked. By the time we finally got going, I was about to." 

"Scully told me." 

"It's so good to see you. And," he said, kissing Alex deeply, "even better to feel you." 

"Mmm," Alex moaned, deep in his arms, "more." 

"And more, and more, and more." 

"You know what I want?" 

"I have a few ideas." 

"I'll bet you do." A nuzzle cut off his next words. 

"What?"

"You're distracting me." 

"That was pretty much the idea." 

"How, exactly, did you manage to survive the last few years without a steady sexual outlet?" 

"What makes you think I didn't have a steady sexual outlet?" 

"Ah," Alex said, turning around to kiss Mulder, "so you _were_ ravaging Scully in the basement all that time. I'm jealous." 

"Of me, or her?" 

"Hmm..." 

"Alex?" 

"What?" 

"You never told me what you want." 

"I'm still distracted." 

"Sorry." 

"Unh-huh. This is good distracted. I could kiss you forever. You have great lips." 

"I've never been told that before." 

Alex looked at him incredulously. "Oh, come on." 

"What?" 

"That is undoubtedly your second best feature." 

"Really? What's first?" 

"These," he said, reaching across the nightstand and snagging an object. 

"My glasses?" 

"Oh yes, definitely. There's just something about a man in glasses. Yum." 

"I'm not sure what I think about this conversation." 

"Mull it over and let me know." 

A few more kisses later, Alex asked, "So?" 

"Jury's still out." Another kiss. "All right, I can live with that. So, what _do_ you want?" 

"Wear the glasses." 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	3. Samantha

 

Samantha

  
**Samantha  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
"Hello." _I should be getting used to three a.m. calls by now,_ he thought. The phrase 'FBI widow' immediately sprang to mind. 

"Um, is Fox Mulder there?" 

A female voice. _This better not be an old girlfriend._ "Uh, no, actually, he's not. Can I take a message?" 

"Uh, I guess I could try back. When will he be in?" 

"I'm not sure, exactly, possibly tomorrow night. May I ask who's calling?" 

"Tell him it's Sam." 

A dial tone. _'Sam?'_ Alex's mind was screaming at him. _It can't be. Thank god the cell phone is on speed dial._

"Mulder?" 

"Alex? What's wrong?" 

"Mulder, you just got this really strange phone call. I don't know who it was, but she said to tell you it was Sam." 

There was dead silence. "Mulder, are you there?" 

"Yeah. I've gotten these calls before, but they stopped when Cancerman died. I just assumed�" 

"It could just be a crank, you know." 

"I know. It probably is. But still,�" 

"Yeah. That's why I called. I thought you should know right away." 

"Thanks." He was quiet for a while. "She's calling back?" 

"She said tomorrow night." 

"I think I can arrange to be there." 

"Okay." 

"I love you." 

"I know. I love you. I miss you." 

"I hate being away." 

"You could always take that lovely desk job they offered you." 

A snort. Alex smiled. "Yeah, I could. Not." 

"Never change, Mulder." 

"I can't." 

"See you tomorrow?" 

"Yeah."

They had been together for three months. Three months had gone by, and they only talked about Samantha once. One night, when Alex had to wake Mulder from a nightmare. That had been the last one. Alex silently assumed it was because Mulder's life had reached some level of normalcy�with a snort, _how normal are **we** ,_ he thought�his nightmares had stopped. 

Neither of them had discussed it out loud, but they both assumed that with Cancerman dead, all hope of finding out what happened to Mulder's sister had died with him. He had threatened that, the whole time, held it over Mulder's head, until the choice had been taken away from him. Cancerman died by his own hand, with his world in ashes all around him. 

Mulder had cried when he saw the room, the remains, the fire. Not a lot, not for very long, but he cried. Alex held him that night, and listened to him breathe. Neither of them said anything. There was nothing left to say.

So they had picked up their lives, made their slow and treacherous way into each other's hearts, and lived. And except for one nightmare, they were happy.

Until the telephone rang. 

"Did she say when, exactly?" 

"Nope." Alex looked over at his lover, wearing a groove in the floor. "You're wearing a groove in the floor, you know." 

"What?" he looked down. "Oh." He flopped down on the couch by Alex. "Sorry." 

"Relax, babe." He tried that one out for size. Mulder gave him a look�nope. He couldn't, even after three months, find an endearment that suited Mulder. 'Honeybunny' had gotten him nowhere, as well as 'sweetie,' 'babycakes,' and 'hunka hunka burnin' looove,' although Mulder had appreciated the Elvis undertone. He tried to minimize his use of the hated 'Fox,' calling it out only in moments of extreme passion, when orgasm excused him. He didn't dare go near 'Spooky'�too many bad connotations, and he had never liked that one, anyway. Somehow he just kept arriving back at 'Mulder.' But it was just so�unromantic. 

"How about lord and master?" 

Alex snorted. "You wish. There's got to be something. Even Dana lets me use her first name." 

"Yeah, well, Scully's always been a sucker for a pretty face." 

Alex wrinkled up his nose and stuck out his tongue. "You're just jealous. You know we're secretly having an affair." 

"Oh, yeah, when do you meet?" 

"Every time you ditch her to go follow up on one of your leads, she calls me to commiserate. I'm the only one who understands." 

"I hardly ever do that anymore." 

"Oh yeah, right. She called me twice last week alone." 

"So, where do you meet?" 

"No-tell Motel. Route Six. Room 12. They love us there. We have an account." 

"You know, I'm going to cry at your funeral." 

Alex raised an eyebrow. 

"When Skinner finds out and breaks you into a thousand pieces." Mulder shook his head. "Such a pretty face, too, it's a shame." 

"He won't find out. I've got the perfect cover. My boyfriend keeps me barefoot and locked in the kitchen..." 

Mulder kissed him. Alex had almost mastered the art of not laughing through these kisses�he had a terrible tendency to react to passion with mirth and it tended to break the mood. 

The phone rang. 

Mulder pulled away, swallowed, then grabbed the phone and answered it. "Hello." 

"Fox Mulder?" 

"Who is this?" 

"It's Sam." 

They arranged to meet at a coffeeshop not far from the Hoover building in an hour. Alex thought Mulder was going to jump out of his skin between now and then. He even put a successful fight up to drive, although he had to throw himself bodily in front of the car before Mulder gave in. 

"You don't have to come, you know." 

"Uh-huh. I wouldn't either, only I want to see you again sometime in this life." 

Mulder looked at him. 

"Oh come on, don't tell me that it hasn't crossed your mind that this could be a setup. I'm covering your back, or you don't go. No arguments."

Mulder just shrugged, and looked out the passenger window. 

"What?" 

"Nothing. I was just thinking, a year ago�" 

Alex suddenly knew where this was going. "A year ago you thought I'd be more likely to put a bullet into you than anyone," he said quietly. 

"Alex�" 

"No, it's okay. It's true. How could you possibly think anything else?"

They were both silent. Then Mulder sighed. 

"I'm sorry he's dead. I'm glad he's dead, but I'd've liked to have done it myself." 

"You don't mean that." 

"I don't know. Maybe not. Could you?" 

_Oh yeah,_ Alex thought. _Damn straight. No problem. Right between the smoking bastard's eyes._ He shrugged. 

"I would've helped." 

Alex smiled. "This is an extremely gruesome conversation. Besides, neither of us will ever have to find out." 

Alex had told Mulder everything, well, almost everything, about the time that he had been 'working' for Cancerman. The setup, the monitoring, Dana's abduction, William Mulder's death. That had come the hardest�a suicide that was never supposed to happen, orchestrated carefully by the consortium. They had threatened exposure, and he had killed himself. He had been delusional at the end, and nearly turned the gun on his son, rather than risk him finding out the truth. Whatever the truth was, it didn't seem to matter anymore. 

Except when it came to Sam. Nobody knew anything, it seemed. Alex had his doubts as to whether Cancerman himself knew anything, or whether it was just a carrot dangled from the start. Disappearing documents, scrambled files, doctored photos�they had gone a long way, but in the end it hadn't added up to anything significant. The false Sams paraded in front of Mulder \- Alex didn't know if he could take another one. 

And this new one�if she turned out to be a fake, Alex had no doubt as to what he could do to her. 

"Refill?"

The waitress was making pretty-baby eyes at Mulder. They always did that, and it bugged the hell out of Alex. Mostly because Mulder never seemed to notice them. No wonder he had such a big video collection. 

"Thanks," Alex purred, and slid his hand onto Mulder's thigh. She poured a little coffee and backed away. 

"What the hell was that?" 

"Oh, nothing. Just guarding the territory." 

"Well, that's a flattering name for me. 'The territory.' I feel like a new state, or something." 

"Well, if you'd master the art of making these flocks of women disappear, I wouldn't have to indulge in these PDAs all the time." 

Mulder smiled. 

"You don't want me to stop!" He mock-punched him. "I can't believe you. Here I thought you were just being all cute and oblivious, and you're devious as hell!" 

Mulder grinned. Caught. "It used to drive Scully crazy, too." 

"She's going to kill you when I tell her." 

"You are _not_ going to tell her." 

"Who's going to stop me?" 

"I�" 

"Fox Mulder?" A soft voice made them both stop instantly and turn around. A slim woman, about five-seven or -eight, reddish-brown hair, fair, dark eyes, stood before them. She seemed uncomfortable. 

"Yes," Mulder said. "You must be�" 

"Actually, I was hoping you could tell me that." 

She slid into the booth and ordered a coffee. She waited until it was in front of her and liberally doused with milk and sugar before she spoke again. 

"I don't exactly know why I'm here. I don't even know why you agreed to meet me." 

"Why did you phone me and say you were Sam?" 

She sighed. "My name�the name that's on my driver's license�is Elizabeth Locke. I was raised from the age of twelve in a government-run orphanage in Vancouver. When I arrived there I had no name, no identification, and no memory. The police had found me wandering in a parking lot in a local shopping mall. They couldn't match me with any missing children's reports anywhere in Canada. Of course, that was before most of the information was computerized, but no matches were made. They placed me in the orphanage, and there I stayed. The chances of being adopted after the age of three are pretty slim. 

"I had an okay adolescence. I didn't hate the orphanage, it was nice and the people were okay and the other kids didn't bother me. I knew how to read and write, and I did well in school. It stopped bothering me after a while who I was and why I couldn't remember anything about myself. I just assumed that I would never know. 

"They had me examined by doctors periodically, who couldn't find any evidence of what had caused my amnesia. There didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with me. I didn't suffer from any seizures, epilepsy, no brain damage. I just couldn't remember. Apparently amnesia like that isn't unheard of, even outside soap operas." 

"But you got your memory back?" Mulder asked. 

"No, I never did. I left the orphanage when I was eighteen, went to university, graduated and got a job. I got married a little while later, to a man who didn't think it was too strange that I didn't have any family. He said he appreciated not having a mother-in-law." She smiled at that. "It really didn't bother me. I wondered, of course, if anyone was ever looking for me, but there didn't seem to be any way to find out." 

"How did you come here then? How did you find me?" 

"I thought that _you_ found _me_. I got an envelope about three months ago. When I opened it up, I found a lot of photocopied documents, photographs, a birth certificate, legal papers. It was a mess. When I read through it, I came across your name. The papers were immunization records, doctor's records, report cards�all records for a girl from birth to age ten, named Samantha Mulder. The name of your parents, and your name, was also on some of the records. I went on the Internet and looked you up. I found your phone number." 

"What took you so long to get in touch with me?" 

"I�I didn't look at the envelope right away. My husband was sick \- he was in a car accident about a week before the envelope came. I was spending most of my time in the hospital with him, and then�" she swallowed some of her coffee. "He died about ten weeks ago. Massive internal injuries. They operated seven times, but it was just too bad. They couldn't save him." 

"I'm sorry." 

She nodded her head. She seemed very tired. There was something about her eyes, though. 

"I opened the envelope a couple of weeks after the funeral. I had forgotten all about it, then I was cleaning the bedroom and found it. I had kicked it under the bed, and I opened it. I couldn't figure out what it was, why it had been sent to me. The label was very specific�my married name, address. There was no return address. I assumed that it was meant for me, and the only reason I could think of was because it must have been about me." 

"Did you keep the envelope it came in?" 

"Yeah, I kept everything. I've got it all in my luggage at the hotel. I thought you'd probably want to see it. FBI, eh, pretty heavy stuff." She sighed. "I was going to ignore it�just forget it ever happened, keep it a secret, throw it away�but I couldn't help thinking, maybe there's someone out there looking for Samantha. I'm not her, I don't even know her, but�" 

"But you came anyway." 

She nodded. "Um, do you want to come and see the stuff? We can go there, if you want." 

"Yeah, I'd like that." 

"You're not too tired?" Alex asked. 

She smiled at him. "I'm tired in a way that I don't think is going to go away with just sleep. Might as well try and get the mystery cleared up." 

They took Mulder's car to her hotel. It was small, but one of the nicer ones in that section of town. Alex, and Mulder, too, half-expected the room to be trashed when they got there�the luggage gone, the furniture overturned�but it was all there. 

"I suppose it's far too late to try to find any fingerprints but mine." 

"I doubt that there were ever any to find. Whoever did this, and for whatever reason, probably didn't want to be found." 

Mulder looked through the documents on the bed. Alex and Elizabeth sat at the desk. 

"Are you in the FBI, too, Mr. Krycek?" 

"Alex, please. No, I used to be, but I'm not anymore." 

"And you and Fox" Mulder lifted his head at that "are�" 

"Friends." He smiled. "Good friends." 

She smiled as well, knowingly. "Ah. Well, it's good to have good friends." She turned back to Mulder. "Is any of this authentic? Can you tell?" 

"It's the right school, the right doctor, right birthdate. Still, it's not really anything that wouldn't be part of public record. Nothing that would be too difficult to find and copy." 

"I wonder if either of us is ever really going to know the truth." 

"There are ways." 

"Yeah. Blood tests, DNA. I watched OJ Simpson, too." She paused. "Are your parents alive?" 

"My mother is. My father died a couple of years ago." 

"Did they ever have any other children?" 

"No, just�" He almost said 'just you,' but stopped himself. "Just Samantha." 

"It's a pretty name. Everybody calls me Beth." 

"Well, Beth, with your permission, I'd like to arrange some tests. My partner is a doctor. I'd like to call her and see what we can set up." 

"By all means. I'd like to know." 

Scully came right over after only a short explanatory phone call. Alex loved that about her. She was the only other one, besides him, that would do that for Mulder. A willing suspension of disbelief was definitely on the job description for partner of Fox Mulder. 

She was surreptitiously trying to compare the two of them, just as Alex had. There was something about her eyes that was familiar. He couldn't think if it was Mulder or his father, though. 

Scully was in her doctor mode right away. "We can set up blood tests and have the results back right away. DNA tests are going to take longer, but if we run the tests through the Bureau labs, we should have our answers by the end of the week." 

"I hate to ask this, but is it going to hurt?" Beth asked. 

"I was thinking the same thing," Mulder said, grinning. 

"No, don't worry, either of you. Just a regular pinprick type of hurt, over very fast. I'm sure you'll both survive." 

"When can you get us in?" 

"First thing in the morning. I'll call Janine at the lab and have her clear a spot for us at eight." 

"I love having friends in high places." 

"I'm assuming that you want this kept as low-key as possible." 

"That's okay, you can tell Walter." 

Alex was sure that if it hadn't been for the presence of Beth in the room, he would have, at that very moment, been picking his lover's teeth up off the floor. Scully's eyes narrowed. 

"That wasn't what I was thinking of." 

Mulder put his hands up in mock-surrender. "Okay, okay. Just teasing. You're right, we should keep this as quiet as we can." He turned to Beth. "I'd like to keep you somewhere safe while all this is going on. Maybe one of our safe witness residences will be able to take you in." 

"She can stay with me," Scully said. 

"Are you sure?" Mulder asked. 

"Sure. I've got the room, unlike you. Besides, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to." 

"Is this really necessary? I don't want to put you out." 

"I think it would be for the best. Mulder's right, we don't want anything happening to you before we get some answers." 

"All right. Thank you. I can check out right away, I guess." 

"Thanks, Scully." 

Mulder carried Beth's bags down for her. He was being very solicitous of her, just like a big brother. Alex took the opportunity, while they were checking her out, to pull Scully aside. 

"So, what do you think?" 

"I don't know what to think," she said. "There's something about her. I can't put my finger on it." 

"I know what you mean. I don't know whether to hope or not." 

"Well, there's always hope. I just don't him to get crushed again. Not about this. Not when everything's been going so well." 

They turned away from the desk, then, and Alex saw it. Beth smiled at something that Mulder said, and there it was�the slow, lazy, full-lipped grin that he knew so well on his lover. He turned to Scully. She was staring. 

"Wow," she said. 

"You can say that again. Do me a favor and put a rush on those tests, okay?" 

"Absolutely." 

Mulder carried Beth's luggage out to Scully's car and put it in the trunk. They said their good-byes, and went their separate ways, agreeing to meet back at their office at the Hoover Building at 7.45 the next morning. 

Alex looked over at Mulder. "How are you doing?" 

"I have no idea. I'm too afraid to hope for anything. I'm just - numb." He stared out of the window a little while. "She�does she look like me?" 

"I�there's something about her, but I don't know. I don't know if I'm looking for things that are there, or things that I want to be there. We just have to take this slow." 

"All the things that I thought�of finding her, of getting her back�I just never thought of what it would really be like. I lost a ten-year-old sister. She's�this girl�she has lost twelve years of her life. I mean, I can't imagine. There have been things that I've wanted to forget, but never that much. Not like that. To not know who you are�" 

"It sounds like you want this more for her than you do for you." 

"I want it to be her. But even if it is�" 

"You might not get any answers." 

"No."

"If you don't, will knowing be enough?" 

"It'll have to be." He paused, considering. "It will be." 

They slid into bed together. It had been easier to wean Mulder off the couch than Alex had thought it would be. He curled himself around his lover, who was almost instantly asleep. 

Alex's mind was still going. It just seemed too easy. Something had to be wrong, didn't it? God, he was turning into Mulder. They had changed roles. 

After tossing and turning for half an hour, Alex finally gave up and carefully got out of bed. He wandered out into the living room and turned on the tv. He curled into the couch and started flipping channels. 

An hour later he was still awake. He was watching some utterly un-fascinating infomercial about home hair-cutting systems. 

"That's supposed to be my job." 

Alex almost fell off the couch. "Jesus, Mulder, you scared the hell out of me!" 

"Sorry," he said, sliding in behind him, in his familiar place on the couch. "What's wrong?" 

"I dunno. Can't sleep." 

"Funny, I didn't have any trouble." 

"Yeah, I noticed." 

"Are you upset with me for some reason?" 

"No. It's nothing like that." 

"Then what?' 

He rolled his eyes. "You're going to think this is stupid." 

"Well I'll never know until you tell me." 

Alex sighed. "Don't you ever feel like we're just tempting fate a little bit here?" 

Mulder gave him a quizzical look. 

"I mean, everything's just going a little _too_ well. We're together, we're happy, nobody's tried to kill us for a while, Dana's happy, nobody's tried to abduct her, Sam reappears�" 

"Maybe." 

"Sam _maybe_ reappears. Everything's wonderful." 

"And you're waiting for the other shoe to drop." 

"Uh-huh." 

"You know, I never did think I'd find somebody who's more paranoid than I am." 

"Well, I try." 

"How about trying to relax a little? Would it make you feel better if I tried to get shot at work tomorrow?" 

"Would you really do that for me?" 

"Sure. Anything for you." 

They got up to go back into the bedroom. "Baby, you're the greatest," Alex said, sweeping Mulder into a Ralph Kramden-style hug and kiss. "Oh, and if you do get shot at, please duck." 

Alex woke up the next morning to the feel of a warm mouth on his stomach. "Mmm," he sighed, "why is early-morning sex always the best?" 

"Nice way to wake up?" 

"Uh-huh." He tugged Mulder up beside him. "There you are. Hi." 

"Hi." They kissed, deeply. Alex pulled him close, feeling the body that was a familiar to him as his own, sliding his hands down the muscled back. They rubbed themselves together, slowly, languorously kissing, fingers twining, sliding over familiar flesh. They touched each other intimately, re-learning favorite places. Their tongues tangled together. They never stopped kissing. 

Alex came first, rubbing himself up against his lover. His surprise at the gentle orgasm pushed Mulder over the edge. 

"Wow," he panted. "It's a wonder I don't come just looking at you." 

"Do you think we're getting too easy?" 

"Must be all the phone sex." 

Alex looked over at the clock by the bed. "It's after six-thirty. We're going to have to share the shower." 

"Awww." 

"To _clean_ ourselves. We have to be there bright and early to see the doctor." He pulled himself out of the bed, and reached a hand down to Mulder. "If you're really good, and don't cry, I bet she'll give you a lolly." 

Mulder snorted. "Promise?" 

"I'll make sure." 

They actually got clean, got dressed, and pulled up in front of the building by seven forty. When they opened up the office door, Scully and Beth were already there. 

"I forgot to tell you not to eat. I hope you didn't." 

"Didn't have time. We had a bit of a late night." 

Scully smiled at them. "I'll bet." 

Mulder turned to Beth. "Are you all right?" 

"Yeah," she said. "This is all just a bit�" 

"Strange?" Alex offered. 

"Definitely. And confusing, and bizarre, and unbelievable�I could go on forever." 

"Well, hopefully, we'll be just a bit closer to getting some answers today." 

"Shall we go, then?" Scully asked. 

"I'm game if you are." 

"Onward and upward," Beth said. 

The tests were quickly taken and sent for processing. Janine promised to make them her primary focus�hopefully they would have the results by tomorrow afternoon. 

They took Beth back down to the office after they were done. She looked around at the cluttered office. 

"What exactly do you two do?" 

The three of them looked at each other. "We investigate unexplained phemonena," Mulder said, finally. 

"Oh." She looked at some of the photos and posters. "Aliens?" 

"Sometimes." 

She nodded. "You believe in all this, then?" 

"Sometimes." He was trying hard not to sound defensive. Scully was trying to suppress a smile. Alex was looking intently at the floor. "Do you?" 

"Well, I've always thought it was a little conceited to think that the human race was the only technologically advanced species in the universe. It's all a little too vast to believe that." 

He visibly relaxed. "My thoughts exactly." 

"I suppose I should get out of here and let you two get some work done." 

"I doubt if we'll get anything productive done today." 

"We have a meeting with Skinner at ten," Scully reminded him. 

"Oh, yeah. Damn, I don't even have the report finished." 

"I did it last night," Scully said. 

"Well, I'm glad one of us is responsible." He turned to Beth. "Do you have any plans for the day? Have you ever been in D.C. before?" 

"No, but there's certainly no lack of things to see here. I'm sure I can amuse myself." 

"I'd be willing to tour guide, if you want," Alex said. He had a feeling that Mulder would be happier if she weren't left alone. 

"That'd be great, thanks," she said, picking up on his look. "Maybe we could all have lunch together?" 

"It's a date," Mulder said. 

"I have plans," Scully said, "but I'd love to join you all for dinner." 

Mulder gave her a look. "Maybe we should invite _Walter_ ," he said. 

"Now, now, you two play nice," Alex laughed. "Come on, Beth, let's get out of here before the artillary gets pulled out." 

The last thing they heard as the door closed was Beth asking Alex, "Who's Walter?" 

They met at another coffeeshop at one. Alex and Beth had visited the national art gallery that morning, but had spent more time talking than they did looking at any of the art. He found her to be an interesting and intelligent conversationalist. 

"What did you study in school?" Mulder asked her. 

"Physics," she said. "I wanted to study quantum physics in grad school, but I ended up getting married three months after I got my B.Sc, and never did go back." She looked a little pained. "My late husband had money that he inherited when his parents died. We traveled, saw the country, then other countries. We had a wonderful life together." 

"I'm sorry." 

"I'm not, actually. We only had eight years, but they were wonderful years. We loved each other a lot. He was a very special man." 

"It must have been a shock, though, losing him so young," Alex said. 

"Actually, we had more time together than we ever thought we would. He had Hodgkin's disease. The doctors had given him a death sentence before we even got married. That's why I didn't go back to school. We wanted to spend as much time together as possible." 

"What happened?" 

"He had a bone-marrow transplant and went into remission. It was almost a miracle. He was so well after that, we just took off and didn't look back." 

"Wow."

"I guess that's why my mourning has been so�'simple' seems like a stupid way to put it. I mourned him eight years ago when I thought he would die in the hospital. Then, after I got him back, I promised him I wouldn't mourn him again, just remember." She shrugged. "It's hard to explain." 

"I think I understand," Alex said. 

"It's easier when you know they're gone, isn't it?" She directed this at Mulder. He had been staring at her, then looked away. "It's all right," she said, smiling, "I've seen you all do it. Do I look like anyone?" 

He reached into his suit pocket, pulled two photos out, and laid them in front of her. "You tell me." 

They were of Bill and Sarah Mulder, his parents. They were each about thirty in the pictures, roughly the same age as Beth now. She picked them up individually, and looked at them. 

"Were you close? Are you close?" 

"Yes and no. Things changed after�" 

"After she disappeared." She didn't even hesitate on the 'she', as if there were no connection. 

"Yes."

"You blamed yourself." 

He said nothing. 

"It wasn't your fault." He looked at her. "You were a kid. What could you have done?" 

They stared at each other. This was beginning to creep Alex out. They were _connecting_ , on some level, that he didn't think that either of them understood. 

"Tell me about her?" she asked. "If it's not too painful." 

Alex sat and listened as Mulder told stories about Sam. Teasing, the long-haired, gangly little girl came to life before them. Beth smiled, and laughed at some of the pictures he conjured up. 

"She sounds like a pain in the butt," she laughed. "She must have really adored her big brother." 

"And I tormented her." 

"Nevertheless," she pointed out, "you were fulfilling your job description." She suddenly sobered. "Oh, my god," she said. "I almost completely forgot." She grabbed her purse and rummaged around in it. "Don't tell me I left it in my bag at Dana's," she prayed. She was about to dump the entire contents out on the table when she found what she was looking for and pulled it out for them to see. 

It was a black-and-white picture, a little wrinkled, of a young lady in a school uniform in front of a large stone building. It was quite clear�she was standing in the sun, pale in her dark uniform, with long, dark braids spilling out of a round straw hat. She was smiling. 

It was Sam. 

"That was me. It was the first picture that I had of myself," she said. "The nuns took one of each of us so we would have something to take with us�" She looked up and immediately stopped speaking. The colour had completely drained out of Mulder's face. He stared at the picture, then bolted from his seat and ran for the bathroom. 

Alex found him in one of the stalls, being sick. He wet a paper towel and brought it in to clean off his lover's face. 

"It's her," Mulder said, when he could speak again. "It's her." 

Alex was silent. 

"I didn't believe it. _I_ didn't believe it. None of it. Even the look, the records, nothing. It was too easy, just like you said. But that photo�God, Alex, it's _her_." 

He was shaking. Alex thought he might be sick again, but he took a few deep breaths and then seemed to calm down a little. He walked over to the sink. 

"The DNA tests will be in tomorrow. We'll know for sure." Mulder looked at him. "I know you know�I think we all do. But a little concrete evidence couldn't hurt." He leaned against one of the sinks. "I knew from the time I first saw her smile�she has your smile. Exactly." He put a hand on Mulder's back, and they looked at his face in the mirror. Alex smiled. "Let's go back out. We've probably scared her." 

"God, yes, let's go. I can't even imagine what she must be thinking." 

"Probably the same thing we are." 

She was sitting at the table, still, with a steamy, creamy-looking cup of coffee in front of her. At Alex's look she shrugged, "It's a Canadian thing. Tim Horton's sells more cream and sugar than they do coffee." She looked at Mulder. "It's me, isn't it?" 

He nodded. 

She let out a deep breathe. "Damn." She started to cry. "I didn't mean that in a bad way," she said between sniffles, "but�damn. What do we do now?" 

"I have no idea." 

"Okay," she said, pulling herself together. "First we get the test results. Then, we decide what to do." 

"Sounds sensible. Maybe you're not related," Alex joked. 

"That bad, huh?" 

"Oh yeah." 

"Hey!" Mulder objected. 

"Yeah," she said, quietly. "Hey." 

They both smiled, and Alex was once again caught by the way they looked. It was the Mulder smile. He hadn't seen nearly enough of it before, but he had a feeling we was going to see more of it than he ever thought from now on. 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	4. Dana

 

Dana

  
**Dana  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
"Thanks for meeting me." 

Beth Locke sat down across from Dana Scully. "Nice restaurant," she said. 

"Better than you're used to, I'd imagine." 

"Yes, well my�Fox doesn't have the best culinary taste in the world. I think Alex is helping a little, though." 

Dana noticed the hesitation after 'my'. Beth�aka Samantha Mulder�still couldn't seem to master the word 'brother' when talking about Fox Mulder, but then again, neither had Mulder started calling her 'sister.' It was all a little too new. Dana smiled. "I know what you mean. I've seen the insanity." 

"And yet you've survived all these years. I'm impressed." 

"I didn't ask you here just to talk food." 

"I didn't think so. Is something wrong?" 

"I just wanted to get to know you better. I have the feeling you could use a friend right now, and I know you don't know anyone else here except your brother." 

"No. I'm supposed to go and meet my mother this weekend. It's all a little strange. I mean, I'm over thirty" she grimaced "and here I am, meeting family for what seems like the first time. If I could remember anything it would be so much easier. But I can't. Has Fox said anything to you?" 

Dana smiled again. "What?" Beth asked. 

"I can't get used to you calling him 'Fox,' that's all." 

"I've noticed that I'm the only one who does it. I could call him 'Mulder', I guess, but it's a little weird. I mean, he _is_ my brother." 

"I think he likes it when you call him that." 

"How is he?" 

She shrugged. "I can't get him to tell me anything. I've talked to Alex, a bit, but he doesn't seem to open up about anything." She paused when the waiter came to take their orders. When he had left, she continued. "It was so difficult on him when he was looking for you. I almost thought that he wanted answers more than he wanted�" She stopped. 

"More than he wanted his sister. And he has me, and no answers." She sighed. "That's what I was afraid of." 

"He loves you." 

"He doesn't even know me. I don't know him. We're two people who are just being thrown together. I don't know how to do this. I've never had family. And now I'm going to go meet my mother. God, I need a drink." She laughed. "Will you join me?" 

Dana looked at her watch, looked at Beth, and pulled out her cell phone. "Hi, Mulder. It's me. I'm not feeling very well� no, it's nothing serious, just a little under the weather. I'm just going to go home and lie down. I'll be back in tomorrow morning. Yes, I'll phone you if I need anything. Don't worry." She put the phone away. "So, what's your poison?" 

They took cabs home. It was a long, martini- and wine-soaked lunch. They talked for hours, and Dana couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun. 

The difference in environmental upbringing was very much in evidence with Beth. Even though she was raised in a relatively austere environment�an orphanage�she described it as a happy place, and she had been surrounded by other children, both older and younger. Mulder had always been a loner, especially after Sam disappeared. The burden that his parents had placed on him from an early age still weighed heavy on him. 

Alex was helping with that, though. Being in love did wonders for Mulder. He was sleeping more, eating better, getting regular exercise�Dana snorted at that thought�and he looked better than he had since she knew him. 

The phone rang, knocking her out of her daze. 

"'Lo." 

"Dana? Are you okay?" 

"Yeah, fine, thanks. You?" 

"Are you sure you're okay? You sound strange." 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Great. Who is this?" 

"It's your boss." 

"Oh, Walter, sir, yeah, thanks, fine. Why are you calling?" 

"Agent Mulder told me you had called in sick this afternoon. I was concerned. Are you drunk?" 

"Yes, sir, I am. Did we have a date tonight?" 

"Yes, actually, we did." 

"Oh." Pause. "You want to come over?" She tried a mock-sexy voice. 

Walter laughed. "I think that taking advantage of that offer in your present condition could be a prosecutable offense." 

"Aw. Well, okay. I'll see you tomorrow then." She air- kissed the phone. "'Bye." 

"Goodnight. Get some sleep." 

"'Kay." 

The world was a painful place for Dana Scully the next morning. She arrived at work ten minutes early, and made an extra-strong pot of coffee. She took several aspirin, drank a glass of water, and drank her first coffee as hot as she could stand it. When Mulder walked in, she still felt as if every sound was being magnified ten times just for her. 

"Good morning, Scully. Are you feeling better today?" He gave her a big smile, and put a package of donuts down in front of her. "I brought you breakfast." 

She grimaced at him and pushed the package away. "I'm fine, thank you. Why are you so unbelievably cheerful this morning?" 

"I talked to my sister last night. She called me up and asked me if I wanted to go swimming at eleven o'clock last night. In the river." He grinned at her. "I managed to convince her to wait until daylight. She told me she really liked you and that she was glad you'd had lunch together." 

"I can't believe she ratted me out." 

"Well, she wasn't exactly of sound mind at the time. I believe she was under the influence of several quarts of gin." He sobered. "Is she okay?" 

"Yes. She just needed to blow off a little steam. I guess I did, too." She made a face. "Next time I'll forgo the wine and take her to the shooting gallery." 

"With my picture on the target?" 

"She's not angry, certainly not at you. She's just� overwhelmed, and confused, and scared. She likes you." 

"And you?" 

"I like you, too." 

"That's not what I meant." 

She smiled, a little wearily. "I'm okay. It's been a rough couple of months. I didn't want to get another tattoo" he wrinkled his nose at her "so I went and whooped it up with your sister. I like her. She's good people." 

"I'm glad you like her. I think she needs a friend." 

"Yeah, don't we all." She looked pointedly at him. 

"I'm fine." 

"Uh-huh. That's not what Alex has been saying." 

He looked a little ashamed. "I knew it was a bad thing when you two became such good friends." 

"You have to talk to him, Mulder. Even you macho types have to speak once in a while. Or do you just grunt at each other when I'm not around?" 

He smiled. "Not all the time." 

She put a hand up. "I don't want to hear about it. But, honestly, Beth's got a lot of things bottled up about this whole situation, and you must, too. You can't tell me that it's not hard not knowing what happened to her." 

"Of course it's hard. But I always said that I wanted to find her, and I did." 

"No, you always said that you wanted to know what happened. And you don't. And you may not get to find out. That has to be hard for you."

"I have her back. It should be enough." 

"But it isn't, is it? And you feel guilty for wanting more. So, you ignore it, and don't talk, and generally behave like�like Fox Mulder. And that can be really annoying sometimes." 

"I had no idea I was so bad." 

"You're not. We care about you, Mulder�Alex, and Beth, and I. But we can't help you if you don't talk about it." She sat down on his desk. "I know a ten-minute pep talk is not going to change your life, but you really need to think about this. I mean, where do the X-Files go now that your search is over? Or _is_ it over?" 

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. I feel like the search was more important than the discovery sometimes." 

"Wow. An honest emotion from Fox Mulder. I'm impressed." 

"I am a person, you know." 

"Yeah, well, acting like one and not Superagent is nice to see." He was about to answer, when she cut him off. "And don't get all defensive on me. You know I'm right." 

"You know, you can be a real pain in the ass sometimes." 

"Takes one to know one." 

He laughed. "I like this side of you. Please take my sister and get drunk more often." 

She groaned. "Another evening like that and I'll have to join a twelve-step program. And we have a meeting with Skinner this morning." 

"'Skinner'? I take it we did not have a date last night?" 

"Well, I don't know about you, but I didn't. That is, I was supposed to�" 

"Ah, great, nothing like a frustrated supervisor first thing in the morning." 

She glared at him. "Have you nothing better to do than to cast aspersions on my love life?" 

He put his hands up in surrender. "I give up. Is your half of the report finished?" 

She sighed. "I hope so. You?" 

"Freshly typed and completely implausible. He'll love it." 

"I need more coffee." 

"Maybe you'd better bring the pot." 

Beth was waiting outside of their office when their meeting was over. 

"You look a lot better than I feel," Dana said. 

"The secret is to take the aspirin _before_ you go to bed. And B-12. And, if all else fails, throwing up is always an option." She laughed. "Don't let this facade fool you, though, I'm crying on the inside." 

"Sounds like the voice of experience," Fox said. 

"You should see me at karaoke," she grinned. "I'm a disco queen." She did a mock-John Travolta stance. He groaned. "I know, I know. Elvis is the only King. You are such an easy target sometimes." 

"Why did you come by?" 

"I need to cancel our dinner tonight. And tomorrow, too." 

"Something wrong?" 

"No, I'm just going home for a couple of days. To Vancouver," she added quickly. "Don't worry, I'll be back for the weekend, as planned." 

"Is everything okay?" 

She nodded. "Yeah. I've just been neglecting some friends, and there's some legal papers that I need to sign about Jack's will, and the house, and I didn't bring very many clothes with me, and� don't take this the wrong way, but I need to touch base for a little while." 

Dana discreetly excused herself. 

Beth leaned against her brother's desk. "I'm at loose ends right now. I don't really belong here. Hell, I'm not even actually a U.S. citizen, I think. Or am I? I can't work, and there's only so many days you can spend in the Smithsonian before you drive yourself insane. I think the guards know me by name." 

"I could take some time off. I should have thought of that sooner�"

"Oh, god, could you imagine? The two of us together, staring at each other for days on end? No, I need to _do_ something. I need to make some decisions, and I have to do it alone. Please understand." 

"I want to spend more time with you," he looked stricken. 

"I know. Me too. I'll be back, I promise." She sighed. "I know this has been harder on you than I could ever imagine. In a way, it was easy for me. I just don't remember. I don't have anything haunting me." She took his hand. "I will be back. I won't disappear again." 

"When are you leaving?" 

"I've got a flight this afternoon. I'll be back Friday. Not much of a visit, but I need it." 

He nodded. "I understand." 

"Thank you." She hugged him, a little awkwardly. "I'll see you Friday." 

"Call me, and I'll pick you up." 

"You don't have to�" 

"Call me," he said firmly. 

She nodded. 

"So," Dana asked when she came back into the office. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh-huh." 

She nodded, pursing her lips. "Are you going to talk to Alex, or will I have to shoot you again to immobilize you?" 

He smiled. "I'll talk." 

"Good. You'd better. I'll know, you know." 

"Don't you always?" 

Lunch was quiet. Walter had a meeting with some of the higher-ups� nobody she really had to worry about now, not for the same reasons� and Mulder went over to see the Lone Gunman. He tried to persuade her to join them, but she begged off. The passes and lustful glances were lessening now that they knew she was seeing someone, but still... 

She called her mom, who was not at home, then decided to forgo lunch altogether and go shopping. She needed some new shoes, having ruined yet another pair in a swamp last week. She wished Beth hadn't left for the airport already. She suspected another afternoon off would do her a world of good. 

She was in the middle of deciding between the sensible brown pumps and the sensible tan pumps when her cell phone rang. 

"Scully? Frohicke's got some photos here you've got to see. You remember that airborne bacteria case that we worked on a couple of months ago? Well, it looks like it's back, and you'll never guess where." 

She sighed. "I'll meet you in twenty minutes, Mulder." 

She hung up and turned to the salesgirl. "I'll take them both. Do you have any hipwaders in stock?" 

They spent the afternoon examining the photos, which Dana thought looked more like a particularly bad case of scabies than a flesh- eating bacteria. She excused herself after a couple of hours to go to Quantico and check on some test result she was expecting on a body that had been brought in two days ago. All in all, it was a quiet day.

She hoped to have a make-up dinner with Walter to apologize for missing the night before, but he ended up having to work late. She shook her head at the message she found on her desk. Between her frequent trips away and his ever-growing workload, they had almost no time together. 

Mulder went through the rest of the day in an untouchable mood, trying not to show how much Beth's leaving had affected him. She sighed to herself, resolving not to get involved again until she was asked. Let Alex handle the dirty work. 

She bought herself some take-out italian on the way home, and picked up a video. Her briefcase was filled with unread reports and unfinished research, but she couldn't summon any enthusiasm for her job this evening. Sometimes it was just all too much of the same thing.

The video was a romantic drama, with a sappy ending, which did nothing to improve her mood. She almost pulled a bag together and went back to work for a late-night workout, but decided to try for a complete night's sleep instead. 

She was glad of her decision on an early night when she was awakened at five the next morning. Her partner gave her the details of a UFO sighting that had been reported in New Jersey. Not Paris, not New Orleans, New Jersey. She sighed. 

They caught the earliest flight out�seven-thirty. She packed for a three-day stay, but about twenty minutes after they arrived it was obvious that the whole thing was a hoax, an attempt to cash in on a tabloid reward for proof of extraterrestrial life. It was a laughable site�it looked convincing in photos downloaded over the Internet, but in person, it was patently obvious that all the "mysterious" markings in the field were man-made. Even Mulder was upset over the assignment. His tip had come from a previously reliable source. 

They arrived back in D.C. at 8pm. Alex was there to meet Mulder, and she waved them off, deciding to call herself a cab and tuck into bed. 

A hand on her shoulder after she passed through the metal detectors nearly made her draw her gun. She turned around, looking straight into the eyes of Walter Skinner. 

"I'm glad I didn't shoot you earlier." 

He smiled at her. "I appreciate it." 

She giggled. "I threatened Mulder yesterday to immobilize him. Maybe you should do the same to me. A nice career-ending injury, but non-life-threatening." 

"Such as?" 

"Oh, I don't know. Back pain is too debilitating, head injury could be fatal... How about you just wing me in the leg? I could fake it from there." 

"Well, if you're sure..." 

She nodded. "At this point, a couple of days in the hospital is looking like a perk." 

"Is it that bad?" 

She sighed. "No. It's actually not. It's just�I'm frustrated." He raised an eyebrow. She smiled and snuggled closer to him, pulling the blankets up over her shoulders. "I don't mean _that_. I mean, I don't know if we're doing a good job anymore. I don't know if we're making any sort of a difference. That's what I always wanted to do. Now that Sam's been found, Mulder just doesn't have the old fire. I hate to say it, but I think having Cancerman around may have been good for him." 

He nodded. "I know what you mean. There's not much of a challenge anymore, is there?" 

"No. And it's not just that. I never intended to spend the rest of my life in the X-Files. I don't know what I want, though. I feel at loose ends." 

"Do you want to get married?" 

She stared at him. "Are you serious? Is this a proposal?" 

"It could be. I've been thinking about it. I know we haven't really talked about it, but I've always thought that we were good together. I love you, Dana." He kissed her. "I want to talk about things like this. I don't even know if you want children�" 

"Whoa. Let's get back to the proposal part." 

"Dana Scully, will you marry me?" 

She smiled. "Yes, I will." 

Alex Krycek stretched, rolling over and up against his sleeping lover. At least his lover who was trying to _pretend_ he was sleeping. He leaned up on one elbow, peering over Mulder's shoulder. 

"I know you're not asleep, you know." 

Mulder groaned and opened his eyes. "I should have stayed on the couch tonight." 

"So, the honeymoon's over already?" 

"No, but I don't want to keep you awake all night." 

"The honeymoon is definitely over." 

Mulder rolled over, looking Alex in the eyes. He leaned up for a kiss, which quickly turned passionate. 

After giving in for a few minutes, Alex pulled away. "This isn't going to work." 

"What?" 

"Sex. We'll both enjoy it, and then be right back where we started." 

"Which is?" 

"You tossing and turning and not talking to me. Or out on the couch. I want you to tell me what's wrong." 

"Nothing's wrong. What could possibly be wrong?" Mulder got up and out of the bed, standing at the window and staring out into the darkness. 

"Whatever in the world?" Alex sighed, then pulled himself out of bed, and wrapped his arms around Mulder. "Mulder, if I thought that you could just get over this, I'd leave you alone. But it's been this way for weeks now, with no sign of a break. You need to talk to someone. I love you, and I want it to be me." 

Mulder tensed, then turned and slid his arms around Alex. "I know, I do, too. It's just hard." 

"What is?" 

"I've got what I wanted. I have my sister back. Only, it's not really my sister. I don't know how my mother's going to react. Scully's unhappy with the work. _I'm_ unhappy with the work. I love you, and I'm neglecting you, and I don't know how to fix it. Any of it." He kissed Alex. "And I love you, and I have my sister back, and I'm doing what I've wanted to do, and I don't know why it's not enough. You're enough, and she's enough, and it's enough. And, with the exception of you, it's _not_ enough." 

"Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For telling me."

"Did it help?" 

"Well, I don't know about you, but _I_ feel a lot better." 

Mulder laughed. "Well, that's what's important." 

Alex smiled. "I thought it was me." 

"No. You're the good part. You're the best part. And Sam," he started, " _Beth_ , I mean�I've just got to try and get to know her." 

"You didn't really get Sam back. She's gone, for good, it seems. But you can have something else, have someone else. Beth can be someone else for you. She's a good person, kind, lovable. And she has a lot of room in her heart, I can tell. You can't be two kids together anymore, but you _can_ have a sister again, if you want one." 

"If she comes back." 

"She'll come back, she promised. Don't worry." 

Beth's plane landed late Friday afternoon. Alex and Mulder both went to pick her up. They saw her step off the plane. 

If she hadn't waved at them, they might never have known it was her. She looked wonderful, relaxed and smiling, about five years younger than she had when she left, even considering what jet lag she must have experienced from the quick succession of flights. She was wearing a wicked-looking dress, soft silk, heels, and she had had her hair done. It cascaded down her back in soft curls. 

"Wow," Alex said. "This girl knows how to relax. How did she have time for all of this?" 

Mulder shook his head, still staring. Beth came through the gate, and walked over to them. Just before she reached them, a man came up behind her and put his hand on her arm. She turned to talk to him, smiling. She took a card before they parted. 

"Hi, guys," she said, linking her arms with both of them. "Miss me?"

"Who was that?" Mulder asked. 

"Oh, I don't know. Just some guy who was talking to me on the flight. Why?" She grinned at him. "You're not getting all big-brotherly on me, are you?" 

"If he doesn't, I will. You're definitely too beautiful to go out alone in that outfit." 

She beamed at Alex. "Thank you, kind sir. I'm starting to feel like a female again. I packed and came in such a hurry before that I hardly brought anything with me. And, it's starting to get nice out again, so I thought I'd splurge." She looked at Mulder. "I brought a lot of stuff, too, so you're both going to have to help me." 

He smiled at her, catching the inference. "You had a good trip?"

She nodded. "It was what I needed. I'm glad to be back, though."

"I'm glad, too. I�I missed you." 

"Good." 

Both Mulder and Alex started laughing. 

"What?" she asked. 

Dana had invited the three of them over to her apartment that evening for dinner. Mulder thought it might have something to do with Beth coming back, but when they arrived and saw Walter Skinner there, and the look on Dana's face, he realized that was just a periphery. 

She had been better at work, calmer, more relaxed. He didn't know why, but he suddenly had a feeling that this was some sort of a momentous occasion.

They made it through dinner, dessert, and still nothing. They relaxed around each other, chatting amiably. Mulder was beginning to think that the feeling was all in his mind, when Dana brought out another bottle of wine and uncorked it, passing around glasses. She looked over at Walter and said, with a smile, "We have an announcement." 

Beth was beaming at her. 

"Shall I do the honors?" Dana asked Walter. 

"By all means." 

She took a deep breath. "We're getting married." 

Beth jumped up to hug her. "I'm so glad. I knew it as soon as I walked in. Do you have a ring? A date? I need details!" 

Dana laughed. "You're more excited than I am!" 

"Darn straight. It's always much less nerve-wracking and much more exciting when you're not the bride." She went over to hug Walter. 

Alex was looking at Mulder, concerned, before he turned and gave Dana a hug. "Congratulations, Dana. Happy?" 

She beamed at him. "Absolutely." 

"I hope you stay this happy." He kissed her cheek. 

Mulder got up. He and his partner stared at each other for a little while, before the rest of the them decided to discreetly go into the living room for a few minutes. 

"Wow, Scully�married? When did you decide this?" 

"Yesterday, actually. I wanted to tell you all together. I hope you don't mind." 

"Of course not. I'm happy for you." He walked over to her, and took her hand. "You're leaving, aren't you?" 

She nodded. "I'm not helping you anymore. I don't have the old feeling for the job anymore. I've got to try something else." She smiled. "Would you have guessed that this would ever have happened five years ago?" 

"No. Five years ago, the world was a different place." 

"It's better now." 

"Yes." He looked at her a minute, then kissed her. "I hope you have all the happiness that you deserve." 

She laughed. "I hope I get more than that!" 

"It's not possible." 

"If you make me cry, Fox Mulder, I swear�" 

He put his hands up in surrender. "All right, don't shoot!" 

He put his arm around her waist, and they walked out to join the others. Mulder sat down beside Alex, taking one of his hands. Beth smiled quietly, before turning back to Dana. "You still haven't given me any details." 

"I only really have one decided. I�I lost my sister a few years ago, and I was wondering�would you stand up for me?" 

"Dana, thank you. Are you sure?" 

She nodded. "Yes. It's going to be small�just a quiet wedding, I think. Walter?" 

"Actually, I was going to ask you to stand up for me, Mulder." 

"I'd be glad to, sir." 

"Then it's settled. All we have to do is pick a date." 

"The sooner the better, as far as I'm concerned." 

Dana pulled the calendar off of her desk. "How about two weeks from Sunday?" 

"Two weeks?" Beth asked. "Wow, you really _do_ want a small wedding." 

Dana smiled. "I have most of my family around me right now. The rest of the relatives can join us. We'd all fit in this room, probably." 

"There was something said about a ring." Walter pulled a small box out of his pocket. "No better time, I'd say." He opened it in front of her. Inside was a pear-shaped emerald solitaire. "I thought of you when I saw this." 

"It's beautiful." He slipped it on her finger. They kissed, and embraced. She wiped away a tear surreptitiously. "None of you will be happy until I start bawling, will you?" she laughed. 

"We never did have a toast," Beth said, coming back to the room with the wine glasses on a tray. She passed them around. When everyone was ready, she raised her glass. "To the future," she said. 

"The future." 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	5. Fox

 

Fox

  
**Fox  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
"Are you okay?" 

"Yes, I'm wonderful. I throw up all the time." Beth Locke was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in her brother's bathroom. _My brother. I'm _never_ going to get used to that._

Fox Mulder peeked around the corner. She looked pale, and slightly embarrassed. "Sorry, I just didn't think it was that bad." 

She stared at him. "You've got to be kidding me! It was _awful_. She called me Samantha all afternoon!" She rubbed a wet towel over her face. Alex Krycek came in, stepping around his lover. He took Beth's hand, an arm around her waist to steady her, and led her out to the living room. A pot of tea was on the coffee table. Mulder followed them slowly.

"And you _know_ that she doesn't believe that it's me!" Her shoulders slumped. "I'm not even mad at her. I'm just mad in general." 

They had visited Sarah Mulder that afternoon, the first chance that she had to see her long-lost daughter. It had not gone well. Despite the fact that she called Beth by her daughter's name, it was obvious to all that she didn't really believe that it was her. She had told her son as much when they were alone in the kitchen. 

Everything after that was polite, but strained. Beth had stayed as long as she could stand, then excused herself. Her brother came out to find her in the car, shaking. She wanted him to drive her back to her hotel, but he insisted on bringing her home with him. He was glad that he did. She had barely made it in to the apartment before she rushed to the bathroom.

Alex was rubbing her shoulders sympathetically. "I'm glad you didn't say 'I told you so'," she said to him. 

Mulder envied the connection that his lover and sister had managed to forge. They had spent a lot of time together when she first arrived, and had continued to be close. Alex had just started his new job this past week, and they had lunch together two or three times a week. 

"'I told you so'?" Mulder asked. 

"I warned her that it might be difficult with your mother," Alex explained. If anyone, he should know. Sarah Mulder had _not_ accepted her son's lover with open arms. She refused to see him if at all possible. 

Mulder sighed. "We've just got to give her some time. She'll come around when she sees the evidence�" 

Beth snorted. "Yeah, that worked really well with the Simpson jury, didn't it?" She managed a smile. "We really are all related, aren't we? We're all pig-headed, stubborn, and single-minded. Talk about a case for genetics." 

Alex laughed. "Why do you think we get along so well? I've had months of practice." 

"You should stay here tonight." 

"I don't want to impose. You don't need to babysit me." 

"Don't be silly," Alex said. "That's a great idea. We actually have room now, so stay. We'll get something greasy for dinner." 

"How could I refuse an invitation like that?" 

The apartment that Alex and Mulder had moved into was a big improvement on Mulder's old place. They had discussed moving into Alex's place, but it held too many bad memories for him, so they decided to get a fresh start. It had taken them over a month to find something they both liked. 

They had three bedrooms, high ceilings, a fair-sized kitchen (although neither of them cooked much), and a huge living room. They splurged on new beds, a big-screen tv, and some tasteful framed posters for the walls. It was bigger and brighter than Mulder's old place, but masculine and comfortable. And, most of the fish had survived the move. 

Alex offered to go out to get italian and a couple of movies. He also wanted to give them a little time together. 

Beth was staring at Mulder. 

"What?" 

"Alex told me that I look like you. I'm trying to figure it out." 

"Don't you need a mirror for that?" 

She smiled. "It would probably help. Do you think any of us really have any idea what we look like?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, in my mind I'm at least ten pounds lighter, two inches taller, and five years younger than I really am." 

He shook his head at her. "I've never considered that." 

"Must be a girl thing." 

"Well, personally, I think you're a lot prettier than I am." 

"I don't know. Alex thinks you're pretty." 

He looked at her. "He _said_ that?" 

She backpedaled. "Maybe not those exact words�" 

"I'm going to kill him." 

"Uh-oh." She sidled over to him. "Please don't tell him I told you. I need all the allies I can get." 

He took her hand. "You've got me, you know," he said, soberly. 

She looked at him. "I know," she replied quietly. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch before. I get mean and sarcastic when I'm upset. I tend to open my mouth too much." 

"I think it's a good thing. I have a problem with not opening it enough, or at least when I should." 

She gave him a look, then shook her head. 

"What?" he asked. 

"Don't you wonder how we would have turned out if Samantha hadn't disappeared?" 

"All the time." 

She sighed. "And we'll never know what happened, or why." 

"I don't know." She looked curiously at him. "I'm still looking for some answers." He shrugged. Beth looked a little disturbed. "What?" 

"Just thinking about something Dana told me." 

"Which was?" 

"She thought that you wanted answers about Samantha more than you wanted her." 

He looked a little stunned. "She said that?" 

She nodded. "She tried not to, but it came out. That's pretty much what I thought, too." 

"It's not true. Well, not entirely true." He tried to find the words. "I wanted to know what happened, and I may have fixated on that a little." He snorted. "I _know_ I fixated on that a _lot_. It kept me going sometimes through things that should have stopped me. But just because I'm still looking doesn't mean that I'm not glad that you're here, and that you're all right. I don't want it to have to come down to a choice." 

"I don't _blame_ you for any of this, you know." 

"I know." 

"Do you? Did your parents?" 

"No. I don't think so. Maybe unconsciously, my mother," he said. "I don't know." 

"And you've been doing this for twenty years. I can't imagine. I certainly wouldn't stop you from trying to find your answers." She looked at him wryly. "And, if you're anything at all like me, you wouldn't let that stop you even if I did." 

"Poor Alex." 

"What?" 

"There's _two_ of us." 

Alex drove around a little before heading back to the apartment. The two stops he had to make were a lot quicker than he anticipated. He hoped it wouldn't be too obvious that he had killed some time on the way back. He touched the food on the seat. Still hot. 

He despaired of Mulder and his sister ever being able to find some common ground. Beth was great, but she was exactly what she said�stubborn and opinionated and single-minded, in a completely different way than the man he loved. She said what was on her mind most of the time, whereas he had to pull teeth sometimes to get Mulder to talk to him at all. He could see Mulder searching desperately for the sister that he had lost, a little girl with pigtails. 

Still, he had to give the man credit. His entire world had turned around in a matter of months�from confusion and disaster, stumbling blocks at every turn, to having almost everything that he had ever looked for, and then some. Alex had known for a while that their relationship was possibly the _least_ problematic thing that Mulder had going for him. 

And yet, it was the little things�like Sarah Mulder. It wasn't as if Mulder could turn his mother around single-handedly, but to help her a little, insist that Alex be included in some things, would help. 

He shook his head and turned down their street. One thing at a time, one day at a time. _There's got to be a twelve-step group for lovers of stubborn FBI agents._

"I love you." 

It was three am. After a long night of greasy food and bad horror movies, they had finally all drifted off to bed, Beth discreetly taking the far bedroom from theirs. She borrowed a pair of pjs from Alex, eschewing the bottoms for the oversized top. 

Mulder was holding Alex, running his fingers through his hair. Alex looked up at him. "I love you, too." 

"You hardly ever say that." 

"Don't I?" 

"Uh-unh. You usually say, 'I know.' I just took that to mean the same thing." 

"Well, it does, but I'm sorry. I'll remember that." 

"I kind of liked it, actually. I know you love me." Alex smiled at him. Mulder was rubbing his neck, now. He was silent for a moment, before asking, low, "Who hurt you?" Alex stiffened. Mulder felt it and kept rubbing his neck, slipping his fingers down to his shoulders and up again. "I mean, I know�me, and the job, and everything like that. I meant before." 

"You didn't hurt me�" 

"No dodging the question. You know more about me than I do about you. You can hardly have had a normal childhood to end up where you did." 

Alex was quiet, thinking. He could feel Mulder's fingers touching him, reassuring him, loving him. He wanted to tell him everything, but sometimes there's just too much to say, and no way to start. 

"I don't know what I can tell you. I want to, I want to tell you the whole story of who I am, but I don't know what's important. What can I say that will tell you what you want to know? Immigrant parents, my father died when I was ten, my mother�" he stopped, searching for words. "I always got the feeling that my mother didn't _like_ me. She loved me, she took care of me before and after my father died. But she didn't ever tell me�that I mattered. Does that make any sense?" 

"Yes." Pause. "Did she tell you that she loved you?" 

"Every day. It just never seemed like more than a string of words, somehow. She meant it, and she wasn't cruel�she just didn't care, I guess." He sighed. "It was hard for her�hard to find work, and feed us sometimes, and get me to school. She just didn't have enough time left to coddle me." 

"Making your child feel loved isn't coddling. Even when I was young, and after Samantha was gone, I never had the feeling that my parents didn't care about me. Even when _I_ didn't care about me, I knew they did. I felt it too much, sometimes, but it was always there." He kissed Alex. "I mean it when I say it, you know." 

"I know." 

Mulder smiled. "That's better." 

The scream woke both of them out of a sound sleep. Mulder was up, gun in hand, in an instant. Alex followed him, with Mulder's second gun. 

They found Beth huddled in middle of bed, shaking. She took one look at their artillery, and put her hands up. "Remind me never to have a bad dream at your place again," she said, with half a smile. 

Mulder put his gun on the nighttable, and sat down beside her. "What happened?" 

She shook her head. "I don't know. Just a dream. Probably indigestion." 

He looked at her skeptically. 

"Okay, okay. I had a nightmare. No big deal. Probably a combo\ of too much food and really bad movies." 

"Do you remember what it was about?" 

"Nope." She said that much too fast. He and Alex looked at each other, then Alex made for the door. "I'll make some tea," he said. 

"You don't have to," she started, but he was gone by then. "I don't remember," she said to Mulder. 

He nodded at her. "We should start a support group." 

She looked at him curiously. 

"We all have nightmares," he explained. "Although Alex and I have been pretty good lately, you never can tell what will bring them on. Have you been having them a lot?" 

"No. Just lately. I think it's seeing all the pictures, hearing the stories. It's a little eerie." 

"Do you think you may be remembering?" he asked, trying not to sound too eager. 

"I don't know. I don't think so. Will I be able to tell, though? Maybe I'm just dreaming about things that you've told me." 

"I couldn't tell you everything. It's possible that the stories that you're hearing are triggering memories of your own. If you remember something that I haven't told you�" 

Alex came back to the room. "We're all out. Would Yoo-Hoo do?" 

Beth laughed. "It's okay. I think I'm fine, now." 

"You sure?" Mulder asked. 

"Yeah. Hell, I should sleep wonderfully now, knowing there's two well-armed men prepared to defend me." As they were leaving, she called out, "Oh, and don't worry. If I hear a yell from your room, I _won't_ come running." 

Mulder yelled back, "Brat." 

They could hear her giggling. 

The next morning, they woke as usual, tangled up in each other. It was Sunday, a lazy time for them, a rare morning they weren't rushing to get to work, when they were both actually in the same city. Mulder's work with the X-Files was taking him less and less out of town, but with Dana planning to leave the department for Quantico after her wedding, Alex had a feeling it would only get worse. 

They were kissing when they heard the phone ring. Before either of them could get it, it was answered. "Got it," Beth called from the living room. 

There was silence for five more minutes, then a knock at the door. 

"Are you guys decent?" 

"That's a loaded question," Alex muttered. 

"I heard that."

"Yes, we are, come in," Mulder said, snuggling up to Alex. 

Beth strode in. She was showered and dressed, and looked more refreshed than she should have after the late night. She perched on the edge of their bed. 

"That was Dana. She wants me to meet her for brunch with her mother to talk wedding plans. Apparently Mrs. Scully won't let her get away with as much of a shotgun wedding as she'd hoped." 

"Poor Scully," Mulder mused. "Thank god Mom didn't say the same about us." 

Alex punched him. "Yeah, but you'd've looked great in the dress." 

"Me? You have the figure for it." 

"Hey�"

"Boys, boys, really," Beth raised a hand. "I'm out of here. I made coffee, if either of you are planning on surfacing this morning." 

"How are you getting back to the hotel?" 

"Called a cab. It should be here soon. I'll call you later on and let you know if Dana survived." 

"Give her our sympathy." 

After she had left, Alex turned to Mulder. "What were we doing?" 

"I don't remember. You have any ideas?" 

"Not one. I suppose we could get up." 

"Hm. I've got some files I need to read over for the morning, and a report to finish. You?" 

"We need food. And the drycleaning should be done by today." 

Mulder kissed him, passionately. "We _could_ stay home and have sex," he said, nibbling on an earlobe. 

Alex pretended to think this over. "We _could_ ," he said, letting out a moan. 

"Well, then?" 

"Oh, hell," he said, climbing on top of Mulder and locking their hands together. "Who needs food?" 

Beth spotted Dana and her mother sitting in the glassed-in patio section of the restaurant they had chosen. "Sorry I'm late," she apologized. "I have got to get a car." 

"We've only been here ten minutes," Dana said. "Mom, this is Beth Locke. Beth, my mom." 

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Scully." 

"Please call me Margaret," the older woman said. "I hope you can help me talk some sense into my daughter." 

"Mom�"

"Dana, I don't know how you expect to put together a wedding in two weeks. Don't you agree, Beth?" 

"I'm afraid I'm the wrong one to ask. I eloped." She shrugged. "It wasn't fancy, but it got the job done." 

"See?" Dana said. "I'm not eloping, I just want something small. I'll get a dress, and have some flowers, but no church." 

"And you're adamant about that." 

"I'm afraid so, mom. Walter's not even Catholic. A civil service will be easier all the way around." She patted her mother's hand. "Maybe later we can talk about some sort of church service. But right now, we just want to get married and get on with our life together." 

Her mother nodded. "It's your decision, Dana. I'm just glad that you've found someone to be with." 

She had been worried about her daughter for a while now. Even over the phone she could tell that she wasn't happy with her work, and her life was at somewhat loose ends ever since she and Fox had cracked open the government conspiracy. She had hopes that the two of them might realize their attraction to each other, but that had dashed away once Fox had become involved with Alex Krycek. Still, Walter Skinner was an extremely nice man, even if he did take a while to warm up to. And she had no doubt that her daughter would be happy. Best of all, she was going to be out of the firing line�a good teaching job at Quantico. All around, the wedding would prove to be a good thing. 

"Well, if you're sure, I guess we can look at these to get an idea of what sort of dress you want." 

"Oh mom, not bridal magazines." 

"You _have_ to read these," Beth laughed. "Even I read them, and I got married in jeans." She started flipping through the pages. "Look - 'How to Make Your Wedding Night a Success.'" 

Dana groaned. "Waiter," she raised an arm. "I need a drink." 

Alex writhed in the bed, head thrown back, digging his hands into the mattress. "Please," he cried out. 

Mulder was torturing him. He would actually die, he was sure, before he was allowed to come. 

"Mulder, please," his voice was getting more shallow, the tone more desperate. He was again brought to the edge, and again denied any release. The mouth on him would move away, suckling at his thighs, up his stomach, before coming to rest once again on his straining erection. Finally, he could take no more. He grabbed Mulder by the arms and pulled him up to attach their mouths together. Rubbing himself against Mulder's hip, he came desperately hard. 

When he could catch his breath, he opened his eyes to see Mulder looking at him with amusement. 

"Better?" he asked. 

"You," Alex was panting, "you are a cruel man, Fox Mulder." 

"Ah, you see," he said, kissing him. "I said I was fair, and I said I was honest, but I never said I wasn't cruel. Besides, you have no idea how beautiful you are when you're out of your mind with passion." 

"So the next time we'll take a picture." 

"You didn't enjoy it?" This was said with mock-hurt. 

"Oh, I enjoyed it." He pushed Mulder over, slid their bodies together, and suckled at his neck. "I just have to try harder now, that's all. It's going to take me a while to think up something as good to do to you." 

"I can't wait." 

"With any luck, you won't have to." 

The three of them spent most of the rest of the day in a bridal shop, Dana trying on progressively more and more elaborate wedding outfits, her mother critiquing, and Beth attempting to referee. Dana had started out with a simple cream-coloured Armani suit. 

"You're not wearing white?" 

Beth bit her lip to smother her smile, and looked politely away. She knew if she caught Dana's eye, they'd both be done for. 

"Mom, I don't think Armani makes a white suit." 

"Well, why does it have to be a suit? You look�normal, for you. Couldn't you try something a little dressier?" 

"Mom�" she sighed. "Okay. Find me something with a skirt, then." 

She had absolutely drawn the line when it came to veils, and hats always made her face too round. Beth suggested a simple opal barrette to hold some of her hair off her face. After going through several outfits, they finally all agreed on a three-quarter length dress, cream-coloured, very slim, in silk with a matching jacket. She managed to find some shoes that didn't have to be dyed. She settled in a chair, exhausted. 

"Now for you two." 

"I have some perfectly nice dresses that I could wear," Beth protested. 

"Yes, dear, it doesn't matter what we wear. The attention is all going to be on you." 

"Oh, no, if I'm trying on dresses, you're trying on dresses. Now start!" 

They looked at each other and headed for the racks. 

There was a message for Beth at the hotel when she got back at six. 

"Hey, did the three of you get kidnapped by a deranged wedding planner?" There was a little too much glee evident in her brother's voice. "It's five-thirty, and Alex and I are heading for Milano's. Join us if you manage to get away in one piece." 

"That's it," she said, slipping off her heels and rummaging in her closet for a pair of clean jeans. "I have definitely got to get a car." 

Milano's was a boisterous sports bar, featuring cheap pitchers of beer and an enthusiastic crowd on Sunday nights. Beth found her brother and his lover at a table, cheering on the basketball game being broadcast on several tvs in the place. She snagged a mug off the bar and sat down. 

"Who's winning?" 

"We are, of course," Alex said. "We always win." 

"Ah, and which team would that be?" 

"Whoever wins," Mulder smiled. "We always back the winner." 

"Smart choice." 

"So, how did your day go? Is Scully still in one piece?" 

"Thankfully, yes." She grabbed a couple of bowls of peanuts off the bar. "She and her mother managed to reach a detente over the dress. We are all suitably attired, all we have to do is get the alterations done in time." 

"I suppose we should talk to Skinner about what he wants us to wear." 

"I cannot believe how lucky you guys are! Go out, rent a tux, get some shoes, and you're all done. That'll take what, an hour? There should be places that rent out women's clothes." 

"Hungry?" Alex asked. She had demolished one bowl of peanuts, and started on another. 

"Yup. I ate light for breakfast, so I could be skinny to try on clothes. I'm starving." 

"If you keep eating like that, they're going to have to alter your dress ten times before the ceremony." 

"Waiter!" she deftly stopped one in passing. "Two orders of suicide wings, and another pitcher. It's on them," she indicated the men. 

"Suicide wings?" 

"Oh, Alex, you haven't _lived_ until you've tried suicide wings." 

"What are your plans for tomorrow?" Alex asked her, after they'd eaten. 

"Well, I'm definitely going to rent a car, first of everything. I hate having to wait for cabs all the time. And, tomorrow afternoon, I get to go to Immigration." 

"I'd forgotten all about that. Do you want me to go with you?" Mulder asked. 

"No. I'm expecting an exercise in futility. I'll probably be sent back and forth through dozens of different departments trying to figure out the mess of my citizenship. You'd think it would be simple, wouldn't you? I'm American by birth, lived here for ten years, then went to Canada for twelve years and married a Canadian. I should have dual citizenship. Except that I've got a Canadian Social Insurance number, and a passport that says I'm Canadian. And I've been paying taxes there for twelve years." 

"I don't envy you." 

"I don't envy me, either. I've gathered together all the records that I could find, and I'm just going to have to let them tell me what to do. I'm just hoping that they don't kick my butt out of the country." 

"If they try anything, I have one or two contacts in high places that I could call upon to smooth things out for you." 

"Oh, good. I may need you to contact them for me, if the going gets rough." 

"Consider it done." 

She looked around. "Have you considered where you're taking Walter for the bachelor party?" 

"Bachelor party?" Mulder asked. 

"You're the best man, it's your responsibility." A wicked gleam came into her eyes. "I've heard they do a nice strip show at Bottleneck," she said, before taking a sip of her beer. 

Her brother glared at her, while Alex tried not to laugh. Bottleneck was a popular underground gay bar, with all-male strippers three nights a week. "Somehow, I don't think that Skinner would consider that to be a suitable venue for the end of his bachelorhood." 

"You never know," she said, demurely. 

"You'd probably have a better chance of getting Dana there." Alex was laughing now. 

"They don't let women in, silly." She sighed. "The level of discrimination is shocking, don't you think?" 

"And you've been there and tried to get in?" Mulder was getting more interested in this conversation. 

"I�I�I think I've got to powder my nose." She made a beeline for the ladies' room. 

"Did you take her there?" he demanded of Alex. 

"I'm not getting in the middle of this. We haven't spent every night with her, you know. She's probably been out on her own." 

"It sounds like she knows D.C. better than we do." 

"Speak for yourself. I just never thought you were particularly the gay bar type." 

"And you are?" 

"Well, I used to go out once in a while. But that was different, Mulder. I've been gay my whole life, pretty much. It's where you meet people." 

"Do you miss it?" 

"The meat market? Hell, no. It was mostly pickups, you know. Nothing serious. And if I never have to do it again, I'll be happy." 

Beth came back from the bathroom. "So, are we done here?" 

Mulder raised an eyebrow at her. "I guess so. We really should get home." 

"Me, too. I've got a busy day." 

"I'll call you tomorrow night. Let me know if you have any problems before then." 

"Cool." She bent to kiss both of them goodbye. "See you tomorrow." 

Mulder was quiet on the drive home. 

"What?" Alex finally asked. 

"I don't know. I'm worried about her." 

"The nightmare." 

He nodded. "That, and different things. She's handling everything a little too well, don't you think? I'm worried that she's going to crash soon." 

"It's certainly enough to send anyone over the edge. If she's starting to remember things from her past�" 

"Exactly. I think I'm going to talk to her about seeing someone." 

"A therapist?" 

"I think it would help. At least we could find out if these nightmares are just dreams, or repressed memories. She could be a good candidate for hypnotherapy." 

"She may not agree." 

"I don't know. I think she wants to find out the truth as much as I do, now that she knows that there's something to look for. Before, it was just a big blank. Now that we're filling in some of the pieces, it would be easier for her to tell if what she's remembering is real." 

"I do think you should talk to her. Just be prepared for her to say no. It will be frightening for her if she does it, and it may not even lead to anything." 

"I know. I wasn't even going to bring it up, except for the nightmare." Mulder sighed. "At least if we get her to a therapist, he may be able to help her with those." 

"Sounds like a good idea." 

She awoke suddenly, covered in sweat. Gasping for breath, she sat fully up, only peripherally aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

She looked at the clock. 3:17 am. 

The dream had been so _real_ �just like the other ones. She was falling, falling a long way, in a long flannel nightgown. She was a little girl�scrawny, scared. She couldn't find anything to hold on to. 

She was Samantha. 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	6. Beth

 

Beth

  
**Beth  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
She was getting better at hiding it. That she was sure of. The boxes of chamomile tea, the cucumbers, the face in the ice baths in the morning�all of these were helping her hide the puffiness, and lack of sleep. The fatigue hadn't caught up with her yet. 

She wasn't quite sure when she would crash, but she knew that she had to hold on till June 1st. If she could just make it through Dana's wedding, then she could get some sleep. Maybe find a sympathetic doctor, get some sleeping pills. Just for a couple of nights of uninterrupted sleep. 

The dreams were overtaking her. She couldn't stay anywhere overnight�she begged off invitations from Dana and her brother. Now that she had her rental car, it was easier just to drive herself back to the hotel, and wait. 

Wait for the nightmares that invariably jerked her out of her rest, drenched with sweat, crying out for�for what? For her childhood? For her family? For her brother? 

For it was always her brother's name that she was calling when she awoke. 

"Fox!" 

"Do you realize that this is the first time we've had lunch together in months?" 

"I realize that we never really had lunch together before then, except as part of work," Dana said dryly. She surveyed her soon to be ex-partner. "What's wrong?" 

"I'm concerned about Beth. I wondered if you'd noticed anything strange going on with her." 

"She's been caught up. We all have. Every time I see her, she seems all right, but there's something a little�" 

"Off," Mulder finished for her. "I know. I've had the same feeling. I can't put my finger on it, but it's there." 

"Did you talk to her about seeing someone?" 

He nodded. "She said she'd think about it, but we haven't talked about it since. I think she's afraid." 

"Well, everything certainly couldn't be happening at a worse time, with the wedding and all. She's been great�my mother loves her." Mulder smiled. "But it's all so involving that none of us has been able to do anything for her." 

"Scully, don't feel bad about getting married. This should be your time, you should be happy." 

"Both of us should be. We're both having a life� something that I never thought I'd see either of us doing." She laughed. "The next thing you know I'll be an old married lady." 

"Not long now, is it? Nervous? Cold feet?" 

"No, and you can just stop what you're thinking. I know what I'm doing, and I can't wait." 

"I wasn't trying to talk you out of it, I'm just trying to make sure you're sure." 

She got a silly smile on her face. "What?" he asked. Dana blushed. 

"When we were working together, did you ever think that we�" she stopped, grinning. 

He was smiling, too. "Uh-huh." 

"In another life, I guess." 

He nodded. "I guess so. In a perfect world we can have all the things we want. In this one, we muddle through with the things that we get." 

"How romantic." 

"But it's good. I love Alex, and if I don't screw it up, it can only get better." 

"Well, don't screw it up, then. You're a revelation, Mulder. Love has really changed you." 

"For the better, I hope." 

"Well, you couldn't possibly have gotten any worse." At his startled look, she grinned. "Gotcha." 

He grimaced at her. "Six months ago it would have been true." 

"Six months ago it was true. But that was the past, no changing it. And now�" 

"Now all I have to do is get my sister back." 

"Mulder�" 

"She's in there, Scully, and she's trying to come out. That's what I think is happening. We just have to figure out how to help her." 

They had tried again, with Sarah Mulder. A lunch, this time, in a nice restaurant, in neutral territory. It was quiet, and polite, and awkward for all of them. Beth had been unnaturally silent, mostly, and Sarah had for the most part chosen to ignore her. Mulder had tried unsuccessfully to bridge the gap. 

When he finally saw his mother out to her waiting cab, he stopped her. "This isn't just going to go away, mom. You can't just pretend it's not her." 

"It isn't her!" Sarah had said, angrily. "My daughter was ten years old, a child. This _girl_ , whoever she is, is not my Samantha. We are never going to get her back, Fox. I wish she'd just stayed where she was." 

"Mom�" 

"Do what you want, Fox. But I don't want to see her again." 

He went back to the restaurant. Beth wasn't angry, just resigned. "You can't force this on her, you know. If she accepts me, or if she doesn't, it's her choice." She kissed him on the cheek. "I gotta go." 

"Are you okay?" 

She nodded. "Fine. I'll call you later." 

He watched her go, a troubled look on his face. 

"I know that she's not telling me everything. I don't know how to get her to open up, though." 

"Maybe you'll just have to get her to see someone else. It was a good idea, to set something up with a therapist. Make her an appointment." Alex brushed his fingers through his lover's hair. "Give it to her and see if she goes. Maybe it'll be easier for her if she's talking to a stranger." 

"But I _am_ a stranger! That's the problem." 

"You're a stranger, and you're not. She's your sister, and she's someone you just met. It's an impossible situation." He kissed him. "I know I've said this before, but time really is the only thing that's going to make this any better." 

Mulder sighed. "Why do you love me again?" 

Alex smiled. "There are too many reasons to list. Because you care, because you love, because you feel things so deeply. Because of your eyes" he kissed Mulder's eyelids "because of your smile" kiss "because of your hands" two kisses, one on each. "Mostly because you love me back. That always makes it easier." 

"I do love you back." 

"I know," Alex said, softly. 

Mulder shifted against the couch, taking Alex with him. "How about, when we get things more settled, I take some time off, and you take some time off, and we go away somewhere and be naked for a couple of weeks." 

"Somewhere warm, I take it." 

"If you insist. Or somewhere we'd have to find ways to warm each other up." 

"Ooh, I think I like that idea. When?" 

He thought for a minute. "After my life is normal again?" 

"Mulder," Alex rolled over and pinned his lover against the couch. "I'll be ten years dead before your life is normal." 

"Well, your ashes and I will have a wonderful vacation." 

_I can do this. It's just a dream. I'll wake up, I'll be fine._

Beth opened her eyes, looking at the clock. 2:48am. _Wonderful. I managed to get three whole hours tonight._

She sighed and got up to begin her nightly ritual. Wash her face, change her soaked nightgown, and slump onto the couch in front of the television until sleep overcame her again. 

"How do people do this?" she wondered aloud. Flipping channels, she found her favorite infomercial�well, the one she hated the least�and put down the remote. _I wonder if I could make money cutting people's hair in my own home with that thing._

She fell asleep again at 5, only to be awakened by the phone at 7. 

"Good morning. This is your wakeup call. It is now 7 am." 

Nothing like being awakened by a cheerful, mechanical voice.

_Yeah, _great_ morning._ She pulled herself off the couch, and headed for the bathroom. _Two days. Two days till the wedding, then I can get some rest, get some help, jump off a bridge..._

"Okay, okay. Just kidding about the bridge thing," she re-assured herself. "It's just a nightmare. It's not real. It's not going to get me." 

Her room service arrived ten minutes later. Always the same thing�eggs, toast, and a tossed salad. The maid had long ago stopped noticing the quirks of the hotel guests. Better way to remain sane. 

She grabbed a piece of toast, and dug around for the cucumber slices from the salad. She lay back down, chewing the toast, listening to the news on the tv, and feeling her under-eye swelling go back down. 

At 8 she was dressed and ready for the day. _Nobody the wiser,_ she thought, looking at herself critically in the mirror. Just enough concealer, not too much makeup. "I'm fine," she said aloud. "Not a problem." 

She grabbed her purse, coat, and car keys, and headed out the door. The front desk clerk stopped her with a message from her brother. 

"Damn, I nearly forgot." She used the phone in the lobby. "Yes, my name's Beth Locke, and I'm scheduled for a one o'clock appointment with Doctor Hanson. I'd like to cancel." 

This morning was the meeting at the dress shop�the final fitting, or what had better be the final fitting. The first, and what was supposed to be the last, alteration on her dress had resulted in a bust size that was about 6 inches too big. She had tried on the dress and burst out laughing. She came out and Dana groaned. 

"Who did you make this for," Beth giggled. "Dolly Parton?" 

When the bust had been fixed, the hem was the wrong length. Beth was beginning to think that there was something cursing the dress. 

"Ready to try on the dress from Hell again?" Dana asked her. 

"I'm afraid."

"Me, too. If it doesn't fit this time, you have my permission to wear jeans and a t-shirt." 

"Goody. I hope it doesn't." 

But it did. She tried it on, carefully turned in front of the mirror, and gave Dana a skeptical look. 

"What's wrong with it this time?" 

The seamstress was holding her breath. 

Dana looked at it critically. "Turn again." 

She turned. 

Dana shook her head. "I can't find anything. It looks fine." 

"I know. I'm going to have to spill something on it." 

The seamstress looked shocked. 

"You are not!" Dana said. "You are putting that in a plastic garment bag, and I'm taking it to my place for safekeeping. And then we are getting the hell out of this shop." 

"Yes, ma'am." Beth saluted her, then went back into the dressing room to change. 

"Thank god."

"Is this the last detail, then?" Beth called out from behind the curtain.

"That I have to do, yes. Walter's confirming our travel plans this afternoon, and I think that's it." 

"Less than forty-eight hours now, you know. Are you getting nervous?" 

"No, but if everybody doesn't stop asking me, I will be." She sighed. "I should have just eloped." 

"Oh, I don't know. I think you're doing the right thing. Not too big, not too small, and you'll get some nice presents out of it." 

"Tell me about it. They're arriving at my place from all of my relatives. Even the ones that aren't coming sent things, just to make me feel guilty." 

"I bet your mother is in heaven." 

"Seventh. I believe she had just about given up on me." 

"Well, at least she's speaking to you." 

Dana looked at her sympathetically. "You just have to give her some time." 

"I know. That's what I've been telling Fox. He just looks so� _disappointed_ all the time. Like he wanted everything to be wonderful instantly. I want it to be that way more for him than for me, now." 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm about as tired of being asked that as you are about your nerves." She smiled at her friend in the mirror. "Look at us. This should be the best time in our lives�you're getting married, I've found my family. We look like someone died." She pulled on her coat. "Do you have to go back to work?"

"No. Yesterday was my last day." 

"Whoa. Was it hard?" 

"Yes and no." She shrugged. "I'll miss it, and I won't." 

"Come on." Beth grabbed her arm. "Let's start the bachelorette party early, and go get drunk somewhere." 

"Not like the last time," Dana warned. "I want to be bright-eyed and bushy tailed on Sunday." 

"Don't worry. I'll go easy on you." 

"She cancelled?" Fox Mulder listened to the receptionist on the phone. Shaking his head, he thanked her and hung up the phone. 

"No go, huh?" Alex asked. 

Mulder shook his head. "No. She didn't reschedule, just called this morning and cancelled." 

"Maybe she found someone else to go to." 

"Maybe she just doesn't want to go at all. Maybe she doesn't want to find out what happened to her." 

"Hey," Alex put his arm around his lover. "No jumping to conclusions. Maybe something just came up and she couldn't make it. The wedding is in two days. After that, things will be a little more settled, and we can try again." 

Mulder sagged against him. "I know you're right, but I just want her to be all right, and I don't seem to be able to do anything."

"You're doing all the right things. You're offering to help. It has to be up to her to take that help." 

He nodded. "I guess I just have to keep trying." 

"It's all you can do. She'll come around." He hugged him. "Don't worry so much. We'll get through the weekend, and you'll talk to her on Monday." 

They made an attempt at a liquid lunch, but made the mistake of going to a restaurant that had good food rather than one with a cute bartender. They ate and ate until Dana pushed her plate away with a groan. "If I don't fit into my dress, it's all your fault." 

"You picked the restaurant. Besides, if we don't fit into them, we always go with the matching jeans outfits." 

Dana laughed. "Yeah, and my mother has a fit. She's been so reasonable about the ceremony and the date, I've got to give in about something. Dresses don't seem like such a big deal." 

"No, they don't," Beth agreed. "She's great." She paused for a moment, then said quietly, "She told me a little about Melissa the last time I saw her." 

"Wow, you really must have made an impression. She hardly ever talks about her." She smiled, wistfully. "I wish she could have been here to see this." 

"I think I'd have liked her." 

Dana nodded. "I think she would have liked you." She gave a laugh. "She hated Mulder." 

"Why, exactly?" 

"I always had a suspicion that deep down they both realized how much alike they were. They were very different people, but they had a shared passion for the unknown that they followed in such different directions that it pushed them apart." She shrugged. "But that's just my Psych 101 impression."

Beth got a clouded look for a moment. Dana picked up on it. "So, have you been to your appointment yet?" she asked, casually. 

"He told you, huh?" 

"Yeah. I think it's a pretty good idea." 

"Yeah, great." She sighed, then looked at her watch. "I'm supposed to be leaving the building right now." 

"You cancelled?" 

She nodded. "Yup," she said, then tried to explain. "I just can't do this right now. Next week, it'll be better. I just can't open up whatever he wants me to open up right now. I can't start something that might ruin this weekend." 

"Finding out about what happened wouldn't ruin anything, Beth."

"I know. I'm afraid that I'll just hear what I've heard so many times before, and it'll hurt Fox, Dana�you know it will. He wants to know so badly. I'm afraid of what he'll do when he hears that he won't ever know." 

"He'll deal with it. You have to know how much better it is for him now that he's not alone. He's got something besides work to hold on to, and it's wonderful for him." 

"I like Alex�he's a good man." 

"Yeah. Two years ago, I wouldn't have thought so, but now, I agree." 

Beth looked curious, so Dana explained a little. "Two years ago, I thought that Alex was one of our greatest enemies�maybe the one man who could explain everything that we were searching for. Until we found out that he was just another pawn, I thought he was evil incarnate." 

"I can't imagine." 

"No, I don't suppose anyone who knows Alex now could." She smiled. "But as for Mulder being alone, Alex isn't the only one he has now. He has you. He wants to help you�he's worried that you're taking this all on yourself." 

"Why doesn't he tell me this, then? Why just palm me off on someone else?" 

"I had no idea you felt that way. You should ask him." 

Beth sighed. "I didn't really mean that. I'm just�tired, I guess." 

"Maybe you should go home and get some rest." 

Beth nodded. "Yeah. I should." 

Three hours later, a knock on the door roused her from a much-needed nap.

"Why did you cancel?" 

He wasn't even through the door yet. She moved, letting him pass. "Fox, I couldn't make it. I had the final fitting today."

"This morning. Why didn't you reschedule? If it's the doctor, we can find another one�" 

"It's not the doctor. God, I don't even _know_ the doctor." She closed her eyes, calming herself down. "I just couldn't, okay?" 

"Not okay. You're having nightmares, you're avoiding me�" She started to protest, but he held up a hand, stopping her. "You are, Sa�" He realized what he was going to say, and cut himself off. 

"Yeah, Sam." She collapsed on the couch. "Dr. Freud, meet problem." 

He sat down beside her. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to stop myself from saying that, no matter how hard I try. I don't do it to upset you." 

"I know. And I don't not remember to upset you." 

"Is that how you think I feel? Beth, I'm worried about you. It's obvious that you're unhappy. I want you to be okay. You've moved so far from the woman that I met�god, was it only two months ago?" 

"I know," she said. "I know I have to do something. I just�don't want to do it alone." 

"Is that what this is? Beth, I'll do it with you. I'll be there. I _want_ to be there." He took her hand. "I'll do whatever it takes to help you." 

She nodded. "Okay. So we do this together. I guess you can make me another appointment." 

"Is Monday okay?" 

"You did it already, didn't you?" 

He nodded. She couldn't keep herself from smiling. 

The wedding was barely-controlled chaos. The flowers were late, the justice of the peace was early, the groom and the best man were valiantly fighting hangovers from a much-too-successful bachelor party. Who knew that Skinner was a basketball fan? 

Dana was being amazingly zen about the whole thing, calmly doing her hair and makeup while Margaret Scully and Beth ran around trying to remedy what seemed to be a disaster in the making. With coffee made and passed around, the flowers finally tracked down, and the jp chatting merrily with the groom, Beth collapsed on the bed. 

"Why are you taking this all so well?" she asked. 

Dana smiled at her. "Because, even if the house collapses around us, I'll marry him at a drive-through in Vegas."

Beth grinned. "Wow. The perfectly-adjusted bride. Who would have thought it could happen?" 

"I don't know about perfectly adjusted, but I'll take the compliment. It doesn't matter how it happens, as long as the 'I do' is heard at the end." 

"Exactly." Margaret Scully hugged her daughter. "I'm so glad for you." 

"Are you really, mom? You're not disappointed?" 

"Not in anything, honey. This is what you want. How could I be disappointed." 

Unnoticed, Beth stepped into the bathroom to give them a moment alone. She stared at herself in the mirror. _It can happen for you, too, you know_ she told herself. _It can happen._ She closed her eyes. _Oh, Jack, why did you die right when I need you?_ There was a tap at the door. "Right out," she called, wiping her eyes. She patted a washcloth over them and fixed her mascara. "So, are we ready to get married?" she asked brightly. 

Dana was right. In the end, the 'I do's came off perfectly. Mr. and Mrs. Walter Skinner�Dana smiled at that one, as did her husband, who knew she was keeping her name� were introduced to the gathered party to great applause. 

Walter's place was a little small for dancing, but they did it anyway. Until the guest list had increased exponentially, Dana had wanted to have it at her apartment. Because Walter's was bigger, the ceremony ended up there. 

The bride and groom insisted on everyone joining in on their first dance, so Fox held out a hand to his sister. 

"Well, it worked out," he grinned. 

"You had your doubts?" 

"Me? Never." He turned her. "You look good." 

She bowed her head. "Thank you. And you are lovely, as always," she teased. As he started to dip her, she warned, "You drop me, and you die." 

"I wouldn't dream of it. I took lessons, you know." 

"Really? When?" 

"In sixth grade. They made us do it in school. Thought it would make nice, well-mannered ladies and gentlemen out of us." 

"And did it?" 

"You tell me." 

She thought. "I think it worked perfectly well." 

It was his turn to bow. "How are you feeling?" he ventured.

"Good." Her smile was genuine. "I actually slept last night. My nightmares have probably just been stress." 

"If that's an attempt to get out of your appointment tomorrow�" 

"No, it's not. I promised. I keep my promises." 

"I'm glad to hear it." As the dance finished, he said, "I'll pick you up at eight." 

She smiled. "I'll be ready." 

Mulder finally had a chance to dance with his ex-partner about an hour later. The crowd was very lively�an interesting mix of FBI and Scully family clan. Surprisingly, they all got along. 

"Do you feel married?" 

"I don't know. I think the dress helps," she smiled. "Ask me tomorrow." 

"Fine. Give me the number of your hotel." 

"Mulder, don't even think of it." 

He grinned. "Taking your cell?" 

"No, so quit thinking of trying to find me." 

"It wouldn't be that difficult. I know where you're going." 

"I don't even know where I'm going! How did you find out?" 

"Well, let's just say your husband got a little loose-lipped at the bachelor party." 

She narrowed her eyes. " _How_ loose-lipped, exactly?" 

"Oh, don't worry. I had pretty much figured out what sort of underwear you like already." 

"Mulder!" 

He burst out laughing. "Has anyone ever told you you are an easy mark?" 

She briefly considered hitting him, then decided that the bride beating up the best man probably wouldn't make the best wedding photo in the album. "So, where am I going?" 

"I wouldn't dream of telling you. Let it be a surprise, Scully. You'll love it." 

She smiled. "I know." As the music was ending, she asked, "Why don't you ask Alex to dance?" 

"How would that look?" 

"It's a private party, and everybody knows you. Besides, do you really care?" 

He thought it over for all of two seconds. "You're right. I don't." He led her to her husband. "I believe your husband would like the honor." He kissed her cheek, and whispered in her ear, "Be happy always." 

They swayed in each other's arms. 

"This is very strange," Alex said. 

"Oh, I don't know. Feels right to me." 

"And if I kissed you?"

"It would just get better." He paused. "I'm waiting." 

"I think the level of Catholicism in the room is preventing me from doing it." 

"Then I will." Mulder leaned to kiss his lover. "I love you." 

"I know," Alex smiled. "Keep telling me, okay?" 

"Always." 

Dana and Walter were well on their way to the secret honeymoon destination before the party even broke up. Alex and Mulder made it home by three. 

Mulder was in the bathroom when the phone rang. "I'll get it," Alex called out. "Hello?" 

"Alexei?" 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	7. Alexi

 

Alexi

  


  
**Alexi  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
There was absolutely no good reason why he was doing it. A sane man would have ignored the call completely; but, then again, a sane man would probably never have gotten it in the first place. 

Alex was reasonably sure that he was sane, although a few of his decisions of the past few hours were making him wonder. Lying to his lover, sneaking out to meet one of the few people from his past that he didn't want dead�it didn't bode well at all.

The nightmare had woke him up at five am, drenched with sweat and utterly terrified. He hadn't made a single move, though, or a sound�he was incapable, in his dream� restrained, gagged, helpless. Mulder hadn't stirred as he got up and wiped his face with shaking hands. He slid back into bed with no notice. 

Mulder was up at seven, looking remarkably well for a man who'd only had four hours sleep. He left to pick up Beth, kissing Alex good-bye at the door. They made plans to meet for lunch back at the apartment. 

And so Alex had dressed, strapping on the shoulder holster that hadn't been worn in months, underneath the leather jacket; carrying the pistol in it which had once been his best defense, hiding a second weapon in the back of his jeans. He was careful, tense, and when he looked in the mirror, he saw a man whom he had thought was long dead. 

Alexei. 

"Why did we have to have such an early appointment?" Beth was yawning, drinking her terrible too-sweet drive-through coffee.

"It was the only time I could get this week." 

She smiled, not meeting his eyes. "You were so worried that I'd cancel again?" 

"Do you blame me?"

"Uh-unh. I commend you on your perception." She sipped a little more, grimacing. "What if I can't be hypnotized?" 

"That's not the only procedure that he uses, it's just the most direct, and the one that he's going to try first." He glanced at her. "It's going to be okay, you know." 

"I know. I'm supposed to be telling you, though. You've got more to lose than me." 

He was silent. She was taking this too well, again. Now that she had agreed to do something, she went into it with both eyes open. Of course, she didn't expect anything to come of it.

And, he _was_ the one who could lose. He could lose Samantha. Again.

"I wasn't sure if you'd come."

"I said I would. I always keep my word." He strolled over to her. "Why are you here?" 

She smiled at him, shrugged, "I was in town. I heard that things are going well for you. I thought I'd see for myself." 

He nodded, not smiling. "And who, may I ask, is providing you with your information these days?" 

She made a broad gesture. "Life, Alexei, teaches you a lot of things. Human nature, too. I knew you wouldn't leave him again." 

"It's Alex, if you don't mind." 

"Actually, I do mind. I mind being double-crossed. I mind being lied to. I mind a lot of things." She glanced down at his hand, gripping the table edge. "However, I think your name change could be overlooked." She smiled at him, tightly. "Certain other things cannot be, I'm afraid." 

"Are you?" He said, with a subtly even tone, and leaned towards her. "Are you afraid?" 

She started to laugh. "Now there is the Alexei I know." She clapped him on the shoulder. "It's good to see you again." 

"I'm going to attempt to put you under. Some people don't respond to hypnotic suggestion at all, so don't be upset if you don't. It can be expedient, however." Dr. Hanson glanced at Mulder. "Are you saying?" 

"I'd rather he did, if you don't mind," Beth said. 

"Of course, if that's what you want. As you asked, I'll be recording this session. I also have the list of questions that your brother wanted me to ask you." He lowered the lights in the office. His voice surrounded her, soothing her. She felt very tired, and very light, almost as if she was floating. 

"You're very young, just a little girl. I want you to tell me the first thing that you remember." 

"I can't reach it," she said, in a childish voice. 

"What can't you reach?" 

"I can't. The table's in the way. Mom, I can't reach it. Mom, make him stop. I can't reach it." 

"Where are you?" 

"Living room. He put it on the table, and I can't reach it." 

"What are you trying to reach?" 

"He put it there." 

"Okay. We'll get it for you. Can you tell me how old you are?" 

"Dunno. I want my doll back." 

"Can you tell me your name?" 

"'mantha 'lizabeth." Mulder glanced at the doctor. "I want my doll back," Beth said. 

"Okay, Samantha. I want you to move forward a little, now. You're five years old. It's your birthday." 

"Mommy, why can't I have a birthday party? Fox had a birthday party." 

"Why won't she let you have a party?" 

"I'm not that sick. It's itchy." 

"What's itchy?" 

"Fox said I have the chicken spots. I don't chicken spots. He said I'll turn into a chicken. I don't want to be a chicken!" 

The doctor smiled. "You won't turn into a chicken, don't worry." He glanced at Mulder, who nodded. He remembered torturing his little sister with wild tales that she'd turn into a chicken from 'chicken spots.' 

"Okay, you're over the chicken spots. You're eight years old. It's Christmas time." 

Her eyes lit up. "Daddy! Daddy came back. Daddy, what did you bring me?" She frowned. "Daddy?" 

"What did your Daddy bring you, Samantha?" 

"He forgot again. I wanted a snowball. He said he'd bring me a snowball. He forgot again." 

"Didn't he bring you anything?" 

She shook her head. "Just for Fox." 

"No, Juda, I don't want you dead." 

"I suppose I should be glad for that. Believe me, I know that if you did, I'd be dead already." 

"And you didn't think that you were taking a chance, phoning me?" 

"Oh, I remember a few things. I have some _fond_ memories of the past. Don't you?" She smiled at him. "Things weren't always so difficult between us." 

"No." 

"And I know that you'd do almost anything to keep that handsome lover of yours safe and happy." He bristled. "You're very loyal, Alexei," she soothed. "I believe that's the first I learned about you. It's the thing that most people don't know, isn't it? How very, very loyal you can be." 

"Perhaps you should get to the point." 

"Perhaps." She reached into her bag, and slid an envelope towards him. "I need a few things. Hardly anything important to the people who have them now, but somewhat urgent for me. I thought you might be able to help me." 

"You came all this way to have me steal something?" 

"Oh no, darling, don't worry, nothing like that. I just need a few�ideas, that's all. A little input. Simple, isn't it?" She stood. "Read that over. I'll get in touch with you in a day or two." 

He nodded. 

Before she left, she caressed his cheek. "Oh, Alexei, we really do miss you sometimes." 

He watched her leave. 

She was listening to the tape. "I still don't remember," she shook her head. 

"That's not unusual. The memories are there, you just can't access them. That's usually what memory loss involves�not a lack of memories to remember, but a loss of the tools of retrieval." 

"Why did you bring me back?" 

"I don't want to push you all at once. We can try again later and see what you remember." 

"But I thought you didn't have any more time this week. I don't want to wait to find out what happened." 

"Oh, believe me, I'll make time for this. You are a perfect case for hypnotherapy. I'm fascinated by this whole session." 

"Well, I guess I'm glad." She turned to her brother. "How are you?" 

"Sorry I told you you'd turn into a chicken." 

She laughed. "Don't be. I knew you were kidding. Probably." 

He hugged her. "Thank you." 

"Hey, it's for both of us, remember? And don't you dare get mushy on me now." 

He backed off. "I wouldn't dream of it." 

She groaned. "I just hope _I_ don't." 

He stared at the photos spread across the kitchen table. It seemed to be an ordinary warehouse, but there was something naggingly familiar about it. The blueprints weren't helping, either, nor did the address. But there was something - 

The apartment door opened. Mulder back already? Shit! 

He smoothly slid all of the contents back into the manila envelope, and pushed it into a stack of magazines on the counter. When his lover came into the room, he was leaning against the counter, sipping his coffee. 

"I was hoping that you'd be here." Mulder was flying about a foot off the ground. "She's remembering�well, under the hypnosis, but still! It's her. It's really her. It _feels_ like her. And we're doing something, and we're getting answers, and�god I love you!" 

Alex smiled. Mulder grabbed him and lifted him into a hug, spilling his coffee on the floor. Before he would let him pick up the pieces of the shattered mug, Mulder had him by the arm, dragging him to the bedroom. 

"Whoa,�Mulder? What the hell?" Alex was laughing. "The coffee�the mug�Mulder, it's only ten in the morning." 

"Oh, god, don't say that like it's a bad thing. Since when has time ever stopped us from making love?" He thought for a moment. "Don't tell me the honeymoon's over?" 

Alex kissed him. "No, but, don't you have to work?" 

"Took the day off. You?" 

He shook his head. 

"Don't tell me you're not in the mood." 

Alex cocked an eyebrow at him, and rubbed their groins together. Mulder gasped at the heat he felt radiating from the other man. "So, what's the problem?" 

"Problem? Who said there was a problem?" 

"I trust he was amenable." 

"Of course. He trusts me. You chose well, as always." She paused. "Besides, it's not as if he had a choice." 

"You made that clear." 

"I thought it was best to proceed as far as I can without threats," she said. "When they're necessary, then I'll use them." 

The pause on the other end of the line was uncomfortably long. Juda held her breath. 

"Very well," the voice finally said. "We will trust your discretion." 

She didn't let the breath out until she heard the dial tone. 

There were clothes shed from one end of the apartment to the other. Shirts in the kitchen, jeans in the hallway, a sock in the magazine stand in the living room, another hanging from the ceiling fan. A third was peeking out from under the bed, and the fourth was still on it's owner's foot. 

"Mulder�god!" 

The mouth was on him again. He was pinned to the bed, Mulder holding his wrists down, preventing him the slightest movement. His nipples were so hard they were actually sore, and still Mulder was biting at them, grinding his hips into Alex's rock-hard erection. They were both leaking copious amounts of pre-cum. 

"Mulder!" 

"Hm?" He sounded mildly distracted. 

He pushed against his lover again, but Mulder was deceptively strong, for his build. Even with the weight advantage, Alex had trouble moving him. And when he was determined to keep Alex in one spot, that was where he would stay. 

"MULDER!" he screamed it out, finally gaining his lover's full attention. When he had stopped moving against him, Alex said, quietly, "Fuck me now." 

Mulder's eyes widened, then narrowed knowingly. He turned Alex swiftly, uncaring that he was now laying on a painful erection. He spread him wide, spit on a finger, and pushed inside. 

It took only two thrusts before the finger was replaced by a much larger object. 

Alex muffled his screams into the pillow, thrusting back hard to finish their connection. Mulder lay completely atop him then, biting his neck and whispering roughly into his earlobe, "Don't move, or I'll stop right now." 

Alex took the threat seriously, gripping the bed with both fists and digging his feet into the mattress to keep from bucking and lunging back towards the man who was fucking him so slowly he thought he'd go insane. Each stroke was at least a minute long�completely in and completely out. Alex wavered in between euphoria and the greatest sense of loss he had ever experienced, unable to stop the sobs from escaping his throat. His entire body was one taut muscle. 

He exploded without moving, without being touched, with Mulder taking from him everything that he had to give, using him utterly. And still Mulder was hard and strong inside him. He was so hot he was going to go up in flames. 

His control was amazing. He managed to force another erection out of Alex, who finally couldn't stop himself from writhing, squeezing, _anything_ to make Mulder come inside him. 

The scream was so powerful that Alex didn't even realize that it came from him. 

She stood inside the doctor's office. "It's working, then." 

He nodded. "She's ideal. I couldn't have asked for a better patient." 

"Yes, well her brother was very hypnotically 'available', if you know what I mean. We suspected it might be a genetic predisposition." 

"It may just be force of will. Agent Mulder seems to be the type to do anything to get what he wants." 

"Yes. Well, I just wanted to make sure everything was going well. You know what we want." 

"You've made yourself very clear." 

"And you've received everything?" 

He nodded. 

"Well, Doctor Hanson, it's certainly been a pleasure doing business with you." 

When he felt Mulder collapse on top of him, he realized for a few minutes that he couldn't even _remember_ how to breathe. It all seemed much too difficult, as if he could just close his eyes and just be, not think, not feel, not anything. Mulder coughed a few times and rolled off of him. 

He was content to just lie there, feeling the warmth of Mulder beside him. They didn't ever have to move again. Slowly, he realized that Mulder's breathing was shallow. He peeked an eye open and looked at him. Instead of his flushed and sated lover, he saw a man with a thousand emotions running across his face, most of them bad. Alex moved to touch him, but he shrugged away. Forcefully, he grabbed Mulder by the shoulders and straddled him, holding him down. 

"I'm so�" 

But Alex cut the words off mid-stream. "Don't you dare," he whispered hoarsely. "Don't you _dare_ apologize! If that wasn't the best sex you've ever had in your life, I'd like to know what was." 

Mulder was silent. 

"I love you, and I trust you. I can't possibly find any words to tell you what just happened here, but I'm _yours_." He laughed. "That's such a small word to describe what we did." He shook his head. "For a moment there, I _was_ you, fucking me." 

Mulder stroked his cheek. "I know." 

"I know it scares you to lose control, but you have no idea what it does to me to see you like that. To know that you could do _anything_ to me, and I'd let you, and I'd love it, because I know that you love me." He rolled off of him and started laughing, feeling euphoric and a little hysterical. "I feel it so much when we're together. More, even, when you just lose yourself in me." 

"I don't understand that about you," Mulder said, turning towards him and taking him in his arms. "I don't understand that about _me_. It's just that I can look in your eyes sometimes and read your thoughts�see what you need." He shrugged. "I don't know where that comes from." 

Alex kissed him, plunging deep into his mouth, devouring him, possessing him. "It comes from you and me together. Honestly, Mulder, short of actually killing me, I don't think there's anything I wouldn't let you do." 

In a small voice, Mulder asked, "Did I hurt you?" 

"No!" Alex said, punctuated by another kiss, just as deep. "Physically, I'll be a little sore, but I've been sore before, and so have you." He grinned wickedly at the other man. "It comes with the territory. But no," he said, seriously, "you didn't hurt me. Please, please be okay with this, because I'm going to want it again, sometimes. It's just part of who I am." 

Mulder nodded. "I'll try. That's all I can say." 

"That's all I can ask." He snuggled up against Mulder's lean body, demanding to be held. 

"Shower?" 

"Well, I could probably stand, but as for walking�" 

Mulder groaned. 

Alex laughed. "I guess you'll just have to carry me." 

Dr. Hanson's office called to schedule Beth's next appointment for Wednesday morning. Just after Mulder got off the phone with her to arrange to pick her up, the phone rang again. 

"I'll get it," Alex said. "Hello?" 

He listened for a while, then rolled his eyes. Putting his hand over the receiver, he stage-whispered to Mulder, "Do we want to change our long-distance plan?" 

Mulder laughed, and walked into the kitchen. 

"Why the hell are you calling me here?" Alex whispered. 

"Oh Alexei, really! I knew you'd be answering the phone until I called. Nice catch, by the way. He was rather closer to it than you, this time." 

Alex closed his eyes. "Cameras?" 

"No, of course not. I'm not a voyeur, after all. I'm just protecting my investment. Besides, blackmail is such a sordid business." 

"I'm sorry if I insulted you," he said, dryly. "I haven't had a chance to do anything yet." 

"I know. I'm sorry if I seem a little impatient, but there is a certain level of urgency involved. I'd like to meet with you again on Wednesday. It gives you almost forty-eight hours. Is that amenable?" 

"And if it isn't?" 

She laughed. "All right. There is no question." She gave him an address. "Meet me at ten. And don't disappoint me, please. I hate to be disappointed." 

The next two days were a bit of a blur. They spent a lot of time in the evenings with Beth, trying to distract her. During the days, Alex was at the computer as soon as Mulder left for work, scrambling through old contacts and following long-unused leads to find the information he needed. 

Tuesday night, Beth slept over, so they could drive to the doctor's office again together. Mulder was a little restless in bed that night, excited at the prospect of the next therapy session, but Alex slept the sleep of the dead, perfectly calm and still. It was all too easy to fall into the old patterns�a half-sleep state that could lead to instantaneous wakefulness the instant any danger was sensed. He awoke his lover a half-hour early the next morning to make love, slowly, quietly. It was a reassurance, rather than a possession. 

Beth grinned at them as soon as they appeared in the kitchen. "I have got to get a life," she teased. 

Mulder laughed at her. "I highly recommend it." 

She snorted, "Well, it certainly hasn't done anything for _you_." 

He made a grab for her, and tickled her until they were both laughing. 

Alex smiled at their teasing. They were actually doing it, learning how to act around each other, becoming more comfortable. It could happen for them�they might be able to recapture something of what they missed. 

They all skipped breakfast, a little too nervous, although the pot of coffee disappeared quickly. 

"I guess this is it, then," Beth said. 

Mulder nodded. "We should go," he said to Alex. 

Beth went to get her coat and bag, and leave them for their goodbye kiss. 

"I love you." 

"I know." 

As soon as he saw Mulder's car round the corner, Alex slipped out the door. 

"Punctual as always." 

He looked at her. She might be mistaken for a college student, or a young mother, from anywhere. Her features were perfectly bland, completely forgettable. Only her eyes stayed in his mind. 

"I'd hate to keep you waiting. I can't stay very long. I'm sure Mulder will be expecting me to be home again this morning." 

"Oh, we have arranged for a little distraction for your boyfriend, Alexei. I'm sure he's much too wrapped up in business with his little sister to pay any attention to what you're doing these days. And you can distract him when you're together, no?" 

The colour drained from his face. "Samantha?" 

"Oh, don't worry, she's quite legitimate. It's just that we felt it was expedient to the cause that she reappear just now." Her teeth gleamed at him in the half-light. "It wasn't all that difficult to find her, given a few pertinent facts." She shifted her eyes away from him for a second, and when she raised them again, she saw the cool metal of his gun pointed at her. 

"What happened to her? Did you take her?" 

"Oh Alexei really! Such dramatics. You know I couldn't tell you, even if I did know." She shrugged. "It wasn't all on our side. There was co-operation. Certainly the father had a large part to do with it. Still, everything is very vague these days. Records have such a way of disappearing." Her smiled faded. "Something like people." 

He lowered the gun. She smiled again. "I enjoy it when we can be friends, Alexei. You give me what I want, and I leave you alone." 

"For how long?" 

"As long as I want. As long as they let me. There is no forever, you know." 

He shook his head. "No, there is forever. You just have to be dead to enjoy it." 

"And is your boyfriend teaching you such philosophy? It seems quite unlike you." 

"Oh, it has nothing to do with him, believe me." He passed her an envelope, like the one she had given him. "I think this is what you wanted." 

She opened it and scanned the single page that it held. Nodding her head, she smiled at him again. "You have done very well. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek. "This is all very Watergate, isn't it?" she said, looking around at the dark garage. "It's too bad we couldn't meet on a beach somewhere. Still�" She didn't continue her thought. As she was about to turn away, she stopped. "I have been told that this is the last time, but�you know how much words mean." She shrugged. "I will try to convince them to leave you alone." 

"Thank you, Juda." 

"Of course. Goodbye, and�love him, okay?" 

He nodded. It was the only certainty he had left to hold on to. 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	8. Sam

 

Sam

  
**Sam  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
He struggled against the bonds holding him, unable to wriggle himself free. The silk was rubbing into his naked flesh, teasing him. He looked up into the steady gaze of his captor, watching him with an amused smile. 

"You didn't really think you'd be able to get free, did you?" 

Alex shook his head. It was all very unreal, yet somehow familiar. Chillingly so, in fact. 

"You're my captive. I can do anything I want. Do you know what I want?" 

Alex said nothing. 

"I asked you a question." 

A gloved hand caught his chin, bringing his head up sharply. He focused on eyes dark with arousal. 

"No," Alex said. 

"No�" he prompted. 

"No, sir." 

"Better. You're getting better at this. Still not good enough to be released, though." He mused, quietly, his voice never raising the slightest bit. He was the perfect mask of calm. 

"Sir�" 

"Hm?" He sounded only mildly interested. 

"Would you�could I�" 

"Yes? Out with it!" 

"Fuck me please, sir." 

There was a terrible silence. Alex felt for one moment that he had suddenly ruined it all, that he was going to be left there, hard and unsatisfied, for the rest of the night. He was immediately scouring his brain for some form of apology. 

"Well, since you asked nicely�" 

With no more preliminary, Mulder released him, and flipped him over. They were both sweating with the strain of the game, aroused and needy. He was inside in an instant, with no preliminary. 

"God, yes�Mulder�yes�" 

He was nothing more than this, Mulder's toy, to be used. It was all that he wanted. And yet he was treated so well, always, given whatever he wanted, loved, adored, cherished. Sometimes it was too much for him to handle. 

He couldn't force his body to stop it's reactions. No matter how much control he thought he had, it betrayed him. It always wanted Mulder far too much. He came in a rush, stifling his scream with a fist. 

Afterwards, Mulder nuzzled his hair. 

"So, when are you going to tell me?" he asked. 

"Tell you what?" Alex asked, sleepily. 

"What I'm punishing you for." 

He stiffened, and said nothing. 

"Okay," Mulder said, finally. "Whenever you're ready." He soothed the tense body tenderly with his hands and mouth, drifting off into sleep. Alex's body relaxed, but his mind stayed fiercely awake for most of the night. 

The newlyweds had returned from their honeymoon after only ten days. It was all the time they had been able to cull away on such short notice.

Dana stopped by their old office to finish packing her stuff. 

"I'm surprised the boss man couldn't manage at least two weeks," Mulder teased, hugging her. 

She shrugged. "What can I say? Turns out he's merely a figurehead." She punched him. "That's for not telling me where we were going." 

"Hey!" he raised his hands. "Skinner threatened me with a permanent desk job, and no expense account." 

"Since when are you more afraid of him than you are of me?" 

"Well, you're currently running neck-and-neck. Now that you're married, I suppose you'll be presenting a united front." He rubbed his shoulder. "How was it, anyway?" 

"Beautiful. I wish we could have stayed a month. I've only been to Ireland once before, when I was a little girl." 

"See any relatives?" 

She groaned. "The last thing I wanted to do on my _honeymoon_ was see family. We squirreled ourselves away in a little b &b and didn't see anyone but the maid for eight days." 

He raised an eyebrow lecherously at her. "Why Dana Katherine! I'm shocked!" 

She laughed. "Hey, I get bonus points for shocking Fox Mulder." She looked around the office. "I'm actually going to miss this place." 

"You can always change your mind." 

She shook her head. "Nope. It's for the best, really. It's just not the same anymore." 

"No, I guess not," he agreed. "When do you start the new job?" 

"Day after tomorrow." She sighed. "How are things going with you?"

He shook his head. "It's been hard on Beth, but the therapy is continuing." 

"You still going with her?" 

"Yeah. It's just�hard, re-living it all. I don't know if it's harder on her or on me, sometimes. She seems to be taking it in stride, but this past week�" 

"What?" 

"The doctor has been getting her closer to the time of the abduction. It's scaring her, somehow." 

Dana nodded. "There must be a lot of memories coming back for her. To actually know what happened, I mean. It's unbelievable." 

"I get the feeling that it's more than that, though. It's as though she doesn't want to remember what happened _before_ the abduction. It scares her." 

"Do _you_ know what she's remembering?" 

Mulder shook his head. "I don't know, really. I remember our parents arguing a lot, and a lot of secrets. A _lot_ of tension, everywhere. But I can't think of anything specific. It _all_ seems important, in hindsight." 

"You're doing the right thing, you know, staying with her. Walking her through this. It's all you can do, and I know that it's frustrating, but she has to remember on her own. Just be there for her." 

"I can't do anything else." 

"Hard, isn't it?" 

"More than I'd ever have imagined." 

"And how is Alex?" she asked, casually. 

"Fine. At least that's what he says." 

She looked at him curiously. 

He shrugged. "There's something bothering him, and he won't tell me what it is." 

"It sounds as though you've switched personalities." 

He laughed. "I guess so. Who would have thought that _I'd_ turn out to be the well-adjusted one in this whole thing?" 

She laughed, too. "Well, I don't know if I'd go that far. Give him some time. He loves you." 

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's about the only thing that I'm absolutely sure of, these days." 

Alex was waiting for him when he got home that night. Mulder threw his keys on the kitchen counter, and slid his arms around him. 

"Hey," he said, nuzzling his ear. "How are you?" 

"I'm fine, Mulder," Alex said, catching his mouth in a deep kiss. "You're home early." 

"I couldn't concentrate. I haven't been a very effective member of the Bureau lately." 

"Well, that's hardly a surprise, with all that's been going in. Maybe you should take a leave for a little while, until everything straightens out." 

"Uh-unh," he shook his head. "I'm not wasting my vacation time. After this is all done, then we go away somewhere together." He lifted the lid of a pot on the stove. "Hey, you even cooked. Smells good."

"It's just stew. We can't eat take-out all the time." He stirred the pot, and put the lid back on. "I wanted to apologize for last night," he said, quietly. 

Mulder looked at him thoughtfully. "You want to talk about it?" 

Alex shook his head. "Not particularly." 

"Okay. I won't push you." 

"Thanks." 

They were silent for a moment. "Scully came by today," Mulder said, finally, opening the fridge for a beer. He handed Alex one. 

"They're back already?" 

Mulder nodded. "It was nice to have her there again. The office doesn't feel the same without her." 

"Have you thought anymore about leaving the X-files?" 

"I think about it all the time. The only problem is, I don't know what I would do instead."

"You could always put out your shingle and handle the crazies." 

Mulder snorted. "Oh, yeah, that's got a _lot_ of appeal." 

"Yeah," Alex agreed. "I suppose you have a lot to deal with already. Samantha, your mother, me�" 

"Hey," Mulder stopped him. "I don't _deal_ with you, I love you." He turned Alex so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Remember me? The man who loves you? Till death do us part?" 

Alex laughed. "Is this a proposal?" 

"Do you want it to be?" Mulder asked, thoughtfully. 

Alex sobered. "Are you serious?" 

Mulder nodded. "Yes." 

"Wow. You mean a commitment ceremony?" 

"That's all it could be. But, if it would re-assure you�" 

"I know you love me." 

Mulder smiled. "Yes. But maybe we should take the next step."

"I never wanted to jeopardize your job, or the way you're treated. We're reasonably discreet, now." 

"I don't care about any of that. If I _did_ get fired, at least the decision about whether to stay would be made for me. And they way people treated has never bothered me before. It couldn't possibly get any worse than it's been in the past." 

"I don't know," Alex shook his head. "We're not exactly 'gay couple of the week,' you know. Hardly anyone knows." 

"So we tell people. Or stop _not_ telling people. How about," he said, kissing him, "no more secrets?" 

Alex pulled away, silently, but Mulder wouldn't let him. He slipped back into the hug. "Tell me what you can, when you can, okay? I love you." 

"I know." 

"So when's dinner ready?" 

The hypnosis sessions had continued steadily, three times a week. Dr. Hanson was pleased with Beth's progress, but he didn't want to move her too fast, at the risk of possibly traumatizing her further. Both she and Mulder were frustrated by the slow progress, but they deferred to the doctor's decision. 

More bits and pieces had come out�remembered vacations, times in Martha's Vineyard, school teachers, relatives. Things were beginning to make sense for Beth�she was retaining more and more of the information after she had been awakened from the hypnosis. 

They were getting closer and closer to the time of the abduction. Beth had become more nervous, sensing that they were heading for some sort of a breakthrough, and Mulder felt as though he were walking on glass around her. The last session, she had become violently agitated at something that she remembered, some shadowy figure, although she didn't know who he was. 

"It isn't unusual," the doctor assured him. "If what she is remembering is a particularly painful or frightening experience, she is remembering it with all the feelings of a small child. She'll have all the same reactions that she did then, because it will seem real to her. When she's under, she thinks that she's a ten-year-old girl. She doesn't have any adult defenses." 

When Beth was once again hypnotized, he began to talk to her again.

"The last time, you were telling us about the man who was in your house. Do you remember, Samantha?" 

"Uh-huh. Why do you always call me Samantha?" 

"It's your name. What would you rather be called?" 

"Sam." 

"Okay, Sam. Can you tell us about the man?" 

"I don't like him. Mom doesn't like him. He makes her cry. I wish he'd go away. Daddy, make him go away." She paused for a moment, as if she were listening to something. "Fox, come here." 

Mulder answered automatically, before the doctor could stop him. "What is it?" 

"He's here again. Look." She pointed. "I'm afraid, Fox." 

"It'll be okay." 

"I'm going down there." 

Mulder was wracking his brain, trying to remember what she was talking about. He remembered lots of fights in the months before Samantha had disappeared, but nothing stood out. It was as he had told Scully� _everything_ seemed important. 

"Who are you?" She started breathing heavily, once again, as she had before. "Mom, help me! Mom!" 

"It's okay, Sam. You're okay. Nobody's going to hurt you," the doctor tried to soothe her. He turned to Mulder, who was watching, transfixed. "Do you want me to bring her out?" 

Mulder shook his head. "What's going on, Sam?" 

"He's yelling at her, but she won't stop crying. Mom!" 

"Is it the man? What does he look like?" 

She shook her head. "Daddy. He's just watching them. He won't stop them. Daddy?" She flinched back, as if she had been hit. 

"Sam?" 

"Oh, God, oh God. No, Daddy, no, it isn't, no�" She started crying hysterically, then. 

"Bring her back!" Mulder insisted. "Now!" 

"Samantha, listen to my voice. I'm going to count backwards from ten, and when I finish, you'll be awake and fully aware. Ten, nine, eight..." 

She was still shaking when she came out, holding her balled fists up to her face. Finally, she opened her eyes. "Oh, God," she panted. "Oh, God�" 

"Sam," Mulder said, automatically using the name. "What was it? What did you remember? 

She stared at him for a full minute, as if she were looking through him, rather than at him. "Oh, God," she said again, then bolted the office for the bathroom. She locked the door behind her, but he could hear her being sick. 

"Sam�"

Finally, the retching stopped, and she answered. "Give me a minute, okay?" 

"Okay." He went back to talk with the doctor. "What the hell was that?" 

Dr. Hanson shrugged. "I don't know. She's obviously had a breakthrough. It's whatever we've been leading up to, all these sessions."

"But it didn't seem to have anything to do with the abduction." 

"We've just assumed that that's what caused her trauma. We don't know that for sure. It could very well have been what she just remembered."

"But I would have known." 

"Not if she didn't want you to. Not if she didn't want to remember. She may have been blocking it, herself, ever since it happened." 

He went back out to the bathroom and knocked on the door. 

"She's gone," the receptionist said. 

"What?" 

"She left about a minute ago." 

"Dammit!" he said, and tore out of the office. By the time he got an elevator and made it outside, she was driving down the street. He ran to his car and followed her�on a path straight to their mother's house. 

When he was finally able to catch up with her, she was already in the house. He could hear her and their mother shouting as he came through the door. 

"When did he find out? Or did he always know? Is that why he treated me the way he did?" Her voice was terrible, edged with hysteria. Sarah Mulder looked afraid. 

"Of course it was no big deal to him, was it?" she continued. "To throw me away. Why would he care?" 

"Beth�" he started, startling her. 

"And you," she laughed, whirling to face him, "the chosen one. I could never figure out what I did. Why he hated me so much. But it wasn't my fault, was it, Mom?" she spit this last word out. "I never had a chance. Why didn't you just kill me before I was even born? A fall, something simple. Or did you try?" 

Sarah slapped her, looking stricken immediately after she did it. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Mulder asked both of them. 

For a moment neither of them spoke. Beth was staring with fury at Sarah, who refused to meet her eyes at all. "He still doesn't know."

Sarah shook her head. Beth nodded. 

"We were just discussing how decisions were made," she said, softly. "Why one child was taken over another. You were expecting anguish, weren't you? But it was easy for him. As easy as throwing away a daughter who was never really his." 

As these words sunk into Mulder's brain, she continued. "Should I ask who my father was? Or do you know?" 

"Does it matter?" Sarah asked, harshly. 

"No," Beth snorted, "I don't suppose it does." She turned and fled from the house.

Mulder was rooted to the spot. 

"You should go after her, Fox," Sarah said. "Something might happen." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, stunned. "Why did you let me think�"

"That it was you? You thought what you wanted to. It's the way you've always been." Her entire body sagged. "How was I supposed to tell you�my _child_ �that I had had an affair? That Samantha was only your half-sister? You were always closer than twins. I couldn't hurt you that way."

"Did you ever love her?"

"She is my daughter! Of course I loved her!"

"Then why did you let him do it?"

"It was a choice. I made a choice." 

He felt unbearably ill. "Then all this time, it was you. You made the choice. _You_ got rid of her." 

She nodded. "Yes. It was me." 

He left her standing there alone, feeling suddenly that he had never known this woman at all. 

A messenger arrived at the apartment. Alex smiled when he opened the package, then dialed the telephone. 

She answered on the first ring. 

"Thank you for sending them." 

He could hear her nod. "They've arrived. Good. I'm terribly impressed with the American postal service. Sign them and send them back, and I'll have everything processed." 

"It seems so simple." 

"Nothing is ever what it seems, is it? Still..." She paused. "Have you told him?" 

"No." 

"And if he finds out on his own?" 

He sighed. "I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it, won't I?" 

"That's the good thing about bridges, isn't it? If you come to one that cannot be crossed, you can simply jump off." 

He laughed. "Yes. Thank you, Juda." 

"You're welcome. Alex�" he could hear her hesitation "I sincerely hope that this is the last time that I'll speak with you." 

"Yes. So do I." 

"Be safe." 

"Don't let them hurt you, Juda." 

"Don't worry. They can't. They don't know how." 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	9. Juda

 

Juda

  
**Juda  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
She opened the door, and started laughing as she saw him there. She ushered him in with a sweep of her hand. "Drink?" she asked, pouring herself one. 

"Beth�" 

"You might as well call me Samantha. Everyone else does." She sipped her drink. "Why are you here, Alex?" 

He sat down hard. "I wanted to talk." 

She nodded. "Great. What do you want to talk about? Sports? The weather?" She pretended to think. "Hmm. How about my brother?" 

"He's upset, Beth." 

"I can imagine. It all must be really hard on him." She downed her glass. "Go home, Alex." 

The intercom at the door buzzed. "Ah," she said. "My cab. Sorry, babe, but I was just going out." 

"Cab?" 

"Uh-huh. I never drink and drive. Pet peeve." She grabbed a handbag and slipped into her shoes. "And I plan on going out and getting wildly drunk. Hell," she laughed, "maybe I'll just get lost again." 

"Beth�" he grabbed her arm. 

She twisted away. "Don't worry, Alex. I don't think I could. Not without some help, anyway. That seems to be the way it goes." She opened the door. "Go home. Tell him I'm fine. Tell him I'm terrible. I don't care. Just go." 

"Want some company?"

"I don't need a chaperone." She smiled after a moment. "Well, maybe I do, but I'm certainly old enough to refuse one." 

He bent his arm towards her. "Bottleneck?" 

"My god you're a pain in the ass sometimes!" she laughed. "Okay. But I swear, I'm going to ditch you if you start to drag me down." 

"Fair enough." 

Alex woke up the next morning with the unmistakable feeling of having a small dead animal in his mouth. He groaned, rolled over, and slid his arms around Mulder for warmth. 

Only, it wasn't Mulder that he was lying beside. At least, not the _right_ Mulder.

"Fuck!" he said, sitting bolt upright, and groaning again as a wave of nausea flowed over him. 

"Not quite," Beth said, turning over. "Not for lack of trying, though," she smiled, and slid out of the bed, wrapping a robe around herself. She walked into the bathroom, ran the water, and came back out with a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water. 

"Why do you look so good this morning?" he groaned. 

She beamed at him. "I told to take the aspirin _before_ you went to bed. It always pre-empts the hangover before it can start." She plopped down beside him. "Poor baby. What do you remember?" 

"Not a lot," he said, swallowing the aspirin, and looking speculatively at the bottle. Nope, only fifty. Not nearly enough to cure or kill him. 

"Well we did go to Bottleneck," she said. "Where you were _extremely_ popular. I successfully fended off most of your admirers, however. Then, after consuming half of the gin available in this city, we came back here." 

"Where we�" Alex prodded. 

"Where you became somewhat amorous, and, sufficiently intoxicated myself, I decided to give in to you." 

"And?" 

"Well, either you're unbelievably gay, I'm not nearly as attractive as I think I am, or we were both too drunk for anything to happen. I vote for 'c', myself." 

He sighed. "Beth, I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. I would have enjoyed it, but in retrospect, it probably would have been a mistake." 

He leaned back in the bed, then bolted upright for a second time. "Fuck!" 

"Now what?" 

"Mulder." 

"You called him twice last night. God, you really don't remember, do you? I'm sure he thinks you're here." 

"This is _so_ not good." 

"Alex, relax," she soothed him. "It'll be fine. You'll go home, you'll both apologize for whatever fight you had, and you'll get to have make-up sex." 

"We didn't have a fight." 

"So why were you here last night? And don't tell me it was because you were worried about me, because I know you care, but going out was not just about keeping me company." 

He said nothing, so she patted his arm. "Okay. You don't have to tell me. Believe me, I know what it's like." 

"Beth�" 

"Go home, Alex," she laughed. "And never speak of this. Nothing happened, nobody needs to know, okay? We got drunk, and crashed. That's all." She kissed him on the cheek. "Please take this in the right way�you're cuter than hell, but you're like a brother to me. And that's the way it should stay." 

"Will you marry me?" 

"In a second, babe�if Fox ever gets stupid enough to really let you get away." She stood up. "Go, shower. Breakfast?" she grinned evilly. 

He groaned, pulling the covers up over his head. 

Remarkably enough, the shower _did_ make him feel better. Not good enough to consider food, but good enough to re-consider the whole death thing. He walked out into the kitchen, to find Beth sitting at the kitchen table�with Mulder. 

"Hi," he said. 

"Hi." 

"Well, that was scintillating," Beth said, dryly. "Change your mind about breakfast?" 

"Ugh, no. Thanks. I'll have some coffee, though." 

"Coming up." 

"You okay?" Mulder asked, concerned. 

Alex nodded. "Just blowing off some steam with your sister." 

"You should have been there, Fox. We neatly split the room� half for him, half for me." 

"Popular, eh?" 

"Oh, definitely. I had to beat them off of him with a stick. Of course, he was ever-so loyal." She smiled at him. "I've got to find me someone like that." 

Alex smiled at her, grateful. "Did I tell you I was coming here last night?" 

"Actually," Mulder said, a little sheepishly. "I came to talk to Beth." 

"I could leave you alone�" 

"Don't be silly," Beth stopped him. "We're all family here. Besides, I know what you're going to say," she turned to Mulder, "and the answer is no. I'm not going to talk to her. I hardly think that she wants to speak with me, anyway." 

"Don't you want to know�" 

"Does it really make a difference, after all this time?" she sighed. "It was twenty years ago. It's all done, and it can't be undone. Whatever she did, she had a reason for. I'm sure she even thought it was a good reason. Maybe she still does." 

"She did it for me. She threw you away for me." 

"So what do I say to that? What can she say that will make any difference?" She took his hand. "I don't blame you. You were a kid \- we were both kids. Whatever happened to us, happened _to_ us, not because of us. God," she laughed, shaking her head, "I wonder if any of them had any idea what they were doing to us back then. I wonder if they cared." 

"But if I�" 

"No," she said. "I said some things that I did last night because I was angry, and hurt. I'm still hurt. But none of this was your fault. Don't do this to yourself." 

"I don't know how you deal with this so well." 

"I don't have any other choice. It's deal with it, or don't. Very cut and dried. Frankly, I don't think that analysing it or hearing all of the thousands of reasons is ever going to make it any better. Maybe, deep down, I just don't want to know." 

He nodded his head. She smiled at him. "I know you're not going to let this go. I guess we're not so similar after all, are we?" 

"I can't."

"I know. She's your mother, but she hasn't been mine for a long time. Do what you have to do." 

"But leave you out of it." 

She nodded. "Pretty much, yeah. Unless you think I should know something. I don't know. Tell me, don't tell me. You decide." 

"What about Dr. Hanson?" 

"God, I hadn't even thought about that." She sat still for a few moments. "I need some time. I just need a break right now." 

"Okay. It's your call." 

"Thanks. I'll let you know when I want to go back." She stood up. "I'm going to get dressed." She hugged both of them. "Let yourselves out, okay?" 

"Sure." 

She stopped at the doorway. "Oh, and Alex? Thanks for last night." 

They drank most of the pot of coffee in near-silence. 

"I didn't mean to stay out all last night, you know." 

"You called. I understand. It's okay." 

"Beth told me. To tell the truth, I don't remember half of what happened last night." 

"I'm sure she took care of you." 

Alex smiled. "Yeah, so she said." 

Mulder raised an eyebrow. 

"Someday, when we're old and gray, I'll tell you. Just not right now." 

"Fair enough." He took another sip of his coffee. "I'm sorry if I've been pushing you lately," he said, quietly. "I've just had a feeling that something is wrong, and I worry about you." 

"I know. I'm sorry. It's difficult." 

"Are you in trouble? Is it something that I should know about?" 

"No, nothing like that. It's just�some things in my past that I have to work out. I'll let you know when I can." He looked at Mulder a little sadly. "I know I'm not being very fair, but don't think that I'm shutting you out. I want to be able to tell you everything. I just need some time."

"Some time apart?" Mulder asked, quietly. 

"God no! Is that what you want?" 

"I just thought, if I'm pushing too hard�" 

Alex came beside him and pulled him up hard into his arms. "No, no," he whispered, kissing him. "You're wonderful. You're the best thing in my life. I love you." 

"I know." Mulder's smile was a little sad. 

"Hey," Alex said, hugging him harder. "With everything that we've been through, we'll survive this. We're working together, now. We clear this up, and then we go away and just be together. I'm holding you to your promise." 

Mulder groaned. "Sometime in this lifetime, I hope." 

Alex laughed. "Definitely. Love me?" 

"Always." 

He had a meeting with Skinner first thing at work. 10am, in the AD's office. He felt like a schoolboy at the principal's office. 

Except for the fact that he couldn't quite get the memory of Walter Skinner whooping it up at his bachelor party, with a very buxom young cocktail waitress on his lap, out of his mind. He attempted to wipe the grin from his face. 

He was kept waiting for a few minutes, which was unusual. What Skinner said when he came into the office was even more unusual.

"Agent Mulder, I'm sorry to call you in on such short notice, but I needed to speak with you about something." 

"If this is about the Feller case, I haven't got the report finished yet, sir."

"No, this isn't about any of the X-Files cases. It's not even Bureau business. It's�personal." 

Mulder frowned. "Personal, sir?" 

Skinner sighed, looking quite uncomfortable. "Yes. I was given a messengered package this morning when I came in. That's why I was late coming in, I wanted to find out the point of origin." 

Mulder looked puzzled. "May I ask what was in the package?" 

"I think you should read it for yourself." He handed over the plain envelope to Mulder. "Everything's been tested already. We didn't get anything off of it." 

He nodded and took the package. Inside were photostats of photos, some official-looking documents, some public records. A few of the sheets were in Russian, some in English. All were about Alex. 

He shot Skinner a glance before he started to read those he could understand. The AD was scrupulously avoiding his gaze. 

He read through the sheets in silence, absorbing what he could, trying to interpret some of the more obscure passages in a few of them. The last document that he came to was a marriage license. One with Alex's name on it. 

"Sam," he said, finally. 

"Pardon me?" Skinner asked, surprised. 

"This is just the same sort of thing that they sent Samantha. An envelope, with copied documents in it. It's the same thing." 

"And those were authentic." 

Mulder nodded. "Yes. I'm sure these are, too. You said that you had no luck in tracing them?" 

"No. We don't have an i.d. on the messenger, either. Apparently he slipped through our famously tight security." 

"So why send these to you?" 

Skinner shrugged. "I have no idea." 

"Obviously whomever is doing this wants you involved." He stood. "I think I should go talk to Alex." 

"I think that's a good idea. Take the day." He was a little concerned about how calm the young man seemed to be about all of this, but decided it was best just to let him deal with it. 

He called Alex from his office before he left, and asked him to meet him at home. 

"Hey," Alex said, kissing him, "what's going on?" 

Mulder kissed him back, and handed him the envelope. 

As if sensing what was inside, Alex took it gingerly. He stole a glance at Mulder before he opened it, and sat down hard on the couch when he saw what was inside. "Damn," he said. "Damn." 

"This is what you couldn't tell me?" 

He nodded. "I don't know what's going on, Mulder. I thought it was over, but it's not." 

"I was assuming that it's all true." 

"Yes. Did you have it translated?" 

Mulder shook his head. "There wasn't time. Skinner just gave it to me an hour ago." 

"Skinner?" 

"Someone sent it to him this morning." 

Alex flipped through the sheaf. "Birth certificate, training records, military service," he said, translating easily. "Marriage license. We would get married in London." He leaned back and shut his eyes. "So what now?" 

"Now we figure out what's going on." 

"We?" 

Mulder paused. "You _don't_ believe that I love you, do you?" 

"Anyone else would be long gone." 

"Anyone else wouldn't know what they were missing. Anyone else wouldn't know what you taste like, what it's like to be inside you. Anyone else wouldn't know what it's like to wake up in the morning in your arms. Anyone else might be able to imagine a life without you." 

Alex's finely-held control seemed to visibly collapse. "God, I love you," he managed to say through his tears. 

"I know," Mulder said, holding him. 

They sat there quietly together for quite a while, before they both calmed down enough to speak again. 

"I feel better, somehow." 

"It's hard to keep secrets," Mulder said. 

"I didn't lie to you�my parents were immigrants, but I was, too. I wasn't born here. I went back to Russia when I was sixteen, after being here for ten years." 

"You went into the service there?" 

"Uh-huh. I was recruited to work in special forces from the army." 

"They made you a double agent?" 

"At first. It was easy for me, having grown up here, to project the whole first-generation American thing." 

"And then?" 

"After about two years back in the states, I defected. It was simple. I ended up at the Bureau�they knew my entire background, and fashioned me a new identity. Only the Consortium didn't know that they knew, when they recruited me to work for them. They used my past as blackmail." 

"And the Bureau sanctioned your working for them, to try to bring down the Consortium," Mulder said. "They never found out?" 

"No. I wouldn't have lived if they had. Smoking man would have killed me himself." 

"So you were a double agent again. And that's when you came and started giving me the information on Cancerman." 

"Uh-huh." 

"And your Russian superiors�they just let you go?" 

"At first. I should have known that it was too easy. They were keeping close tabs on me. They had a female agent assigned to me specifically." 

"So how did you find out about that?" 

"We had a history. They were counting on her loyalty to them. She had a little left for me, though." 

"And she told you about the surveillance." 

Alex nodded. "Juda�" he started. 

The name triggered something in Mulder's memory. "Judalon Zawarska. The woman who's name was on the marriage license." 

"Yes," Alex agreed. "She's my wife." 

Before he could ask anything else, Mulder's cell phone rang. "Mulder." 

"Hi, it's me." 

"Scully," he said. 

"I was wondering if you were all right." 

"You talked with Skinner, then," he said, glancing at Alex. 

"He came home about an hour ago. I think we should talk about this, if you're up to it." 

"I think you're right. I'll pick up Beth and be there in about an hour." 

"We'll be expecting you, then." 

Once they were at Skinner's, Mulder gave Beth the package. It took her all of two minutes to say it. "Hey, this is like mine," she said, turning it in her hands, before she opened it up. 

Mulder nodded. "We _are_ related. It's specific enough to be noticed, and generic enough never to be traced." 

"But why send it to Walter?" 

He shrugged. 

"If it had gone to Alex, you'd probably never have seen it," she mused, giving him a glance. "And sending it you would have made it a private matter. Obviously whoever's doing this wants all of us involved. But why?" 

"Would you be interested in a job?" Walter asked her. 

She laughed. "It's in the genes, apparently. Or some of them, anyway." 

"That still doesn't tell us what's going on here," Dana said. 

Alex finally spoke. "I had a job last week," he said, glancing at Mulder. "It was a request. From Juda." 

"Personal?" Mulder asked. 

"No. I found some information for her. Nothing illegal," he said, hurriedly. "Nothing that couldn't be done by anyone with a little time on their hands." 

"So why ask you?" 

"To let me know that I'm not out. That they're still keeping tabs on me. I've gotten used to that. Now, it seems, they're keeping a watch on all of us." 

"But why?" Beth asked. "If they were the ones who sent the information on me, why now? Why bring this all up again?" 

"I don't know. But this," he picked up the envelope, "leads me to believe that we're going to find out." 

"I don't like this," Beth said. "Whoever is doing this is pulling strings in all of our lives. I thought that you had gotten rid of them." 

"I thought we had, too," Dana said. "Apparently, Cancerman was just the beginning." 

"Juda's been in contact with you?" Mulder asked Alex. 

"A few weeks ago. I saw her, gave her some information. She contacted me again last week, indirectly." 

"How?" Dana asked. 

"She sent me divorce papers. We've been apart for seven years now. She's met someone, and wants a divorce." 

"I can't believe I'm having an affair with a married man," Mulder said. 

Beth started to laugh. "Oh my god," she said. "We are related. I was thinking exactly the same thing." 

Dana wrinkled her nose at them. "Having a really horrendous sense of humour must be a family trait." 

"There's no other way to explain his ties," Beth said, and made them all laugh. 

"You know, you're right," Mulder said, calming down. "We either deal with this stuff, or we don't." 

"I cannot believe how zen you're getting, Mulder," Dana said. 

"He's right, though," Beth said. "It's like I told you. It's really not that difficult. You figure things out and deal with them. It's all we can do. So, what do we do now?" 

"I guess all we can do is wait. Until we hear something else, that is." 

"What an anti-climax." 

"Sorry, sis," he said, kissing her on top of the head. "I'll save the dramatic shoot-outs for later." 

They were home and in bed when Mulder turned to him. "So you're divorced now?"

"Yeah. It wasn't even a real marriage, actually. We were ordered to get married for an assignment." 

Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Too bad Scully and I didn't have a boss like yours."

Alex laughed. "I doubt that Skinner wishes the same thing." 

"You're probably right. No more secrets?" 

"Not if I can help it," he said. "You forgive me?" 

"I don't have any choice. I don't want to lose you. Think how happy that would make my mother." 

"So basically what you're telling me is that we're staying together solely to punish your mother." 

"Yup."

"I can live with that." 

"Good. Besides, we bought all the furniture together, and we'd have to split it all up."

"And decide who gets the apartment." 

"Yeah. It's much easier just to stay together." 

"Good." He turned and slid up against Mulder. "Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For being insane enough to love me in the first place, and for being strong enough to keep loving me now." 

"Hey," he said, kissing Alex. "I come from a long line of insanity. It's a proud family tradition." 

"And the strength?" 

"I'm just stubborn. I hate to admit defeat." 

Alex chuckled. "Don't ever change." 

"Oh, it's far too late for that, baby, believe me. You're stuck with me." 

"Poor me," he sighed. "Poor us." 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	10. Walter

 

Walter

  
**Walter  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
"Does that thing ring during the day at all?" Alex groaned, fumbling for the light, as Mulder reached for his cell phone. 

"Mulder." 

He listened for a while, saying very little. Alex tried not to let his curiosity show on his face. He rolled his eyes as Mulder said, "Yeah, okay. I'll be there." 

"Not now." 

Mulder nodded, putting the phone back on the nightstand. 

"Mulder, it's four a.m. No," he stopped himself. "I'm not having this conversation again. Do you want me to go with you?" 

"Alex, you're sweet, but you're not even in the Bureau anymore." 

"I wish Skinner would give you another partner, already. It's been weeks." 

"I survived a long time before Scully came along, you know. Nobody had to baby-sit me before." 

"Maybe they should have." He moved out of the way of the pillow that flew at him. "Okay. I worry. So shoot me." 

"I stopped doing that months ago." Mulder pulled himself out of bed, and walked into the bathroom. Alex could hear the toilet flush, then the water running in the sink. He was pulling on his leather jacket when Alex turned over again, his mouth watering. _Mulder in leather, and he's _leaving_._ He pulled the covers over himself, willing his erection down. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," Alex said, capturing his face and pulling him into a kiss. He tried to keep it light, but his mouth had other ideas. 

"Wow," Mulder said, pulling away. "How am I supposed to work after that?" 

Alex grinned at him. "You think that's bad?" He flashed his erection. "How do you think _I_ feel?" 

Mulder groaned. "I've got to go." 

"Go. I'm not keeping you." 

"Maybe you should win the lottery and make me an offer." 

Alex laughed. "I'll get right on that." 

They kissed again. "Bye, baby," Mulder breathed, and was gone. Alex snapped out the light and sighed. Even his own hands weren't arousing him anymore. With Mulder gone, he had no trouble getting back to sleep. 

Dana Scully groaned as she heard the phone ring. She clicked on the light and handed the receiver to her husband. "It's not for me," she said, "none of _my_ cases can use the phone." 

He gave her a smile and took the phone. "Skinner." 

He listened for a while, a growing look of alarm coming over his face. He glanced at Dana, who gave him a worried look. Finally he said, "I'll be right there," and hung up the phone. 

"What's he done this time?" she asked. 

"I don't know," Walter said. "Virginia State police found his car abandoned on County Road 6 about half an hour ago." 

"Foul play?" she asked, anxiously. 

"No sign," he shook his head. "It was just abandoned. Completely unlocked, even his cell phone was inside. But there was no sign of him anywhere." 

"They didn't call Alex?" 

"They found his Bureau id, his wallet, and called the office. They routed the call out here." 

"We'd better call." 

"It's only seven, Dana. Let's give it a little while, and see if he shows up anywhere." 

"But maybe he's heard from him, or knows where he is." 

"Let me get a little more information, and then we'll call." 

Reluctantly, Dana agreed. 

At seven-thirty, Alex was lazing over a third cup of coffee. "That's what you get for being a gainfully employed civilian. _I_ don't have to be at work until 10." And, truth be told, he was hoping that Mulder would call before he had to leave.

The phone rang beside him. 

"Hello." 

"Alex?"

"Hi, Dana," he said, folding his newspaper. "What's up?" 

"Alex, do you know where Mulder is?" 

"No. He got a call about three hours ago and tore out of here. Why?" 

"Walter got a call from the state police about thirty minutes ago. They found Mulder's car abandoned�" The rest of what she said was drowned out by a sudden buzzing in his head. His stomach felt as though it dropped completely out of his body. 

"Alex?" she asked. "Are you still there?" 

He shook his head. "Yeah, I'm still here. Sorry. Where did they find the car?" 

"County Road 6. It's a pretty barren area, just a couple of farms and not much else." 

"Yeah, I've been out there." It was a popular stretch of road for making illicit drops and collecting information. 

"I'm going to go into the office and see if there's anything in his notes that could tell us what he's been working on. Do you think you could look around at your place? Maybe on his personal computer, or in his desk, or something?" 

"Sure, Dana. I'll get right on it. Have you called Beth?" 

"I was hoping that we wouldn't have to. Let's give it a little bit more time before we call her. There's really nothing that she can do to help, and it would just worry her." 

"Yeah, okay. Keep in touch, okay?" 

"You, too. Don't worry, Alex�we'll find him." 

"I know." 

As he hung up, he swore to himself. "Yes, we will, Dana. Or I'll die trying." 

He tore through the desk, but there wasn't anything important there� the usual collection of photos and science magazines. The computer wasn't proving to be much help, either. He laughed at the naked women he saw on the screensaver� _Can't get over it, can you Mulder?_ he thought�but hacking through the files was getting him nowhere. He even checked for any suspicious e-mail, but there was nothing that meant anything to him. Mostly just Lone Gunmen stuff. 

"Lone Gunman." He played a hunch and gave them a call. 

"Frohicke? This is Alex." 

"Hey, Alex. What's up?" 

"Mulder's missing." 

"Again," he said, as if it were an everyday occurrence, which it used to be. "Any leads?" 

"Just County Road 6 in Virginia." 

"Let me put some feelers out, okay? I'll get back to you." 

"Great, thanks." 

_Damn. Mulder, where are you?_ He turned back to the computer, and ran over the contents of the hard drive one more time, before methodically running through each of the floppy disks yet again. 

The doorbell rang twice before he realized it wasn't the phone and put the receiver down. He took a quick look at his watch on the way to answer it�almost 1130am. 

There were two uniformed officers standing outside. His stomach took another quick trip downwards. 

"Yes?" he made himself say. 

"Alex Krycek?" the younger of the two asked him. 

"That's me," he said. 

"I'm Officer Dixon, this is Officer Hayes. We need you to come to the police station with us and take a look at a body." 

"God," he said. 

The morgue was cold. All the times that he had been in one, and he'd never gotten past the temperature. The smell, even, he could deal with�it was the cold, clamminess of death that bothered him more than anything else. He had a brief thought that surely they could arrange for something more�well, _homey_ , in which family could view the remains of their loved ones. Anything but these steel-gray walls and fluorescent lights. A plant, maybe a nice throw rug. He swallowed a near-hysterical giggle before it could escape. 

He stood there waiting for five minutes before the attendant took him into a smaller room, with a single steel gurney in it. The body was covered in the requisite white sheet, the toe tag peeking out from under the end. "J. Doe" was all that it said. He was led to the head of the gurney, and the sheet was pulled back. He took a deep breath, then opened his eyes, taking in the sight of the recently deceased. 

"Do you know her?" the attendant asked. 

He nodded. "Her name is Juda." 

He was stuck there answering questions and filling out papers for a couple of hours. They had no leads on her killer�at least none that they were sharing with him. And, because the divorce hadn't been processed yet, he was her next of kin. He seemed to be the only person in the world who had ever had any contact with her. She had had no i.d. when they found her, just a piece of paper in her pocket with his name and address on it. There was no record of her most recent entry into the United States at all. They managed to trace her movements back to London, five days previous, but from there it was a blank. It was turning into something of an international incident, and that was making the state police more than a little testy. And everyone grew distinctly hostile when the federal agents muscled into the room. Alex groaned as he recognized the dark suits and not-quite-military shoes�one thing you could always tell feds by, their shoes. 

Finally, he was allowed a minute to call Dana. 

"Scully," she answered. 

"Hi, it's me."

"Alex, where the hell have you been? I've been calling the apartment for hours." 

"You found him." 

"No, but I was beginning to think that the two of you disappeared to the same place. Where are you?" 

He described the events of the morning to her. 

"Oh, god. Alex, I'm sorry. Do you want me to come over?" 

"No. _I_ don't even want to be here, but they won't let me leave. Do you have any leads on Mulder?" 

"Nothing. The files are in even worse shape than when I started working here. Walter hasn't come up with anything, either." 

"Dammit," he said. "Okay, look, I'm probably going to be stuck here at least two or three more hours, from the looks of it. When I'm done here, I'll come over to the office and give you a hand." 

"Okay. Call me if anything else comes up." 

"Will do." 

The perfectly nondescript agent walked into the room. _Three years ago,_ Alex thought, _that was me._ He gave a small snort. _Did I ever have that bad a haircut?_

He peered out of a manila folder. "Agent Krycek," he said, with a smile, "I'm Agent Thomas. I'm sorry to have to keep you here, but we need to ask you a few more questions." 

Alex's guard went up the minute he saw the smile. "Not 'Agent' anymore, I'm afraid," he said, folding his hands on the table. "Not for a while." 

"Of course not. I'm sorry." 

The "I'm sorry"s were beginning to bother him, too, but he decided not to push it. "I don't know what else I could possibly tell you." 

"I was wondering," Thomas said, "what you could tell me about 78 Admiral Road." 

He kept his face completely neutral, while his insides started a small jig. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Oh, I think you do. It's where we found the body of your wife." He peered into the folder again. "In a storage warehouse at that address. Do you know what she was doing there?" 

He shook his head. "I haven't seen her in years," he said. "We've been separated for nearly seven years." 

"And you've only now divorced? And even that isn't final yet, is it? Isn't that a little unusual?" 

Alex shrugged. "Just never got around to it, I guess." 

Thomas nodded. "I hate to contradict you, Mr. Krycek, but we happen to know that you have been in contact with your wife�I'm sorry, _ex_ -wife�since then. Quite recently, as a matter of fact." He sat down in the chair opposite, and gave another benign smile. "We've been keeping tabs on Miss Zawarska for a few months now, ever since we had a report that she had entered the country. We try to keep a close watch on suspected terrorists, ever since the nasty business with the World Trade Center." 

Alex nodded. "Why am I here, if you knew who she was, and what she was doing here? Why were the police involved at all?" 

Thomas looked a little uncomfortable, but covered it nicely. "The police are generally involved in matters of homicide." 

"No, they aren't. Not when to have them involved is a matter of national security." He leaned forward, giving a dazzling smile. "You lost her, didn't you? I could have told you that she would be impossible to keep tabs on." 

"Yes," Thomas snapped, "well, it might have been better for her if we had, wouldn't it? We might have been able to prevent this unpleasant business." 

"I doubt it. Postpone it, perhaps." Alex leaned back again, never taking his eyes off the other man. "So why am I still here?" 

"Where is Agent Mulder?" 

He couldn't mask his surprise at that question, and immediately berated himself, while recovering his composure. "Why don't you call the Bureau?" he suggested, smoothly. 

"Mr. Krycek, you and I both know that Agent Mulder did not report for work at the Bureau this morning. We both know that he left your apartment this morning at approximately 4.45am, and since then, seems to have disappeared. What I want to know, is where he is now."

Alex shrugged. "I have no idea." 

Thomas shook his head. "Don't you realize that things will be so much better for him if he turns himself in? Don't you think that he might possibly be in some danger himself, from Miss Zawarska's employers?" 

"I don't know what you're dancing around here," Alex said, "but he did not have anything to do with this. I don't know where he is, and I don't know who killed Juda. So, if you have no further questions�" 

Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but there was a knock at the door, then it opened. Another fed popped his head in. "There's someone to see you, sir," he said, before being pushed out of the way. Alex was surprised to see Walter Skinner walk into the interrogation room. 

"Thomas," he said, "I should have known." 

"Skinner," the other man acknowledged. "This is not your jurisdiction. I'd be happy to talk to you outside." 

"One of my agents is involved. That makes it my jurisdiction." He glanced at Alex. "You all right?" 

Alex nodded. "Any news?" 

Walter shook his head, then turned back to Thomas. "If you're done with him, we'll be going." 

"But I'm not done. I won't be done until I know the whereabouts of Agent Mulder." 

"Krycek," Skinner asked. "Do you know where Agent Mulder is?" 

"No." 

Skinner turned to Thomas. "Any other questions?" 

Thomas seemed to have a sudden insight into the futility of asking any further questions at this particular time, so he placed the folder down on the desk and shook his head. "Not at the moment." 

"Great. We'll go, then." 

They were halfway out the door when they heard Thomas' next comment: 

"It happens all the time with fags. A boyfriend's jealous rage�" 

Thomas never saw the fist that flew at him. When he landed on the floor, nose bloodied, he looked almost more embarrassed than hurt, or even outraged. Alex was impressed by the power that his former boss managed to pack in such a small movement. 

"I'd suggest, _Agent_ Thomas, that you keep your small-minded idiotic comments to yourself," he said, then stormed out the door. Alex couldn't keep the smile from his face as he followed behind. 

They were mostly silent in the car. Alex knew better than to offer any thanks, and decided to let his body language do the talking. The air was still heightened, though. 

"Has there been any news?" 

Skinner shook his head. "They've got the scene roped off tighter than Thomas' ass," he said. "I can't officially find out anything." 

"And unofficially?" 

"Everything sounds bad and worse. It seems as though Mulder had a meeting with Judalon Zawarska on County Road 6 this morning at 5.30am. A gas jockey remembers seeing her car five minutes earlier, headed that way. Mulder apparently stopped for gas at the station, and then headed in the same direction." 

"And Juda's car?" 

"Abandoned about five miles from the warehouse. They think that they met, took her car to the warehouse, Mulder killed her there, and then abandoned the car." 

Alex shook his head. "Pretty cut-and-dried, isn't it?" 

Skinner shot him a look. "Do you think it's possible?" 

"Absolutely not." 

"Good. Did you know that he was meeting her?" 

"He didn't tell me a thing, but that's not unusual. He usually doesn't. This doesn't feel right, though. If he knew that he was meeting Juda, he would have said something." 

"Even if she asked him not to?" 

"Yes. It would have gone beyond merely Bureau business, and we're not keeping any personal secrets anymore." Skinner nodded again. "I don't think that he knew that she would be there. We don't even know that they actually met." 

"They're going over her car. Hair, fingerprints, whatever� they'll find something." 

"Even if there isn't really anything to find," Alex muttered. 

When they got to the Hoover Building and up to Skinner's office, they were surprised to see both Dana and Beth waiting there. 

"Why didn't you call me?" Beth asked, hugging Alex. "I was worried sick. I was calling all over the place, and I couldn't find anyone."

"Why were you calling?" 

"Fox and I had an appointment with Dr. Hanson at twelve, remember?" 

Alex groaned. "I forgot all about that. Mulder was even talking about it last night at dinner. He was glad that you'd agreed to go back."

"Yeah, well, I waited in the waiting room as long as possible, then went home." 

"You didn't go in by yourself?" 

She shook her head. "The doctor didn't show up, either. His receptionist tried to get a hold of him, but didn't have any luck. She's supposed to call when he comes in and set up another appointment. I couldn't get a hold of anyone, though, and when I called the office and Dana answered, I knew there was something wrong." She looked at all of their faces. "Tell me." 

Alex took a deep breath and related, in sketchy detail, all that they knew.

"Jesus," Beth said. "But this has happened to him before, and he's always been okay, right?" 

Alex nodded. "Of course. He's got more lives than a cat." 

Dana hesitated a moment before turning to her husband. "They threw me out of the office," she said, pursing her lips. 

"What!" he seethed. "Who?" 

"InSec," she said. "They're taking over the investigation. They seem to have authorization over everything. They've sealed everything off, and they're going over it with a fine-tooth comb. Mulder's going to be furious�they've taken away nearly all of his files."

"InSec?" Beth mouthed at Alex. 

"Internal Security," he said, pulling her away from the other two. "An internal investigation section of the government. They oversee all of the various governmental branches�FBI, CIA, everyone, pretty much. We generally call them InSects." 

She laughed, mirthlessly. "I can see why." 

Skinner was on the phone, talking quietly but firmly to whomever was on the other end. "I want you to tell me who the hell has given you authorization to enter the office of one of my agents and remove official documents. I want you to tell me what the hell is going on here�" He listened for a moment. "I don't think you realize who you are talking to." He listened a little longer, then slammed down the phone. "I'm going over there. I'm not getting anywhere on the phone." 

"Will he see you?" Dana asked. 

"He damn well better," Walter said, shrugging into his coat. "This is so far beyond normal InSec policy that Amendments to the Constitution couldn't cover it." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll call you, I promise. Call me if you find out anything." 

She nodded. "Give 'em hell." 

When he had left, she turned to Alex and Beth. "Feel like doing some boring investigating?" 

"What do you have in mind?" 

She reached into her purse and pulled out a box of computer disks. "I managed to snag this before the InSects came in. It's the only thing I didn't get a chance to take at least a glance at this morning." 

Alex smiled. "Let's go to my place," he said, holding out a hand. 

They walked into the apartment, and Alex turned on the lights. It was nearly dinnertime, so Beth offered to cook, while Dana booted up the computer. Alex switched on the answering machine on the way by. There were several messages from Dana, four from Beth, and one from Frohicke. 

**Sorry, Alex�haven't seen or heard anything about our mutual friend. Call in if you hear anything, we'll keep scouting.** 

He changed his clothes, then came out to sit beside Dana at the computer. "Any luck?" 

"Not so far," she said. "It seems to be mostly casefiles. Some of them are pretty old�ones that we worked on about a year and a half ago. Stuff about Cancerman, the consortium, even stuff about you." 

"Really?" Alex asked. "What about me?" 

"Um, Alex," Dana said, with a grin. "I _really_ don't think you want to read some of this stuff. Mulder was a little, uh, _upset_ during some of his entries." 

Alex grinned. "Oh, good, blackmail. Let me see." 

Beth came out, wiping her hands on a towel. "Anything interesting?"

Alex smiled at her. "Interesting, yes�helpful, not so far." 

She glanced at the screen, then went to the door to retrieve the late edition of the newspaper. "Do you suppose there's anything about Juda in here?" 

"I doubt it." He thought again about what he hadn't told Agent Thomas about 78 Admiral Road, and the warehouse. It was the warehouse Juda had asked him for information about, that had deposited them into each other's lives after so long. 

Beth sat on the couch and pored over the paper. He looked at the computer screen as Dana brought up another directory. 

"Oh my god," Beth suddenly said. They both turned to look at her. She looked at them, in shock. 

"What is it?" Dana asked, going over to her. 

"Dr. Hanson's dead," she said, pointing to an article in the first section of the paper. Dana read aloud: 

_"Respected hypnotherapist Dr. Julius Hanson was found dead this afternoon in his Mission Boulevard apartment by a neighbour who reported hearing gunfire. There was no sign of forced entry, and the police are tentatively ruling it a suicide. Dr. Hanson was 47 year old..."_

Dana and Alex exchanged glances. 

"This is a little bit too much in one day just to be coincidental, isn't it?" Beth said, quietly. 

"I'd better call Walter," Dana said. 

"Oh, god," Beth said, as Alex came and hugged her. "He _is_ going to be all right, isn't he?" 

"We'll make sure of it," he said. "But I don't want you going home alone tonight. Until we know what's going on, I'm your new best friend. You're staying here, and we'll pick up some of your clothes in the morning." 

She nodded. "Alex, I'm scared." 

"Don't be. Believe me, we've been through worse than this, all of us, and we've survived. We'll be fine." He hugged her again. 

Walter stared across the table at the row of faces. He had an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu�it was the consortium, all over again. Only it wasn't. 

"You have no right to take Bureau files�" 

"Believe me, Assistant Director Skinner, we have the right to take anything that we need to complete our investigation." The man sitting in the middle of the table leaned forward. "Or don't you want us to find Agent Mulder?" 

"Of course I want him found," Walter said, trying to remain calm. "I also want information. I won't be kept in the dark about this _investigation_."

"We wouldn't dream of it." The man leaned over, brandishing a package of cigarettes. "Would you care for one?" 

Walter stared at it, then at the man, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. He shook his head. 

The man shrugged, then fished out a single Morley cigarette. 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


	11. Sarah

 

Sarah

  
**Sarah  
by Mona Ramsey**

  
The plush medical offices had been ransacked; from all evidence, it was a professional job. Alex sighed�there was nothing significant left to be found here�all audio and videotapes gone, all important records disappeared. They hadn't even bothered to be neat about it \- things were strewn all over in an attempt to make it appear just another burglary. It was so much the way it had been before that he almost refused to believe it. 

He recognized the distant wail of a siren and discreetly let himself out the back entrance to the building, peering around the corner as the police arrived at the front, brandishing flashlights as they surveyed the damage done to the office. 

"Make the connection," he prayed. "A suicide, a break-in, all in less than twenty-four hours. Make the connection, dammit." 

He could faintly hear one of the uniformed officers speaking to a colleague. "Must have really been desperate to get out of something," he muttered, "killing himself, burning his records�damn, I wonder what he was doing." 

"Probably drugs," the other one said, in reply. "You know what these rich doctors are like." 

"Yeah," his partner agreed. "Probably. Okay, let's call this in." 

"Dammit!" Alex swore under his breath, then turned the corner for his car. "Mulder, where the hell are you?" 

He called Scully from the car. 

"Did you find anything?" 

"What I expected to find�nothing. They cleaned the office out, Dana. Records, files, tapes�everything's gone. And now, so's Dr. Hanson. Fuck!" he said, in desperation. "The body count is piling up, and we don't have a clue where Mulder is." 

"Alex, we'll find him." 

He nodded his head, suddenly feeling very tired. "How's Beth doing?" 

"About as well as can be expected. She's scared, but she's holding herself together. A family trait, I'd say." Alex smiled into the phone. "What are you going to do now?" 

"I don't know. I need to think. I feel like is something is staring me right in the face, and I can't see it." 

"Well, don't worry about Beth. She can stay here tonight with us. Just don't disappear yourself, ok? I want to hear from you." 

"Don't worry, Dana�I got over disappearing when I left the X-Files." 

She gave a snort. "Yeah, me too. We'll have to find Mulder a nice desk job." 

After he hung the phone up, he leaned heavily against the steering wheel. _When we find Mulder,_ he thought, _I'm going to kill him. Then, I'll fuck him till he goes insane. _Then_ we'll find him a desk job._

He started the car and headed in the direction of County Road 6.

Beth lay in bed, utterly unable to sleep, but unwilling to get up for fear of waking her hosts. Walter had been tight-lipped and angry when he got back from the Bureau; Beth had discreetly excused herself, to let them have some time alone, even though she was dying of curiosity. 

She switched on the bedside lamp and reached over the edge of the bed for her purse, pulling out a small leather-bound book. She opened it up and turned a few pages, finally stopping at the entry she had made directly after her last therapy session: 

'I'm remembering, but everything seems unreal to me. Why does this still feel like someone else's life? Why can't I remember what happened to me? 

'What happened to me?' 

She picked up a pen and started to write on a fresh page: 

'Everyone's disappearing around me. Fox is gone, Dr. Hanson, even Alex's ex-wife. I didn't even know her, but I feel like we're all bound together somehow. And if that's true, is everything happening because of me? Or does it mean that I'm next?' 

She lay back with her head on the pillow, resting the book on her stomach. _Fox, I need you._

There was nothing left there�only tire tracks that mixed anonymously with all of the other ones that had gone past all day. The scene had been cleared hours ago�the car towed, not even a trace of police tape left to indicate that anything ever happened. 

The warehouse was the same. There were so many stains on the floor that it was impossible to distinguish which one might have been caused by Juda. 

Juda. Jesus. 

_I can't think about this. I'm sorry, Juda, but I can't._

He knew that she understood. She always understood him better than anyone else ever did, better than he did himself. She always knew what he needed, what he craved, when he was unwilling to admit it to himself. Their marriage was sham from start to finish�a cover made in desperation when a job had been going terribly wrong�but he had made an attempt at it. It was important to him, once, that it look real, that it become real. He wanted to want her, and love her, and have her be his wife. She laughed at him. 

"Alexei, I love you dearly, but you're a boy." She twisted a lock of hair down over his forehead, and kissed him softly. "If you were a man�" She shook her head. "No. Even then, it wouldn't be enough. And I wouldn't do that to you." 

He hadn't understood her then, but she was right. It was easy to slip away, and to start a new life, and to forget, as much as you can ever forget anything. He could make himself forget her. 

"Mulder. Where are you?" 

He felt his control slipping away. He wanted to crumple himself into a ball and scream, rage, cry out�anything to feel something other than the blank terror that overcame him. If Cancerman were here, it would all be simple. He'd simply kill the son-of-a-bitch. There was no question. 

But it wasn't Cancerman, not this time. It was all simpler and much more difficult than that, because he didn't have a clue what was going on. 

"I just have to think. That's all. Something is here, and I can find out what it is. I just have to think." 

He circled around the warehouse again. There was moonlight streaming in through the many shattered windows. It was almost peaceful to be there, where Mulder had been�if Mulder had even gone there at all. 

The call. There must be some record of the call. No, that would have been taken care of already. 

The apartment... 

He turned the car into their spot in the garage and walked up to the apartment. He pulled his gun from its shoulder holster and eased through the door, clearing the entire place before he turned the lights on. Then he turned on a small transistor radio, and slowly and methodically made his way through the apartment, checking electrical fixtures, phones, appliances. When he was finished, several hours later, he had a neat collection of tiny surveillance equipment piled on the kitchen table in front of him. He doused each and every piece in water in a small plastic dish, covering it carefully. He wanted to smash them all, but didn't, laying his head on the table and staring sightlessly at the innocuous collection of metal and wire swirling in the water. 

Dana watched her husband pace around their bedroom. She waited for him to speak. 

"I still don't know what the hell they're doing. I don't even think that they're doing anything to find him." He shook his head. "For all we know, they're behind the disappearance." 

"But why would they do that now? Why wait so long after the arrests, and the trial?" 

Walter shrugged. "Payback? Cancerman's _friends_ didn't all die with him, and we didn't manage to lock them all up, either. Some of them slipped by us, and maybe they've just been waiting for a chance at vengeance." 

"But why now? And why get rid of Juda?" 

"According to official InSec reports, she was a terrorist, working for a militant faction in Afghanistan. They've _found_ papers linking her to some high-level terrorist acts in Europe." 

"And you don't believe that's true?" 

"I don't believe any of it. If it was true, and they knew it and still let her into the country, it would blow the lid off of the anti- terrorist section." 

"That would explain why they _lost_ all record of her movements after she arrived." 

He nodded. "Exactly." 

She paused a moment. "Dr. Hanson's dead." 

"Beth's therapist? How? When?" 

"They found the body today. The papers said it was a suicide. Alex doesn't believe it, though. He said the good doctor's office was ransacked, and all of Beth's records were taken." 

"Jesus." He sat down heavily on the bed. Dana took his hand. "We have to find him, Dana. And we have to face the fact that we may be the only ones looking for him." 

"Do you think he's dead?" 

"I don't know." He hugged her to him. "I really don't know." 

She sniffed his jacket. "Since when have you started smoking?"

He looked at her. 

"Oh, no. Not again. We can't do this again." 

He put an arm around her. "No, we can't," he agreed, grimly. "And we won't." The promise in his voice made her feel strangely safe, when she thought she should be overcome with a sense of dread. It was the same sort of promise that always made her think of Mulder, and she knew this was just one of the reasons that she had fallen in love with this man. 

There was no reason at all why he didn't sleep in any one of the three bedrooms in the apartment, except for the fact that they've made love in each of them. And in the bathroom, on the kitchen table, in the linen closet. Almost everywhere, in fact, except on the couch. 

This couch that they've always tacitly reserved for snuggling and necking and watching basketball and bad infomercials. They'd never made love there, so that's where Alex slept. 

He told himself that it was because it's beside the phone, even though his own cell is ever-present. The sleep that he was able to capture is barely worth it, just barely more than nothing�but enough to push him forward into another day. 

It's sacrelige what he needs, what he wants, what he can't have. He should be looking for Mulder. Mulder�who's probably in some cage somewhere, or a ditch, or a hospital bed, or a cell� Mulder who's beaten or broken or dying or dead. He can't help it. He needs it. He needs Mulder. 

And if he can't have him, he'll have the only thing that he can bear. 

His hand snakes down and opens his fly, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them just far enough down that he can free his cock, which has been so hard for so long that he's sure it will never soften again. Just thinking of Mulder, just being in the same house that he was in, just imagining that mouth on him, being able to still smell him, makes him hard, and horny. The shame of that need washes over him, but he can't ignore it anymore. He can't ignore it and go on. 

It's been weeks since he's been away anywhere on business. They've never gone more than three days without making love. Mulder's only been gone for�he steals a glance at the time on the vcr�fuck, less than twenty-four hours. He's so hard that he can't help touching himself. 

They've had phone sex a couple of times, but Alex kidded Mulder that he had too much respect for his phone to ever use it seriously in such a way. Mostly it was just a tease, although the sound of his voice could make him come. The shy, quiet quality, the telling pauses, those lips - 

Dammit. 

He reached in, feeling the heat of his erection. It's too much. One touch and he'll be gone. One touch... 

He can close his eyes and pretend that it's Mulder's hand on him. He can pretend that Mulder's in the corner, watching him, licking his lips, urging him on, pushing him over the edge. And it's Mulder who licks the semen from his fingers, bathing each one of them with his tongue, taking each deep into his mouth, fucking his mouth with those fingers. 

And none of it is nearly enough. It's only enough to ease him into unconsciousness for a few minutes. 

The phone, when it rings, sends him sprawling off the couch and onto the floor. 

He answers it without thinking. 

"Mulder?" 

"Probably not the one that you're expecting." Beth's voice reaches out to him over the line. "I need to see you, Alex." 

He checked his watch. "I'll be there in half an hour." 

She paced around the kitchen. "It's me they want, isn't it?" she said, finally. 

"Beth�" 

"Alex, what has he given up for me? What sort of a life could he have had if it weren't for me?" 

"None of that was your fault." 

"It wasn't his fault either, but he took it all on anyway. All of it." The hysteria rose in her voice and escaped as a strangled laugh. "Even the stuff that his _parents_ wouldn't take on." 

"And if anything happened to you, do you honestly think that it would be easier for him?" She was quiet. He took her arms in his. "Beth, if it wasn't for you, I'd never even have met him." 

"Alex�" All of the grief came pouring out of her. 

"Shh," he soothed. "It's okay." 

She gathered herself together after a while. She felt as limp in his arms as he felt inside. 

"What do you think is going on, Alex?" 

He considered what he could tell her. A cleverly constructed set of lies occured to him, but in the end he decided against it. It wouldn't do any good to lie to her now. 

"I think you're right," he said, simply. "I think it is you." 

"God." She closed her eyes tightly. When she opened them again, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself and asked, "What?" 

"It doesn't make any other sense. There are a lot of people who might have wanted Juda dead, starting with those that she worked for. And there are a lot of people who've wanted to get rid of Mulder. I'm sure Dr. Hanson had his demons, too. But all three of them�Beth, the only thing that ties them together is you." 

She said nothing, so he continued. "When I met with Juda the last time, she mentioned you." Beth glanced at him sharply. "I think that she knew who took you, or, at the very least, _why_ you were taken." 

"The people you worked for�" 

He shook his head. "Nothing is as simple as that, Beth. Everything is carefully crafted. Everything is a cover-up. I think we were getting too close to finding out what happened. You were remembering, when there had never been any indication before that you would. They probably have had you under surveillance since you arrived at the orphanage as a child." 

"I knew it! I knew the sessions were a bad idea! I wanted to stop them, but he wanted them so badly. He needed to know, Alex, and I couldn't say no." 

"I couldn't have, either." He took her hand in his. "He's very stubborn when he wants something. There's nothing that any of us did wrong, except to forget who we're dealing with. We all thought that it was over when Cancerman died, but that was just a small part of a huge conspiracy." He laughed bitterly. "I sound like Oliver Stone." 

She smiled fleetingly. "I don't know how to believe any of this." 

"It becomes second nature, after a while." 

"What do we do now? What _can_ we do?" 

"I think we may have to wait for Mulder to find us." 

"You think he's alive?" 

"He is," Alex said, firmly. "He's alive and he's going to come back."

Dana came out to the kitchen a little while later. "Hi." 

"We didn't wake you, did we?" 

"No," she shook her head. "I couldn't sleep." 

"Walter?" 

"Like a baby," she smiled. "He thrives on this stuff. He doesn't sleep this well when nothing's going on." She poured herself a glass of water and sat down beside them. "So, what's up?" 

"We were just talking about Fox," Beth said. 

"Any news?" 

Alex shook his head. He glanced at Beth, then turned to Dana. "They bugged the apartment." 

"Do you think that's how they knew where Mulder was going?" 

He shrugged. "Right now, I'm not even sure who did it. Juda warned me about a few things 'back home', but InSec has more detailed information on Mulder's movements than anyone at this point, right from the time of the disappearance." He sighed. "We got too comfortable, Dana, and forgot who we were dealing with." 

"Well, Alex, there wasn't really any reason to think that we _were_ dealing with anyone anymore." 

He shook his head. "No. We never get out of this. We just get lazy and _think_ we're out." He stood up. 

"Where are you going?" Beth asked. 

"I have a feeling I know a few people who are up at this time of night who may just be able to help me with a little package that's in the car." 

Dana smiled at him. "You want me to come with you?" 

"That might be a good idea. I know they'll be a damn sight happier to see you than they will me." 

"Agent Scully," Byers said appreciatively, opening the door. "Or should I say Mrs. Skinner, now?" 

"Scully's fine," she said, stepping into the room. "Why did I know you'd all still be up?" 

"We're always up," Frohicke said with a shrug. "What'd you bring us, Alex?" 

"Just a few toys I found lying around the apartment." He uncovered the dish. 

"Aw, Alex, you didn't have to drown them." Byers started pulling the pieces carefully out of the water. "Hm. German stuff." 

"German? I thought Japan was the big exporter for goverment surveillance equipment," Scully said. 

"You think this is government?" 

"You don't?" Alex asked. 

"Not ours," Frohicke said. "Unless they went shopping in the last couple of days and forgot to tell us." He grinned. "No chance. This isn't expensive stuff, although it packs quite a punch, quality-wise. Whoever wanted this was not the type to spend eight hundred dollars on a toilet seat." 

"Which rules out the American goverment." 

"Pretty much." 

"Damn," Alex said. "I was sure Thompson was in on this somehow. I could _feel_ it." 

"That's not to say he's not working with someone else," Langley said, walking into the room. "There is such a thing as playing both ends against the middle." 

"Yeah, I've heard of that," Alex said, drily. "Is it traceable?" 

"Unlikely. You can get this stuff over the internet these days. It could have come in from anywhere. We can put out some feelers, but I don't think there's much chance of getting anything conclusive." 

"Well, thanks anyway, guys. You can keep that stuff, if you want it." 

"Thanks, Alex. We'll add it to the collection." 

When he and Scully had gotten back into the car, he pounded his fist on the steering wheel. She looked at him in concern. "We're getting farther away, Scully, instead of closer. I should have listened to Juda when she told me about Beth. We've all been drawn into this little family drama, and we were caught totally off-guard for Mulder's disappearance." 

"You think Beth's reappearance was orchestrated deliberately to happen when it did?" 

"Absolutely. Juda said her reappearance was 'expedient' for them. I thought she meant that they were getting Mulder involved so that I could help her without being found out. But now I think they were getting us all involved so they could get rid of Juda and the doctor, and Mulder, with a flick of the wrist." 

Scully leaned back in her seat. "So what are you going to do?" 

"I don't know." 

"I do. You're going to get in touch with one of your old contacts." He looked at her. "Juda couldn't have been the only one, Alex. If she knew something about what happened to Samantha, then there's someone there who knows even more. And while you're doing that, I'll get access to Mulder's car, and the murder scene evidence. If there's anything to find, I'll find it." 

"They'll have cleared it all, Dana." 

She shook her head. "They may think they have, but there's always room for human error." She squeezed his hand. "We're going to find him, Alex. He's going to be fine." After a minute's pause, she asked, "Have you called Sarah?" 

He groaned. "God, no. She'll think _I_ killed him." 

"Do you want me to do it?" 

He nodded. "Would you?" 

"Yeah, I'll stop by first thing in the morning, before I go in." She glanced at her watch. "Which is almost now. I'd better get home before Walter thinks I've disappeared, too." 

"I'll drop you off." Before he started the motor, Alex reached over for a hug. Startled, she hugged him back, feeling the tension in his body. 

In a house twenty minutes away, Sarah Mulder picked up the telephone receiver, drawn out of a restless sleep by the insistent ringing. "Hello?" she said, still a little groggy. 

"Mom?" 

1.5.6370.32186 $(document).scroll(function () { localStorage['page'] = document.URL; localStorage['scrollTop'] = $(document).scrollTop(); }); $(document).ready(function () { if (localStorage['page'] == document.URL) { $(document).scrollTop(localStorage['scrollTop']); } });   
---


End file.
